“The thing about Alzheimer’s is the grieving process begins long before your loved one dies. You lose her before you actually lose her. It is a pain unlike any I had experienced.”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“You can’t force people to stay in your life, so be thankful for the people who choose to stay.
”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“I knew I was starting to feel because I smiled every time he looked at me now. And I hadn’t freaked out.”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“I felt something for him that I didn’t know was possible, and I think I’d choose him all over again if he wasn’t already mine.”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“The thing about Alzheimer’s is the grieving process begins long before your loved one dies. You lose her before you actually lose her. It is a pain unlike any I had experienced.
It was a very surreal time. Feels like limbo, neither here nor there, just waiting...when your time is up.”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“I feel threatened by these dangerous thoughts running through my head.”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“I will always find you, Brandy. This is what I kept telling myself ever since I woke up to the bitter taste of reality. It was a nightmare. The only difference is that I could remember every detail of this one.”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“I pushed my feelings down so far that I became a shell of a person.”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“My isolation had become my only friend. They say that loneliness is a choice, and I was inclined to agree with that statement”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“If I learn everything about my past, would I like the person that I was? Can I be the same person that I used to be?”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“My decision is final. If you can’t love me, at least have a little respect.”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“I married you because I thought you will change and learn how to love me instead.”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“I wish she remembered our love.”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“I know I’m only second best. But I keep thinking it’s better than being nothing at all. I know I can’t be who you need me to be... but it’s so hard that I am fighting a ghost. I’m always trying to outdo a woman who doesn’t even exist in your life anymore... and I’m never going to beat her!”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“I took a deep breath and centered myself on those memories. For in that moment, they would be enough.”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“The biggest and most constant problem was me. I couldn’t perform a quick fix. No amount of bandaging and sutures could fix this. I would have to be reset and stabilized all over again. As it all began to cascade over me, I made a decision. It was time to let the healing begin.”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“All night long I dreamed of Brandy, and when I woke up in the morning, I wanted to dream some more. I wanted to wallow in every sweet and happy memory. Every kiss, every touch, every moment that I treasured. I knew I needed to forget”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“What’s with me? I demanded space, right?”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“Flames were roaring safely in the wall fireplace of the living room. I watched them flicker and thought of how we used to be.”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“How am I going to give a part of myself and live it for someone else when I’m still in the process of picking up its pieces?”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“He looked at me deeply in my eyes. A looked that reminded me of all the things I would have loved about him. I lose my memory, but somehow the feeling of love had stayed, in some way shape or form, it’s at the back of my head the entire time.”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“So maybe it’s love, but maybe it’s too soon to tell.
I need to know that my feelings are real. That I didn’t feel this way just to jar a memory or to pay him back for all the wonderful things he’s given me.”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“
Ivo,
I may not remember what we were. I may not remember the color of your eyes when you look at the sunset or when you stare at the night sky. I may not remember how it feels like to touch your hand. I may not remember how you would like your coffee, whether black or white or sweet. I may not remember the little things that could make you smile and I may not remember how your laugh sounds each time you hear a very funny joke. I may not remember how your perfume smells like and may not remember how your favorite sweater looks like. I may not remember a lot of things about you. But one thing I remember is that I gave you my heart and it will always be yours. Wherever I may be. I am wishing for nothing but for you to be happy. I hope you find someone that will love you as much as I loved you. I hope you find something that could make you happy even if it is not me. I hope you are okay. I will be okay. I promise.
Brandy
P.S: I will love you until I die and if there’s a life after that, I’ll love you then.”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“Sorry, Ivo... sorry,” she mumbled repeatedly. I let her cry in my arms for a while and I hated it. I never thought caring for someone could hurt me this much. “Go get your phone, faster! Take a video of me.”
I reluctantly pulled out my phone and started recording a video. “From the moment I first saw you, I knew you were the one with whom I wanted to share my life,” she started.
I tried to focus and steady myself.
“Because of you, I laugh, I smile, and I dare to dream again. I look forward with great joy to spending the rest of my life with you, caring for you, being there for you in all life has for us. Through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future, I promise to be faithful to you. I love you with my whole heart. I have never trusted anyone the way I trust you. Sometimes I even doubt myself but I know I will never doubt you because you are my true love. I know deep down inside that, you will never break my heart or let me down in any way. I love you, Ivo, I will always be yours forever. Please always remember that,” she finished, crying uncontrollably.
My heart was beating so fast, I was sweating and my hands were shaking. It took me a moment to absorb what she just pledged. I felt my heart pounding with joy, but it was breaking at the same time.
I stared at her for a while, she took a deep breath before looking at me in the eyes again.
“When my mind stops remembering, I want you to show me this video to remind me how much I love you, Ivo.”
Her eyes perked up. Her smile lit up the entire room and she hugged me tight.
“Brandy, you will never know just how much I love you, but I will spend the rest of my days trying to show you.You, only you matter to me. No matter what, there will never be another for me. I love you, don’t you ever forget that.”.”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“The past few months changed me, changed all of us really, and I came out with no heart. I take that back. I’m sure I still had a heart, some figment of compassion left in the wake of the destruction. However, the tiny piece that was left would probably shrivel up and dry as soon as I attempt to open up again. Instead, I had been left numb and unfeeling, paralyzed under the grief of yet another failed relationship.”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“Babe, stop thinking about what has changed or what you have lost. Instead, start looking for what is the same.”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“I went through an emotional roller-coaster.”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“I believed there was a difference between being content and being happy.”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“I love you. I love you. I love you. No matter what happens later, just know I’ll love you.”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
“I know I said I’d be okay... whether I remembered it or not. But if there’s one thing in the world worth remembering, it’s how you made me feel loved.".”
― Ysa Arcangel, quote from Forever Night Stand
Ysa Arcangel
Born place: in Philippines
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“Suze, your whole life," my dad went on, not without sympathy, "you've always made the right decisions. Not necessarily the easiest ones. The right ones. Don't mess that up now, when you're facing what's probably the most important decision you'll ever have to make.”
― Meg Cabot, quote from Twilight
“Everyone in yuppie-land — airports, for example — looks like a nursing baby these days, inseparable from their plastic bottles of water. Here, however, I sweat without replacement or pause, not in individual drops but in continuous sheets of fluid soaking through my polo shirt, pouring down the backs of my legs ... Working my way through the living room(s), I wonder if Mrs. W. will ever have occasion to realize that every single doodad and objet through which she expresses her unique, individual self is, from another vantage point, only an obstacle between some thirsty person and a glass of water.”
― Barbara Ehrenreich, quote from Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting by in America
“I wish I could print up a sign and tape it on my forehead. I OFFICIALLY DO NOT WANT TO KISS ETHAN WATE. NOW PLEASE LET ME BE FRIENDS WITH HIM.”
― Kami Garcia, quote from Beautiful Chaos
“She had never been afraid of the dark, but then she had never known a dark like this before.”
― Alan Brennert, quote from Moloka'i
“I expect you think I’m a bit forward,’ remarked Zach. ‘Wot?”
― Michelle Magorian, quote from Good Night, Mr. Tom
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