“I love you like I love cupcakes.”
“My spine straightened as I gaped at him. “Are you fucking serious?”
He blinked once and then narrowed his eyes. “You don’t need to cuss.”
“I’ll fucking cuss if I want to fucking cuss,” I snapped. “Fucker.”
“My dream had been shattered, but then re-created, fashioned into something with more meaning and becoming more precious.”
“What up?"
"Most likely not your IQ.”
“We can’t be friends. I can’t be friends with you, because I love you, and you’ve hurt me.”
“Holy shit, where did you learn that? Fuck. Don’t answer. I don’t want to know. I prefer to think you were born with that talent.”
“Oh God,” Jase groaned, rubbing a hand down his jaw. “She’s a friend, Dad.”
“Uh-huh.” His father backed up, picking up the bucket. “Friends with a pretty gal like that, then you’re doing something wrong, son.”
“You know, I’ve tried staying away from you. I’ve tried ignoring how I feel about you, which isn’t how I should feel. But it’s like fighting a losing battle. And I don’t want to fight it anymore. I don’t want to ignore this.”
“We need to tell your brother."
And that would be terrifying. For Jase. But I smiled. "Maybe I'll just update my Facebook to 'in a relationship' and tag you?"
Jase snickered and then dropped another kiss on my forehead. "That should go over well.”
“That’s the thing about death that makes it useful. Death was always a reminder to the living to live—to live in the present and to look forward to the future.”
“Time was a funny and fickle thing. Sometimes there was never enough of it, and other times it stretched out endlessly.”
“I think your father looks like he wants to take me hunting. Like a special, scary hunting trip where I'm the game.”
“I want to be there for you. Let me.”
“Cam used to hook up with her.”
“Ew.” I wrinkled up my nose. “And so did you?”
“Not at the same time.”
“God, I hope not.” When he chuckled again , I nudged him with my knee. “You do realize that means you’ve slept with Cam, right?”
“What? Fuck no.” In the dim light, he shrank back. “I told you it wasn’t—”
“He’s been in there. So have you. So by association, you two have had sex.”
“That is disgusting.”
I grinned. “What’s disgusting is that you’ve both been up in there and—”
“Can we not talk about this?”
“Baby, I’m all yours if you want me to be.”
“Jase rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. His warm breath danced over my lips. “I want to take you out on a date. I want to take you horseback riding. I want to tell your brother. I want to take you home to my parents and introduce you as my girlfriend. I want to prove this means more to me. I want to do this the right way.”
“What?” I shrieked and slapped his chest again…
“Ouch.” He rubbed the spot. “Does it disturb you that I’m kind of getting turned on right now?”
I shook my head. “Seriously?”
“Maybe?” he murmured, dipping his head and causing the ends sticking out from under the skullcap to sway. “I’m pretty erect right now to be honest.”
“Oh my God . . .” I rubbed my hand over my hot cheek…
”Want to smack me again? You could try my ass. I’ll probably like that.”
I stared at him.”
“I’ve never been more sorry in my life about anything.
… He dropped his forehead to mine and with a silky soft kiss, he gently parted my lips, working his velvety tongue against mine. “And I’m more than willing to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, because I love you, Tess. I am so fucking in love with you in a way I’ve never loved someone before.” His eyes glittered with hunger and love. “Please let me prove that to you. Please, Tess.”
“Things got out of hand. It happens.”
My brows flew up. “It happens? Often? Do you just walk around and happen to end up kissing girls? Do you slip and fall on girls’ mouths? If so, that’s got to be an awkward life to live.”
“Well . . .” The quirk to his lips was mischievous and teasing, but I was so not having it. He sighed. “Tess, you’re a beautiful girl and I’m a guy and—”
“Oh, shut up.”
His eyes widened.
“Don’t even finish what will most likely be the lamest sentence in the history of lame sentences. You’re attracted to me.”
“Yeah, okay, I might’ve overreacted, but it’s just because I care about you. You’re my sister and I’m supposed to act like a douche when it comes to guys you’re with.”
“You got that part down to a science,” Jase muttered.
Cam flipped him off.”
“I’ve tried staying away from you. I’ve tried ignoring how I feel about you, which isn’t how I should feel . But it’s like fighting a losing battle. And I don’t want to fight it anymore. I don’t want to ignore this.”
“So I’m sorry about that. And when I made the comment about you just wanting to get laid. I know that’s not what you want. You’re better than that and you deserve more than that. I know that doesn’t mean a lot, but it wasn’t the right way, and in the end, it was fucking pointless because here you are and I can’t stay away from you.”
“You…you are amazing, Tess.”
“No, I’m not. I just love you, Jace.”
“You don’t get it, Tess. I can’t have you.”
“But you do have me,” I whispered.”
“A drunk man's words were a sobber man's thoughts”
“I’m not sure I deserve you.”
“Telling me that you wanted to. Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad to hear that, but it makes me want to let you do it again. And for me to do it again. But I wouldn’t want to use just my tongue.” He pressed his forehead to mine, and I drew in a shaky breath at his closeness. “I’d start with that, but I’d want to use my hands and I wouldn’t stop there.”
“You . . . you don’t need all of this.” He turned thundercloud eyes on me. “You’re young and you have all your life ahead of you.”
“I never swallowed before. The idea of it wigged me out, but not with him. Apparently, it was my inner porn star.”
“You don't get it, Tess. I can't have you.”
“The scent of growth, quiet and green, hung heavy in the air. I heard everything. I saw everything. I could count the craters on the moon. I could count every mosquito buzz past, bypassing my tender skin out of respect for a fellow bloodsucker.”
“It's awful to be rich and mind-boggingly handsome and have women fawn over you. My heart bleeds for you. Poor dear, how do you manage?”
“This is what it's all been about with you," he said in an even tone. "All the fear, all
the running. The nightmares." When she nodded, he said, "You called him the devil."
"He is." What are you thinking, Scot?
"But you... married him?"
MacRieve's disgusted with me. "Basically? Yes."
"Ceremony and everything?"
She swallowed. "He tricked me into it. I-I was only sixteen."
A muscle ticked in his cheek and his irises grew pale. "Then know this..."
She stopped breathing.
"Lass, I'm about to make you a widow--”
“In a world where education is predominantly verbal, highly educated people find it all but impossible to pay serious attention to anything but words and notions. There is always money for, there are always doctrines in, the learned foolery of research into what, for scholars, is the all-important problem: Who influenced whom to say what when? Even in this age of technology the verbal humanities are honoured. The non-verbal humanities, the arts of being directly aware of the given facts of our existence, are almost completely ignored.”
“nodded. “I see that you’re a first-level Fighter. Which makes it all the more”
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