“I love you like I love cupcakes.”
“My spine straightened as I gaped at him. “Are you fucking serious?”
He blinked once and then narrowed his eyes. “You don’t need to cuss.”
“I’ll fucking cuss if I want to fucking cuss,” I snapped. “Fucker.”
“My dream had been shattered, but then re-created, fashioned into something with more meaning and becoming more precious.”
“What up?"
"Most likely not your IQ.”
“We can’t be friends. I can’t be friends with you, because I love you, and you’ve hurt me.”
“Holy shit, where did you learn that? Fuck. Don’t answer. I don’t want to know. I prefer to think you were born with that talent.”
“Oh God,” Jase groaned, rubbing a hand down his jaw. “She’s a friend, Dad.”
“Uh-huh.” His father backed up, picking up the bucket. “Friends with a pretty gal like that, then you’re doing something wrong, son.”
“You know, I’ve tried staying away from you. I’ve tried ignoring how I feel about you, which isn’t how I should feel. But it’s like fighting a losing battle. And I don’t want to fight it anymore. I don’t want to ignore this.”
“We need to tell your brother."
And that would be terrifying. For Jase. But I smiled. "Maybe I'll just update my Facebook to 'in a relationship' and tag you?"
Jase snickered and then dropped another kiss on my forehead. "That should go over well.”
“That’s the thing about death that makes it useful. Death was always a reminder to the living to live—to live in the present and to look forward to the future.”
“Time was a funny and fickle thing. Sometimes there was never enough of it, and other times it stretched out endlessly.”
“I think your father looks like he wants to take me hunting. Like a special, scary hunting trip where I'm the game.”
“I want to be there for you. Let me.”
“Cam used to hook up with her.”
“Ew.” I wrinkled up my nose. “And so did you?”
“Not at the same time.”
“God, I hope not.” When he chuckled again , I nudged him with my knee. “You do realize that means you’ve slept with Cam, right?”
“What? Fuck no.” In the dim light, he shrank back. “I told you it wasn’t—”
“He’s been in there. So have you. So by association, you two have had sex.”
“That is disgusting.”
I grinned. “What’s disgusting is that you’ve both been up in there and—”
“Can we not talk about this?”
“Baby, I’m all yours if you want me to be.”
“Jase rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. His warm breath danced over my lips. “I want to take you out on a date. I want to take you horseback riding. I want to tell your brother. I want to take you home to my parents and introduce you as my girlfriend. I want to prove this means more to me. I want to do this the right way.”
“What?” I shrieked and slapped his chest again…
“Ouch.” He rubbed the spot. “Does it disturb you that I’m kind of getting turned on right now?”
I shook my head. “Seriously?”
“Maybe?” he murmured, dipping his head and causing the ends sticking out from under the skullcap to sway. “I’m pretty erect right now to be honest.”
“Oh my God . . .” I rubbed my hand over my hot cheek…
”Want to smack me again? You could try my ass. I’ll probably like that.”
I stared at him.”
“I’ve never been more sorry in my life about anything.
… He dropped his forehead to mine and with a silky soft kiss, he gently parted my lips, working his velvety tongue against mine. “And I’m more than willing to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, because I love you, Tess. I am so fucking in love with you in a way I’ve never loved someone before.” His eyes glittered with hunger and love. “Please let me prove that to you. Please, Tess.”
“Things got out of hand. It happens.”
My brows flew up. “It happens? Often? Do you just walk around and happen to end up kissing girls? Do you slip and fall on girls’ mouths? If so, that’s got to be an awkward life to live.”
“Well . . .” The quirk to his lips was mischievous and teasing, but I was so not having it. He sighed. “Tess, you’re a beautiful girl and I’m a guy and—”
“Oh, shut up.”
His eyes widened.
“Don’t even finish what will most likely be the lamest sentence in the history of lame sentences. You’re attracted to me.”
“Yeah, okay, I might’ve overreacted, but it’s just because I care about you. You’re my sister and I’m supposed to act like a douche when it comes to guys you’re with.”
“You got that part down to a science,” Jase muttered.
Cam flipped him off.”
“I’ve tried staying away from you. I’ve tried ignoring how I feel about you, which isn’t how I should feel . But it’s like fighting a losing battle. And I don’t want to fight it anymore. I don’t want to ignore this.”
“So I’m sorry about that. And when I made the comment about you just wanting to get laid. I know that’s not what you want. You’re better than that and you deserve more than that. I know that doesn’t mean a lot, but it wasn’t the right way, and in the end, it was fucking pointless because here you are and I can’t stay away from you.”
“You…you are amazing, Tess.”
“No, I’m not. I just love you, Jace.”
“You don’t get it, Tess. I can’t have you.”
“But you do have me,” I whispered.”
“A drunk man's words were a sobber man's thoughts”
“I’m not sure I deserve you.”
“Telling me that you wanted to. Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad to hear that, but it makes me want to let you do it again. And for me to do it again. But I wouldn’t want to use just my tongue.” He pressed his forehead to mine, and I drew in a shaky breath at his closeness. “I’d start with that, but I’d want to use my hands and I wouldn’t stop there.”
“You . . . you don’t need all of this.” He turned thundercloud eyes on me. “You’re young and you have all your life ahead of you.”
“I never swallowed before. The idea of it wigged me out, but not with him. Apparently, it was my inner porn star.”
“You don't get it, Tess. I can't have you.”
“Death is part of the natural order of life,” she would explain. “You shouldn’t be scared of it. You should be respectful of it.”
“grão a grão o papa se enche de galinhas”
“I’ll wait for you. I’ll wait all the way to the altar if we make it that far.” Startled, her body went stiff and her breath hitched. Her beautiful brown eyes, glossy from a layer of unshed tears, stared up at me with both fear and hope. Vulnerable as she was in that moment, she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
“I’ve been waiting for you since the moment I put on the bracelet,” I said. “And you’re waiting for me, too.” I smirked at the question in her eyes. “Four years and you’ve never fallen for anyone else?
You’re not over me. You still want this as much as I do.”
“But my whole life has been a matter of fighting for one simple hour to do what I want to do. There was always something getting in the way of my getting to myself.”
“Winners don;t do different things, they do things differently.”
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