In a Holidaze

I've essentially handed my heart over to the person who's had it on reserve for half my life, and I'm terrified that he doesn't realize what he's holding.

The only person whose expectations you have to live up to is yourself.

It never occurred to me that you might be mine.

Maybe we should do things because we love them, not because we’ve always done them that way.

I was coming out here to ask why you were acting so weird, but I see I need to keep things present tense.

It’ll be okay. Things always look worse from the inside.

I ask the universe, simply: Can you show me what will make me happy?

I'm the human equivalent of a fart that clears the room.

I believe now that the universe delivers random acts of kindness, and it’s on us to decide what to do with them.

You've never been for me, Maisie. I never knew you were an option.

I’ve spent years not trusting my ability to make decisions and quietly letting life just happen to me. It can’t be a coincidence that the moment I stopped being passive and followed my instincts, everything seemed to fall into place. I know what makes me happy—trusting myself. What a gift, right? I found happiness.

Every single point on Earth's surface is the center of someone's universe... The center of my world is right where I'm standing.

It’s just hard to know which choice is right until it’s all over, I guess.

I laugh because this feels genuinely impossible. How does one move on from a man so kind of heart and fine of ass?

What am I doing with my life? Please. I want… I’m not even sure how to finish the sentence. I want to be happy, and I’m petrified that the path I’m on now is going to leave me bored and alone. So I ask the universe, simply: Can you show me what will make me happy?

There’s something so intimate about sharing things out loud you could never say to another person,” I say. “Letting someone really see you—minus the filters.

I’m always proud of you.” She wraps her hand around mine. “I trust you. The only person whose expectations you have to live up to is yourself.” . . . “I want you to find what makes you happy.

I shuffle over to the tree, sliding beneath it and lying on my back so I can look up through the gnarled branches. It's a kaleidoscope of color and texture: the smooth light bulbs, the prickly pine needles. Ornaments of glass, and silk, and spiky metallic stars. A little wooden drummer Theo gave Ricky nearly twenty years ago. Laminated paper ornaments of our handprints from preschool, handmade ceramic blobs that were supposed to be pigs, or cows, or dogs. Nothing matches; there's no theme. But there is so much love in this tree, so much history.

Andrew tasted like peppermint and chocolate, smells like the smoke from the wood in the fireplace, and feels like sunshine. If you put all my favorite things in a Willy Wonka machine, I'm pretty sure Andrew Hollis is the candy that would come out.

If I died today, what would be written about me?

Miles scoffs. "That wasn't a kiss." I immediately regret all those times I told my brother he's an idiot; very clearly he is a true seer with the emotional intelligence of Yoda. "Dude, it's fine," Theo growls. But we're in our own little bubble now. Andrew laughs quietly. "He's right. It wasn't really a kiss." Andrew. Kissed me. On the mouth. I shrug with feigned indifference. Keeping y voice low. "It was fine." "I promise you", he whispers, "my goal for our first kiss was not 'Fine." "Okay, well," I say, my heart showing itself up to my throat. "Try again" He quirks a brow, eyes darting down to my mouth and back up again.

His voice is quieter, but everything else has fallen away somehow, and I can hear him perfectly. "You've never been for me, Massie. I never knew you were an option." "What do you mean?" We hit a bump and veer to the left, and his fingers tighten my waist. When we straighten out, he doesn't let go; if anything, he tightens his grip, pulling closer and wrapping more of his arms around me. His fingers curl, brushing just under my jacket. His breath comes out warm against my neck, voice shaking: "It never occurred to me that you might be mine.

I've loved you since I knew what love was and I can't undo that. I would never wish to take that away. Loving you is all the proof I needed that love can last decades. Maybe even a lifetime, who knows.

How does one move on from a man so kind of heart and fine of ass?

You and I used to play vampires when we were kids and didn't realize the marks we were leaving on each other's necks were hickeys.

Listen,” I say, “if the universe wants to drop a cursed ring in my lap that I’m supposed to throw into a lava-filled mountain, I’m all for it. But right now this is all I’ve got.

Did I reveal my plans to overthrow the government and install Beyoncé in her rightful place as our fearless leader?

Can I say it now?, he asks, pulling back a few inches. "Say what?" "That I love you?

I am the human equivalent of a fart that clears a room.