“What if I don’t choose you, Kellan? What will you do?”
He looked away, a tear rolling down his cheek. “I’ll leave, Kiera. I’ll leave, and you and Denny can have your happily ever after.” He looked back at me. “You wouldn’t even need to tell him about me. Eventually, the two of you…” his voice broke and another tear fell on his cheek, “the two of you would get married, and have children, and have a great life.”
I fought back a sob. “And you? What happens to you in that scenario?”
“I…get by. And I miss you, every day,” he whispered.”
“I think in the end, you would have stayed with me, out of obligation...or maybe comfort. Maybe I was safe to you, and you needed to feel that. I know how scared you get of the unknown. To you...I must be kind of a security blanket. Do you see now, how that doesn't work for me? I don't want to be there, simply because the idea of me being gone is too...scary. I want to be someone's everything. I want fire and passion, and love that's returned, equally. I want to be someone's heart... Even if it means breaking my own.”
“If I'm yours and you're mine...then I will take you, wherever and whenever I can.”
“Do you really think anyone in this world, compares to you in my eyes?”
“He said I was his heart, and you don’t leave your heart behind. You can’t live without your heart.”
“I want to be someone's everything. I want fire and passion, and love that's returned, equally. I want to be someone's heart.”
“I don't know how to let you back in." My heart beat spiked and I closed my eyes when he whispered," I don't know how to keep you out either.”
“He spoke rapidly in-between his tender kisses. "I love you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. The women...I was so scared to touch you. You didn't want me...I couldn't take the pain. I tried to get over you. Every time with them, I was with you. I'm so sorry...I love you.”
“No time spent with you is wasted.”
“I need you. Let me do this. I can make you forget him. I can make you forget you.”
“It was heartfelt, it was heartbreaking. It was extreme joy, it was bone-crushing grief. It was fiery hot, it was icy-cold. It was true love sprouting... it was true love dying.
It's like we were both trying to hold onto something that was slipping through our fingers, and we didn't understand why.”
“I know there's something here. I know you want more. Tell me...and it's yours.”
“We were never innocent, Kiera. How naive are you? (Kellan)”
“I know...and I love you. But I don't think we love each other in the same way. And...I think keeping you near me, would destroy me.”
“He relaxed and looked at my lips and then my eyes and then back to my lips. “How do we do that? This is what we do…back and forth, back and forth. You want me, you want him. You love me, you love him. You like me, you hate me, you want me, you don’t want me, you love me…you leave me. There’s so much that went wrong before…”
“Can you lose something that was never yours to begin with?" - Keira”
“God, you're sucking all the fun out of our friendship.”
“His eyes were still closed and his body rocked gently to the music, but his face was almost...desolate. His words matched his face, as he sang about how each day was a struggle, and never seeing my face caused him physical pain. He sang that "my face was his light, and he felt drenched in darkness without it." Tears fell freely after I heard that line.”
“Obviously, I lied, Kiera!" he yelled back. "If you haven't noticed, I do that! And what does it matter anyway? She wanted me, you didn't. What do you care if I-"
"Because you're mine!" I yelled back at him, quite unintentionally. Of course, he wasn't actually mine ....
The immediate silence after that was deafening. Kellan's face paled and then slowly got very, very angry. "No, no I'm not! THAT'S THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT!”
“It's okay... it will be okay. You're just young. Your'e young and inexperienced, and Kellan is hotter than all fuck.”
“There were so many secrets between us now, it was hard remembering a time when things had been simple & easy, when it had felt like pure puppy love. I suppose all love eventually comes back down to earth.”
“I gently grabbed his face with my hands. "Don't leave me. You are mine...and I'm yours. I want you...and you can have me.”
“I’m in love with you,” he whispered, searching my eyes. He looked very pale and very scared, and a little…hopeful.”
“Our reconnection was intense and deeply emotional, like much of our relationship had been. He muttered things to me while we made love—how beautiful he thought I was, how much he’d missed me, how much he needed me, how empty he’d been, how much he loved me. I couldn’t even speak to tell him I felt the exact same way. I was too overcome by the emotion in his voice. Then he said something that tore me.
“Don’t leave…I don’t want to be alone.” He had actual tears in his eyes as he looked down on me. “I don’t want to be alone, anymore.” ~Kellan”
“I tried to do the right thing. Why couldn't you just let me leave?" (Kellan)”
“Between pants, I continued spewing how much I hated him. Around my lips, he kept telling me I didn't.”
“I’ve never wanted anyone, like I want you. Every girl is you to me. You’re all I see…you’re all I want.”
“Where do we go from here?"-Kiera
"We go nowhere."-Denny”
“Against the disease of writing one must take special precautions, since it is a dangerous and contagious disease.”
“Grom-gil-Gorm," she said softly as she rode between Laithlin and Yarvi. "Breaker of Swords." Mother Isriun's horse shied back out of her way. "Maker of Orphans." Thorn reined in beside him, his frowning face lit red by the blazing light of her elf-bangle, and she leaned from her saddle to whisper.
"Your death comes.”
“Finally, I'd like to thank my readers for staying with me all these years. I especially want to thank the ones who understand that the world isn't made up of happy endings, but messy, complicated, and untidy ones.”
“At night I dream of things I scoff at by day.”
“When those in power use shame to bully the weak into compliance, they are stealing from us. They tell us that they will expose our secrets (not good enough, not hardworking enough, not from the right family, made a huge mistake once) and will use the truth to exile us from our tribe. This shame, the shame that lives deep within each of us, is used as a threat. And when those in power use it, they take away part of our humanity.”
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