Thank You for Being Such a Pain: Spiritual Guidance for Dealing with Difficult People

Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive. C. S. LEWIS A

When external sources of power are sought in personal relationships to overcome inner feelings of powerlessness, power comes not from a place of strength but from a place of weakness. This can only lead to trouble. Using

A person should realize that conflict situations between oneself and others are nothing but the effects of conflict situations in one’s own soul. MARTIN BUBER Let

If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each person’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility. HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW If

So difficult people don’t just come into our lives randomly. We are drawn to them, or they are drawn to us, to help us learn our spiritual lessons. They appear in our lives because they have certain qualities that can help us on our spiritual journey. Difficult people have just what we need to help us overcome our character flaws. We

Wherever I turn, I am accosted with enticing advertisements. Highly paid and highly sophisticated ad agencies employ all their creative talents to influence my buying habits. I am exhorted to buy things I may not want and probably don’t need with the promise that I will be sexier or healthier or have more fun. There is no campaign with comparable volume that influences me to be kind and compassionate and loving, or to act in moderation, or to give generously to those in need. The loudest, most visible message I get every day from the society I live in is that I need to acquire to be happy. If I want to live my life according to a different, more spiritually based message, I have to seek that message out; it is almost imperceptible. So

and his presence, to always ask myself why people acted the way they did, and to look with compassion at the suffering that must invariably lie at the root of problem behaviors. I have found this invaluable in my subsequent dealings with other difficult people. My

If God’s justice could be recognized as just by human comprehension, it would not be divine. MARTIN LUTHER All