Enemies of the Heart: Breaking Free from the Four Emotions That Control You

Here’s a question every angry man and woman needs to consider: How long are you going to allow people you don’t even like — people who are no longer in your life, maybe even people who aren’t even alive anymore — to control your life? How long?

There is an appropriate way to use your story, not as an excuse but as a testimony to God's ability to free you from the past.

The root of anger is the perception that something has been taken. Something is owed you, and now a debt to debtor relationship has been established.

Peace is a fruit of the Spirit, not the byproduct of accumulated wealth.

It takes a habit to break a habit. You can pray every day for a generous heart, but until you start acting in that direction, nothing's going to change.

Greed is supported by an endless cast of what-ifs. Greedy people can never have enough to satisfy the need they feel in light of every conceivable eventuality.

Good excuses rarely collect dust. We use them, and use them, and use them.

Every arena of life intersects with what's going on in our hearts. Everything passes through on its way to wherever it's going. Everything.

Victims don’t want to be proactive about changing—they want to be proactive about making sure that the person who hurt them pays. And so we spend our energy telling our sad stories rather than taking responsibility for our behavior. Thus we open the door of our hearts and welcome in the Trojan horse of bitterness. And it stands there, a monument, a constant reminder of a debt someone has yet to pay. Somebody owes us.

Just as Jesus predicted, what originates in the secret place won't always remain a secret. ... How do we guard -- or maybe it would be more appropriate to say, guard against -- our hearts? How do we monitor what's going on in that secret place that has the potential to go public at any moment?

Giving is the way God chooses to change our hearts. As your heart changes, your attitude and feelings will follow suit. God loves a cheerful giver, but he’ll put your money to good use whether you’re cheerful or not. My advice: Give until you get cheerful. As I’ve said, our giving must impact our

Author has developed a routine of daily emotional debriefing with his kids as he tucks them in at night. To encourage the habit of keeping uncluttered, open heart, he starts with basic questions asking whether anyone has hurt them or made them angry to help them process at an age-appropriate depth. As they mature, he will add questions.

Theology isn't what drove them to their...theology." author writes on dealing with the embittering experience of those who protect a wounded place with abstract arguments.

Your pain isn’t a trophy to show off. It’s not a story to tell. It’s potentially poison to your soul. To refuse to forgive is to choose to self-destruct.

The people closest to you routinely catch the flak thrown off by the explosive stuff you normally work so hard to keep hidden.

Generous giving will break the grip of greed on your life. So whether or not you think you have extra, give and give generously. You’ve got to give to the point that it forces you to adjust your lifestyle. If you’re not willing to give to the point that it impacts your lifestyle, then according to Jesus you’re greedy. If you’re consuming to the point of having little or nothing left to give, you’re greedy. If you’re consuming and saving to the point that there’s little or nothing to give, you’re greedy. I know, that’s strong. Actually, it’s harsh. But it’s true.

Guilt is conquered with confession. Anger is conquered with forgiveness. Greed is conquered with generosity.

How do you pay your twenty-five-year-old son back for not being there for him from the time he was twelve? It can’t be done. I started the paragraph saying it’s an irony, but actually it’s a tragedy. It’s tragic because people spend much of their lives waiting for debts to be paid that cannot be paid. The opportunity to make things right is long gone, but the anger remains. And in many cases it intensifies … and spreads.

And just as a heart attack has the potential to destroy your body, so spiritual heart disease has the potential to destroy you and squeeze the life out of your most valuable relationships.

Your heart didn’t arrive at its present condition overnight. It won’t become healthy overnight either. You can’t overcome in an instant the effects of years of blockage caused by guilt, anger, greed, and jealousy. Adopting new habits of the heart is a process, but it’s a process that will yield some immediate results.

Christ paid a debt he didn’t owe and one we couldn’t pay. That kind of love should motivate us to pay those debts we can pay to those we do owe.

Once you've confessed to him that your root problem is that you're not getting your way and once you've completely thoroughly dumped your desires and anxiety on him you'll find it much easier to deal with the people in your life, regardless of whether they ever give you the recognition, love or credit you deserve, you'll find peace because you're no longer looking at these people to meet a need that only God can meet.

People with greed lodged in their heart fear that God either can’t or won’t take care of them. More to the point, they’re afraid that God won’t take care of them in the fashion or style in which they want to be cared for. And the gap between what they suspect God might be willing to do and what they want becomes a major source of anxiety. So greedy people shoulder the burden to acquire and maintain everything they need to provide the sense of security they desire.