Quotes from Bad Kitty

Michele Jaffe ·  268 pages

Rating: (4.4K votes)


“It's so nice to have sane friends.
I imagine.”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty


“Little Life Lesson 51: When selecting a member of a group to put on the Endangered Species List, it’s probably best not to pick the least popular person, because there is always a chance everyone will shrug and be like, "Um, okay. Hey, anyone want pizza?" and leave.”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty


“that arctic blast you're feeling? it's the chill coming off my cold shoulder”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty


“little life lesson 23: before making a snide comment about someone else's outfit, check to see if you're wearing knee boots with fringe. if you answer yes, drop it. just do.”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty


“i never thought of it before, but with your height and build, you are going to look SO CUTE in your straitjacket.”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty



“I didn't mean to interupt you if you were looking for your friends Miss--'
'Callihan,' but you can call my Jasmine. Or Jas.' Or Snookums. Honeybunch. Hotsie Totsie Cowgirl. My Little--
'It's nice to meet you Jasmine, I'm Jack.”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty


“Because after the haze of not being kissed cleared I was forced to face the facts that:
1. Jack was a very bad guy.
2. Jack had threatened Fred.
3. Just thinking that he was going to kiss me made me tingly everywhere
4. In a way no other guy had
5. And that was without our mouths even touching
6. Which meant that
7. If they did
8. Wooohoo baby!
9. Except that it did not matter
10. At all
11. Because he was plotting against fred
12. And I was complicit in whatever he planned if I didn't tell Mr. Curtis
13. And I was trapped in a boat with a woman singing showtunes.”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty


“For some reason my father saw no problem with us pplaying "barbie and ken go to hawaii to save their marriage by picking up another couple for sexy good times," but if barbie and ken had gone to hawaii to "rescue another couple from a crazed kidnapper," that would have been wrong.”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty


“favor de dejar un especimim em este copa para el doctor
what?
she told you to pee in a cup, i think that means get lost”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty


“talking to yourself again, jas?
yes, it beats talking to you.
oh, time machine back to first grade much?
only to visit your brain.”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty



“Which left me with the cheery knowledge that my father would wan tto spend time with me even if i were a cold, stiff corpse. not every daughter can say that, i bet!”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty


“Little Life Lesson 40: If you are lucky enough to vist the Fantasyland Diner, try to stay as long as possible because their desserts are no calorie, and also: the realy world sucks.”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty


“that was the plan?
part of it, you don't wan tot know the rest. i believe the word 'these dog colllars would make excellent restraints' were involved.
it was a brilliant idea. and we only got really cute well-made collars. this is my favorite. we had the tag engraved to say BUBBA.”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty


“ask yourself, what would babbi do?
waht
WWBD? You know, the famous line in the movie Bambi if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty


About the author

Michele Jaffe
Born place: Los Angeles, California, The United States
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Popular quotes

“Why doesn't he say something to her?
But I knew why. Because there's the creeping fear that these moments don't actually exist outside your own head. No eyes meet across a crowded room, no two people thing precisely the same thing, and if only one person actually has that moment, is it even really a moment at all?
We know this, so we say nothing. We avert our eyes, or pretend to be looking for change, we hope the other person will take the initiative, because we don't want to risk losing this feeling of excitement and possibilities and lust. It's too perfect. That little second of hope is worth something, possibly for ever, as we lie on out deathbeds, surrounded by our children, and our grandchildren and our great-grandchildren, and we can't help but quickly give on last selfish, dying thought to what could have happened if we'd actually said hello to that girl in the Uggs selling CDs outside Nando's seventy-four years earlier.”
― Danny Wallace, quote from Charlotte Street


“A wolf will growl to warn you that it's angry and a bull will paw the ground before charging. Rattlesnakes rattle, cats moan and hiss, and hyenas grunt and cackle. But a man will smile right in your face as he drives a knife into your heart.”
― Rachel Vincent, quote from Menagerie


“You've felt it, haven't you? Those feelings that seem to get so big in your chest, like something is so beautiful it aches?”
― Heather Anastasiu, quote from Glitch


“So, first, I want you to know that everybody experiences some level of anxiety. It's a normal human response to stress. It's like your body's smoke alarm. If there's a fire, you want to know so you can put it out or call 9-1-1, right?”

I shrug. “I guess. But it feels like my alarm is going off all the time.”

Doctor Ann nods. “Some people's systems are more sensitive than others'. For you, maybe all it takes is burning a piece of toast, and your alarm thinks the house is on fire.”
― Jeff Garvin, quote from Symptoms of Being Human


“I know we didn't get off to a good start. I know you hated me and I threatened you and provoked you, but we could start over. I wouldn't hurt you again. Sidhe, I swear I'd never hold a sword to your throat. I'd protect you. I'd make sure you never had to jump out another window and I'd...”
― Sandy Williams, quote from The Shadow Reader


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