“It's so nice to have sane friends.
I imagine.”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty
“Little Life Lesson 51: When selecting a member of a group to put on the Endangered Species List, it’s probably best not to pick the least popular person, because there is always a chance everyone will shrug and be like, "Um, okay. Hey, anyone want pizza?" and leave.”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty
“that arctic blast you're feeling? it's the chill coming off my cold shoulder”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty
“little life lesson 23: before making a snide comment about someone else's outfit, check to see if you're wearing knee boots with fringe. if you answer yes, drop it. just do.”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty
“i never thought of it before, but with your height and build, you are going to look SO CUTE in your straitjacket.”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty
“I didn't mean to interupt you if you were looking for your friends Miss--'
'Callihan,' but you can call my Jasmine. Or Jas.' Or Snookums. Honeybunch. Hotsie Totsie Cowgirl. My Little--
'It's nice to meet you Jasmine, I'm Jack.”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty
“Because after the haze of not being kissed cleared I was forced to face the facts that:
1. Jack was a very bad guy.
2. Jack had threatened Fred.
3. Just thinking that he was going to kiss me made me tingly everywhere
4. In a way no other guy had
5. And that was without our mouths even touching
6. Which meant that
7. If they did
8. Wooohoo baby!
9. Except that it did not matter
10. At all
11. Because he was plotting against fred
12. And I was complicit in whatever he planned if I didn't tell Mr. Curtis
13. And I was trapped in a boat with a woman singing showtunes.”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty
“For some reason my father saw no problem with us pplaying "barbie and ken go to hawaii to save their marriage by picking up another couple for sexy good times," but if barbie and ken had gone to hawaii to "rescue another couple from a crazed kidnapper," that would have been wrong.”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty
“favor de dejar un especimim em este copa para el doctor
what?
she told you to pee in a cup, i think that means get lost”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty
“talking to yourself again, jas?
yes, it beats talking to you.
oh, time machine back to first grade much?
only to visit your brain.”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty
“Which left me with the cheery knowledge that my father would wan tto spend time with me even if i were a cold, stiff corpse. not every daughter can say that, i bet!”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty
“Little Life Lesson 40: If you are lucky enough to vist the Fantasyland Diner, try to stay as long as possible because their desserts are no calorie, and also: the realy world sucks.”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty
“that was the plan?
part of it, you don't wan tot know the rest. i believe the word 'these dog colllars would make excellent restraints' were involved.
it was a brilliant idea. and we only got really cute well-made collars. this is my favorite. we had the tag engraved to say BUBBA.”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty
“ask yourself, what would babbi do?
waht
WWBD? You know, the famous line in the movie Bambi if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.”
― Michele Jaffe, quote from Bad Kitty
Michele Jaffe
Born place: Los Angeles, California, The United States
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“That’s what it comes down to.” Elizabeth worked the last few buttons together. She stopped to cough, but only for a moment. “He alone knows the number of our days, and until that moment, he always has a plan for us.”
― Karen Kingsbury, quote from Reunion
“Marrying cousins was astoundingly common into the nineteenth century, and nowhere is this better illustrated than with the Darwins and their cousins the Wedgwoods (of pottery fame). Charles married his first cousin Emma Wedgwood, daughter of his beloved Uncle Josiah. Darwin's sister Caroline, meanwhile, married Josiah Wedgwood III, Emma's brother and the Darwin siblings' joint first cousin. Another of Emma's brothers, Henry, married not a Darwin but a first cousin from another branch of his own Wedgwood family, adding another strand to the family's wondrously convoluted genetics. Finally, Charles Langton, who was not related to either family, first married Charlotte Wedgwood, another daughter of Josiah and cousin of Charles, and then upon Charlotte's death married Darwin's sister Emily, thus becoming, it seems, his sister-in-law's sister-in-law's husband and raising the possibility that any children of the union would be their own first cousins.”
― Bill Bryson, quote from At Home: A Short History of Private Life
“Surley, they couldn't be French?
He tried French anyway, 'Parlay buffon say?”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from The Long Earth
“Later, with time, we no longer need a shawl over our eyes or grass in our ears. The one playing the blind man simply turns his gaze inward, and the deaf one shuts his ears to all sounds”
― Ágota Kristóf, quote from The Notebook, The Proof, The Third Lie: Three Novels
“One must live as if it would be forever, and as if one might die each moment. Always both at once.”
― Mary Renault, quote from The Persian Boy
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