“And into the darkness, to his sleeping woman, he whispered, “You don’t know this, baby, but some men have dream women too.”
“We've hit the hot guy motherlode.”
“Truth, honesty, perseverance, strength, love of all kinds and forgiveness are all beautiful, Tack. The most beautiful stories ever told are the most difficult to take.”
“Baby,” his voice gentled, “this is me seein’ to that soft spot when I say quiet-like that I... will... be... there... in ten. And what I mean is, when I get there in ten, your ass better be there.”
Oh boy.
“Are you coming on your bike?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m in a tight, short, little aquamarine dress with high heels. I can’t get on a bike.
“You’re in a tight, short dress and high heels?” Tack asked.
“Yes.”
“I’ll be in there in five.”
“Oh," I whispered.
"Fuck, I'm not even close."
"To what?"
"The heart of you. You run so fuckin' deep, I'll never get there."
God.
"Lookin' forward to a lifetime of diggin', babe."
God!
"Now you're being sweet," I accused, my voice wobbly.
"Used to it yet?"
"No."
"You got a lifetime to get there too."
Seriously.
I could take no more.
"Shut up."
"I will, you kiss me."
"Rush and/or Tabby might be here any minute."
"I didn't tell you to go down on me.”
“Babe, advice. A man expresses his gratitude, you do not throw attitude. You kiss him and, maybe, suck his dick to show your appreciation.”
“You have no clue," he whispered.
"No clue about what?" I whispered back.
"What you handed me last night."
I took in a deep breath and asked softly, "What did I hand you, honey?"
"What's lyin' in that bed."
That was when I stopped breathing.
"I claimed it," he went on. "But last night you gave it to me. Gift's given, no takin' it back. You get that, Tyra?"
"I think so," I whispered.
"Get that, baby, it's important.”
“Tack grinned.
"You know," I started, "it's annoying when you grin all know-it-all."
"This isn't my know-it-all grin, Red. This is my I'm gonna get me some later grin."
I felt a couple of quivers that were on the high end of pleasant scale.
Still, I shared. "That's even more annoying."
"Don't know why since me gettin' some means you're gonna get some.”
“The perfect I was looking for wasn’t perfection. The perfect I was looking for was the one. And he was you.”
“Got it all scheduled,” he noted.
“Yes,” I returned.
“What’s a huge-ass wedding?”
“Don’t ask that,” I advised. “Just show up.”
His grin turned wicked and I liked it. That was, I liked it until he enquired, “You askin’ me to marry you, Red?”
I wasn’t even sipping coffee and, still, I chocked. Then I pushed out, “What?”
“I accept.”
I shook my head and kept shaking it when I requested clarification, “Let me get this straight. Did you just accept my non-marriage offer?”
“Non-marriage?”
“I didn’t ask!” My voice was rising.
“So you just wanna shack up?” he asked but didn’t wait on my answer. “I’m good with that too.”
Gah!
“I’m getting my huge-ass wedding,” I declared.
“So you are askin’ me to marry you,” he noted.
Gah! Gah! Gah!!
Sharp as a tack.
Someone kill me.”
“Darlin' you're the greediest piece of ass I've had in my bed in a long fuckin' time. I got a taste for greedy, you think I'm not gonna take it?”
“I can’t function around a man if I know his ability to give pleasure.”
“Not liking that," I clipped and his brows went up again.
"Are you shittin' me?"
"No!" I cried. "I deserve to be wooed!"
"Right, then I'll amend my statement. I'll woo you by gettin' you off as many times as I can with my mouth, fingers and cock, cookin' for you when I have time, not firin' your ass when you fuck shit up, which is often, and puttin' up with your bullshit. Bullshit like now when you're playin' even more games because you know I like it when you also know what you really wanna do is kiss me."
"Actually, handsome, I don't want to kiss you. I want to kick you."
His smile came back. "Bullshit games.”
“Bottom line, no one fucks with my woman.”
“Silence then, "Are you smashed?"
"Completely and totally."
"What are you wearing?"
"Who cares?"
"I do."
"Why?"
"'Cause you're smashed, you been with your girls, you somehow got riled up about somethin' and once I settle you down about whatever's aggravating you, I'm gonna rile you up a different way.”
“Day in, day out, you peel the layers back for me. Smart mouth, funny, sweet, wild in bed. Chattin' with bikers like they were insurance brokers. Holdin' my girl's hand, givin' her strength when her Mom's bein' a bitch. Keepin' your chin up when your people show in the middle of a full blown drama. But so fuckin' vulnerable, you're scared shitless of livin' life."
"You don't know me, Tack."
His head came up and his eyes pierced mine. "I know you, Tyra."
"You don't."
"Life's a roller coaster. Best damn ride in the park. You don't close your eyes, hold on and wait for it to be over, babe. You keep your eyes open, lift your hands straight up in the air and enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts.”
“I’m Chaos?”
“Was my dick just in you?”
I fought an annoyed growl and said, “Uh... yeah.”
“Then you’re Chaos.”
“I color your world."
I blinked and my heart stopped.
How did he....?
Oh crap! I told him!
Drunk, in the middle of great sex, I told him!
Ohmigod!
"I was right. You were asleep but you were dreamin'. You dream in black and white, babe. I gave you color. Now, you're awake."
"Tack --"
"You admitted it."
"Tack, please --"
"You were drunk, wet, hot and way the fuck turned on but you still admitted it."
I did and the way he was looking at me, his blue eyes drilling into mine, I couldn't deny it.
And also, it was true.
Damn.”
“I'm not going to work in a place where I can't eat donuts.”
“We done with this talk about everything?”
“Yes,” I answered.
“You good?” he asked.
Oh yes. I was good. I nodded but added another soft, “Yes.”
His hands slid down over my ass and he ordered, “Then hop up baby, Time to f**k.”
“(...)The ride is not over but if I can keep my Club together and find a sweet, feisty woman who's got my back and enough to her that she'll stay there, holding me up not dragging me down, I figure I'd find my way to beauty eventually. And I'd find absolution because I'd know, I earned the love of that woman, a woman who's got so much to her it'll take years to dig down and find the heart of her, that would be my reward."
Ohmigod.
Ohmigod!
Ohmigod!
Did he just say that?
Did. He. Just. Say that?
"And you told me," Tack continued, his face coming closer, "I had that when I first met you.”
“Babe, look at me.”
“Kiss my ass,” I replied.”
“No baby, I’m not scaring you. You’re just scared. You give me a little more, you’ll see I protect it. More, I’ll protect that too. More, I got that too. When you give it all to me, if it works with us in a way that lasts, you’ll never be scared. You’ll feel safe enough to have your eyes open, your arms up and you’ll enjoy the fuck outta the ride. I’ll see to that, Red, and that’s a promise.”
“Welcome to my nightmare,” Elvira muttered. “Though you got yourself a biker who fills his Levi’s so well he should be in Harley Davidson ads and has an off-the-charts ability to give pleasure so you can’t really understand my pain.”
“No, it was because Hawk, Brock and Mitch stormed that house at Tack’s side. This meant, to Tack, they were different kinds of brothers. Not of blood. Not of the cut. But that bond was unshakable all the same.”
“I left you sweet and smiling in this goddamed bed and I don’t see you or hear your voice for four days? Then I walk into your office and you give me attitude and tell me to kiss your ass because you’re in a pissy mood about some shit you refuse to share? No. You gotta know, darlin’, that shit don’t play with me.”
“My eyes narrowed and I snapped, “You’re not allowed to do that shift.”
His head jerked slightly and he asked, “Say again?”
“Be sweet and make me all melty and want to jump you when I ‘m celebrating my heretofore unknown badassness with a bunch of bikers and their bitches. Not to mention, I’m hungry.”
Tack grinned as his arm snaked around me and he yanked me close.
“You wanna jump me?” he asked.
“I always want to jump you,” I answered.
“Good to know,” he muttered.”
“I felt his forehead against mine, another swipe of his thumb to wipe the wetness away and I heard him whisper, "Baby, I can't keep up.”
“You been asleep, baby."
My body went still at his words.
Tack kept talking.
"Green tea. Yoga. No TV. Placemats for your coffee table. Thursday night takeaway. You got a night for takeaway. Scheduled. A narrow, little world. Fuck me. Crazy. Fuckin' whacked. I woke you up, opened your eyes to a bigger world and scared you shitless.”
“You came to a party, got drunk and got laid. Same as me. The minute you gave me more of you, I took it, wanted even more and I didn’t keep that a secret, babe, and you fuckin’ know it.”
“The Abbe de Saint-Pierre suggested an association of all the states of Europe to maintain perpetual peace among themselves. Is this association practicable, and supposing that it were established, would it be likely to last?”
“People reject what they do not understand because it makes them feel small. They would rather believe in some other reality, even if it is only an illusion, so long as it makes them feel bigger.”
“Self-affirm—build yourself up with honest and genuine praise.”
“Oh, what fun it was to vex him. He made it so easy to do. Hunting and fishing were all well and good, but truly, Jemmy-baiting had always been her favorite autumn sport. Lucy viewed his staid countenance as an unending challenge. A smooth, thick-shelled egg that begged to be cracked. Any rearrangement of his features constituted a victory, be it a wince, a scowl, or that rarest of expressions—a smile. A smile that showed teeth counted double. Last”
“At some point, it's time to stop fighting with death, my thighs and the way things are. And to realize that emotional eating in nothing but bolting from multiple versions of the above: the obsession will stop when the bolting stops. And at that point, we might answer, as spiritual teacher Catherine Ingram did, when someone asked how she allowed herself to tolerate deep sorrow, "I live among the brokenhearted. They allow it.”
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