Major Crush

I turned to the clarinets. They were a resourceful lot.

You think it hurts your feelings that girls talk about you behind your back, until they tell you to your face. And they each wanted a turn. Every time, it started with 'girlfriend' and ended with 'bitch.

Talking about your feelings helps you let go of your anger. And it takes a lot of energy to be angry all the time.

The Evil Twin was either Tracey or Casey Reardon. I wasn't sure which one, and no one else seemed to either. All we knew for sure was that the twins were evil. Or, one of them was evil and the other just looked the same.

If she can't stand the heat, she needs to stay out of the kitchen," Mr. Rush insisted. "Or you could air-condition the kitchen," I said. "Or at least install a fan to ventilate some of the fumes.

Mr. Rush said to Drew, "I think I see what the matter is. You were the youngest child. The irresponsible black sheep of the Morrow Mafia. Now, without warning, you're Jan Brady." "Who?" Drew asked. "The middle child from The Brady Bunch," I said. "The pretty one?" Drew asked. "No," Mr. Rush and I said together.

Mr. Rush slapped Drew on the back of the head. "You pay attention, Morrow. There'll be hell to pay if you hurt my drum major. I'll have Clayton Porridge out in the middle of the football field, doing the cancan." "The cancan is surprisingly difficult," Barry said. "It takes a lot more coordination than Clayton Porridge has." Mr. Rush gave Barry the brain-melting stare. Barry shrank. "I know this because I played Little League baseball with Clayton Porridge." Mr. Rush kept staring. "Sir," Barry added.

Well, let's say you heard a fight in the boys' bathroom, and you broke it up. What would you do naturally if you could solve it your way?" "I would run in the other direction. You really expect me to go in the boys' bathroom? Let them kill each other.