Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It

This day, I vow to myself to love myself, to treat myself as someone I love truly and deeply - in my thoughts, my actions, the choices I make, the experiences I have, each moment I am conscious, I make the decision I LOVE MYSELF.

This I know: the mind, left to itself, repeats the same stories, the same loops.  Mostly ones that don't serve us.  So what's practical, what's transformative, is to consciously choose a thought.  Then practice it again and again.  With emotion, with feeling, with acceptance.   Lay down the synaptic pathways until the mind starts playing it automatically.  Do this with enough intensity over time and the mind will have no choice.  That's how it operates.  Where do you think your original loops came from?

As you love yourself, life loves you back.  I don't think it has a choice either.  I can't explain how it works, but I know it to be true.

The key, at least for me, has been to let go.  Let go of the ego, let go of attachments, let go of who I think I should be, who others think I should be.  And as I do that, the real me emerges, far far better than the Kamal I projected to the world.  There is a strength in this vulnerability that cannot be described, only experienced.

If I loved myself truly and deeply, would I let myself experience this?

Here we are, thinking that one needs to be in love with another to shine, to feel free and shout from the rooftops, but the most important person, the most important relationship we'll ever have is waiting, is craving to be loved truly and deeply.

So I return to the question, "if I loved myself, truly and deeply, what would I do?"  The answer comes easy: I'd fly.  Fly as high as I possibly can.  Then, I'd fly higher.

The truth is to love yourself with the same intensity you would use to pull yourself up if you were hanging off a cliff with your fingers.

I sit with my back against a wall, put on my headphones, listen to the music, and imagine galaxies and stars and the Universe above, and I imagine all the light from space flowing into my head and down into my body, going wherever it needs to go.

It's easy to wish for health when you're sick.  When you're doing well, you need just as much vigilance.

once heard someone explain thoughts as this: we, as human beings, think that we're thinking.  Not true.  Most of the time, we're remembering.  We're re-living memories.  We're running familiar patterns and loops in our head.  For happiness, for procrastination, for sadness.  Fears, hopes, dreams, desires.  We have loops for everything.

Darkness is the absence of light.

What if you don't believe that you love yourself?  Doesn't matter.  Your role is to lay down the pathways, brick upon brick, reinforce the connections between the neurons.  The mind already has a strong wiring for love.  The body knows it as well.  It knows that love nurtures, that love is gentle, that love is accepting.  It knows that love heals.

If you had a thought once, it has no power over you.  Repeat it again and again, especially with emotional intensity, feeling it, and over time, you're creating the grooves, the mental river.  Then it controls you.

But I can't erase the past, only learn from it.  It's ok.  Applying what I know makes the present and the future a beautiful place to be.

So, these tools, like light switches, exist.  When fear arises, remember that it is a hallucinated snake or that it's not useful or that it's not real.  All three work.  There's many more, ones we can come up with ourselves, if we wish.  As long as it works, it's valid. Key is this, when in darkness, have a light switch you've chosen standing by.

Fighting fear doesn't work.  It just drags us in closer.  One has to focus on what is real.  On the truth.  When in darkness, don't fight it.  You can't win.  Just find the nearest switch, turn on the light.    James Altucher, in one of his best blog posts, talks about how he stops negative thoughts in their tracks with a simple mind trick.  "Not useful," he tells himself.  It's a switch, a breaker of sorts, shifts the pattern of the fear.

Keep in mind, Bandler once cured a guy who thought he was Jesus by bringing in three muscular football players dressed as Roman Centurions and wood for a life-size cross into his hospital room.  Then, he proceeded to nail the cross together, pausing occasionally to measure the guy as the Centurions held him down.  By the time they were ready for the crucifixion, the man was convinced he wasn't Jesus.  Even after the drama had passed, the cure stuck.

If a painful memory arises, don't fight it or try to push it away - you're in quicksand.  Struggle reinforces pain.  Instead, go to love.  Love for yourself.  Feel it.  If you have to fake it, fine.  It'll become real eventually.  Feel the love for yourself as the memory ebbs and flows.  That will take the power away.

Fear, when used properly, is a useful tool.  It serves us well when near a blazing inferno or standing at the edge of a cliff.  But outside of this, it's hijacked the mind.  To the point where it's difficult to distinguish the mind and our thoughts from fear itself.

Often, the price for not being present is pain. Now,

As a wise friend likes to remind me, this is a practice.  You don't go to the gym once and consider yourself done.  Same here.  Meditation is a practice.  Working out is a practice.  Loving yourself, perhaps the most important of all, is a practice.

But in simplicity lies truth.  In simplicity lies power.

That’s the thing about loving yourself, you start to tolerate less what doesn’t serve you—especially from yourself. This alone changes your life.

As human beings, we crave light. We find sunrises and sunsets and bright moon beautiful and calming.

when in darkness, have a light switch you've chosen standing by.