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Love for Imperfect Things: How to Accept Yourself in a World Striving for Perfection

by Haemin Sunim · 2016

A #1 internationally bestselling book of spiritual wisdom about learning to love ourselves, with all our imperfections, by the Buddhist author of The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down. When you care for yourself… more

29 quotes ★ 4.20 (16,531) Nonfiction

Quotes from the Book

Do not think of yourself as a crescent moon, waiting for someone else to fill in the missing part of you. When you stand alone like a full moon, already complete in yourself, you will meet another person who is whole and complete just like you, and between you two, a healthy relationship can grow. Do not try and fit yourselves to each other to make one whole moon. Instead, be more like two full moons. You’ll respect each other’s individuality and interests while creating a relationship in which each of you shines brightly on the other
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When we become kinder to ourselves, we can become kinder to the world.
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Because I have experienced pain, I am able to embrace the pain of others. Because I have made mistakes, I am able to forgive others their mistakes. May my suffering become the seed of compassion
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Who is an unfortunate person? One who looks at other people and sees only their flaws.
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There is a saying in Korea: “Lengthy deliberation often leads to a terrible decision.” If you think and worry too much before doing something, “your boat goes to the mountain instead of the ocean.
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It’s okay that you have flaws. How could our lives be as clean and white as a blank sheet of paper? Life naturally takes its toll on our bodies, our minds, and our relationships. rather than choosing a life in which you do nothing for fear of making a mistake, choose a life that improves through failure and pain. And shout out loud to your struggling self, I love you so much
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The reason we think we are better than others is that inferiority still lurks within us. A sense of superiority exists because of a sense of inferiority.
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When you care for yourself first, the world will also find you worthy of care.
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Thinking too much can make it difficult to act. If you just do it, then it is done. But if you give in to your thinking, your mind will get in the way, telling you “you can’t,” “you shouldn’t,” “you don’t want to.” In that case, get up early the next morning and just do the thing you’ve been putting off. If you give yourself time to start thinking about it, inaction will take hold again.
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Listening openly, patiently, and attentively is one of the most significant expressions of love.
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If you love someone: embrace him, like the Holy Mother embraces Her one and only Son. Listen attentively, like there is no one else but him in the whole universe. Look into his eyes, like a soul trying to communicate after losing a language. Dance together, like tomorrow is your final day on earth
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Don’t judge people based on how they appear, as they may have difficulties that nobody can see.
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And yet, even though we find many such imperfect things in the world we live in, we cannot help but love them. Because our lives are far too precious to be spent in ridicule and hatred of what doesn’t appeal to us, of what we do not understand.
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But the truth is, you are already worthy of being loved. You don’t need to be convinced of your self-worth by taking on society’s demands and living up to its expectations. You already are a precious being and deserve to be loved and cared for.
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Instead of postponing your happiness until you’ve achieved your goal, live a little and enjoy the moment. Life is passing you by while you are waiting.
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Don’t assume another bus will be coming. Sometimes the route will have changed, and you will never get another chance to catch the bus you missed. If an opportunity is presented to you, don’t give in to your fear. Muster your courage and get on that bus.
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How would you feel if you were told you were wrong just for being different?
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Love is the state of not knowing, and of wanting to know more.
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Even if you have everything you’ve ever wanted, you won’t be happy if you’re always striving for more or better. Happiness comes when our hearts are peaceful and content, and when we learn to appreciate what we already have.
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When you feel bad, don’t struggle with the feeling. If you struggle to control it, you can make it worse. However hard you might wish your feelings away, they will stay for as long as they need to. When you allow them to be there and watch them, they usually leave earlier than you expected.
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Perhaps there is no such thing as a “soul mate.” When you work hard to make your relationship work and stay together for a long time, then you each become the person you were meant to be with.
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The good heart that prays for the end of others suffering ends its own suffering with such prayers. Send out your blessings to family, friends, colleagues, strangers on the street. A saint acts compassionately not because she is a saint. Rather, her compassionate acts make her a saint.
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Our True self can never be lost, even for a single moment. Just like the present can never be lost- it is always here and now, wether or not we pay attention to it
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May you find the eye of compassion within you!
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Don’t think you are lovable only when you succeed at what the world demands. You are already worthy of love.
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In India, “Namaste” is a common greeting, like “Hello.” But there is a beautiful meaning to “Namaste.” It means, “The divine being within me bows to the divine being within you.” We are much greater and more sacred than we think.
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When I feel compelled to interfere in someone else’s business, I try to ask myself, “Am I concentrating on the task I have been given?” When my meditation practice is going well, I am too busy looking within myself to bother with other people’s affairs. But when I cannot concentrate on my meditation practice, my mind starts to wander and notice the faults in others. And I soon see they are my own faults reflected back at me. No one has asked me to focus my attention there. In moments like this, I recall my original intention of being a monk and return to my practice.
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Underneath someone’s violent nature, there is always fear, rooted in either childhood or present circumstances. Underneath that fear lurks hurt and vulnerability. If you really want to forgive someone, look beneath the surface and see what is there.
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When you feel disappointed, and you see it’s because you expected something from someone else, consider why it is that you often rely on others to make you happy. Why is your self-reliance so low? Does it maybe relate to how you were brought up, or to a past trauma? Do you have a strong need for approval or attention from others? If you often feel disappointed in yourself, ask why you hold yourself to such a high standard. Are your expectations reasonable? When you understand yourself better, you might find it easier to deal with disappointment, and to accept and love yourself.
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About Haemin Sunim

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About the book

A #1 internationally bestselling book of spiritual wisdom about learning to love ourselves, with all our imperfections, by the Buddhist author of The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down.

When you care for yourself first, the world begins to find you worthy of care.

No one is perfect, but that shouldn't hold us back from love--for the world, for one another, or even for ourselves. In this beautifully illustrated guide, Buddhist teacher Haemin Sunim (whose name means "spontaneous wisdom") draws on examples from his own life and on his years of helping others to introduce us to the art of self-care. When we treat ourselves with compassion, empathy, and forgiveness, we learn to treat others the same way, allowing us to connect with people on a deeper level, bounce back from failure, deal with feeling hurt or depressed, listen more attentively, express ourselves more clearly, and

Book details

First published
2016
Goodreads rating
4.20 (17k ratings)

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