Gone

Hey Cabe?" she says, drying her hair, feeling refreshed. Grinning. Putting all thoughts but one aside for the moment. "You wanna go get Jimmy a raincoat and we'll take care of you?" Cabel looks at her. Turns his head and narrows his eyes. Who the hell is Jimmy?

Because with the right person, sometimes kissing feels like healing.

There's just no happily ever after in Janie's book. But they both know there is something. Something good between them. There is respect. And there is depth. Unslefishness. An understanding between them that surpasses a hell of a lot else. And there's that love thing.

I lurve you, circus freak," Cabel says. It almost hurts to hear him say that. I lurve you, too, you big lumpy monster man," Janie says. That hurts even more to say.

Cabel regards Janie and sighs. 'I know you can handle it, Janie. You're such a damn martyr. It's tiring, really, having this same argument with you every time you've got shit happening. Just let it go. I'm not leaving.' He smiles faux-diplomatically.

Janie imagines a life without people. Without him. Broken heart, loneliness, but able to see, to feel. To live. To be, in peace. Not always looking over her shoulder for the next dream attack. And she imagines life with him. Blind, gnarled, but loved... at least while things are still good. And always knowing what struggles he's dealing with through his dreams. Does she really want to see that, as years go by? Does she really want to be this incredible burden to such an awesome guy? She still doesn't know which scenario wins. But she's thinking. Maybe broken hearts can mend more easily than broken hands and eyes.

No rash decisions. No big commitments. Each day as it comes.

What did your mom say?" "She said I better not be pregnant." Janie snorts. "What the hell is wrong with our parents, anyway? Wait -- you're not, are you?" "Of course not! Sheesh, Janers! I may not have gotten the best grades in school, but I'm not stupid. You know I'm on the Pill. And his Jimmy doesn't get near me without a raincoat, yadamean? Ain't nothin' getting through my little fortress!

So what, then? Pete? Clyde?" Cabel rolls over, pretending to sleep. "It's Fred, isn't it?" "Janie. Stop." "You named your thing Janie?" She giggles. Cabel groans deeply. "Go to sleep.

Cabel flicks his fingers at her, spraying her with water. Grinning. "Sure. I think I'm pretty lucky. I bet blind people have great sex. I'll even wear a blindfold so it's fair." He bumps his hips lightly against hers.

Are you actually laughing at me? Seriously?" Janie rubs her hair with a towel. "I almost died out there. Plus my brain is now infested with plankton and carp shit. You'd better watch it, or I'll blow a snot rocket at you." "I'm . . . eww. That's disgusting." Cabe laughs. "But seriously, you really should have seen yourself. Right, Megan? I wish I had a video camera.

In the cool dark basement, she whispers, "It's not Ralph, is it?" Cabel's quiet for a moment, as if he's thinking, "You mean like Forever Ralph? Uh, no." "You've read Forever?" Janie is incredulous. "There wasn't much else to chose from on the hospital library cart, and Deenie was always checked out," Cable says sarcastically. "Did you like it?" Cabel laughs softly, "Um...well, it wasn't the wisest thing to read for a fourteen-year-old guy with fresh skin grafts in the general area down there, if you know what I mean.

Simplemente no hay ningún felices para siempre en el libro de Janie. Pero ambos saben que hay algo. Algo bueno entre ellos. Hay respeto. Y hay profundidad. Desinterés. Un entendimiento entre ellos que supera un infierno de todo lo demás. Y está ese asunto del amor. Así que deciden. Resuelven decidir cada día en que las cosas llegarán. Sin obligaciones. Sin grandes planes. Sólo la vida, cada día. Haciendo progresos. Cortando la presión. Y si funciona, funciona. Ella sabe algo, muy profundo. Lo sabe con fuerza. Y es algo bueno. Él es el único chico al que ella se lo dirá.