“You’re mine, the girls are mine. I’m stakin’ my claim with you right now and, you force it, I’ll do it with him too.”
“Nothing can fill you up,” she stated.
“Nope,” he agreed again.
“You won’t let it.”
“Barrel’s got a hole in the bottom, buddy, everything leaks out no matter how much you pour in.”
She was silent a moment then she whispered, “Right.”
She turned to the door and his hand gripped his bourbon so hard he had to focus everything on loosening his grip or the glass would shatter.
Before she opened it, she turned back. “You don’t know, Cal, you have no idea.
You’ve shut yourself up for so long in this fucking house with your tragic memories, you have no idea what’s about to walk out your door. Kate, Keira and me, we could have plugged that hole. We could have filled you so full, you’d be bursting. We would have loved that chance. We’d have given it everything we had, no matter the time that slid by, graduations, weddings, grandbabies, you’d have been a part of us and we’d have given everything we had to keep you
so full, you’d be bursting.”
Cal didn’t reply.
“Joe,” she whispered, “you let me walk out this door, you’ll lose your chance.”
Cal didn’t move.
Vi waited.
Cal stayed seated.”
“Yeah, you lose this attitude, I can help you work that hurt out.”
Who was this man? He held onto his tragedy for seventeen fucking years, how could he stand there and tell me
he could help me work through mine?
“Really, Joe? Like you helped me work out my grief at losing Tim?” I asked sarcastically.
“That’s not what I was offerin’, buddy, but you want it like that I’ll give it to you.”
“You’re unbelievable,” I snapped.
“I’m yours.”
That socked me in the gut too, so hard it winded me and all I could do was stare up at him.
Taking advantage, his face dipped close and his hands curled around both sides of my head.
“First fuckin’ time you smiled at me in my bed, that’s when it happened,” he murmured.”
“Fuck,” he muttered.
…
“Language in front of the girls,” I snapped.
“Baby, they hear it all the time,” he returned and I felt my eyes get wide in motherly affront.
Cal looked at my face then over the seat to the girls and asked, “You gonna say fuck because I say fuck?”
“No,” Kate answered immediately.
“No, ‘cause Mom doesn’t like it,” Keira replied waspishly.
Cal looked back at me and raised his brows.”
“You talk about Cal, you look like a woman who's talkin' about the man she needs to breathe.”
“Not worth it," Cheryl decreed, "been there, done that, got the fuckin' t-shirt and it didn't fit so I threw the motherfucker out.”
“Told her she needs to look at her Mom and learn. You had three men in your life, all of 'em willin' to hand you the world. She should accept nothin' less.”
“Yeah, Vi, unless Armageddon hit while i was fuckin' you this morning and we missed it, I'm thinkin' grocery stores still exist and they're all still stocked.”
“Never bury something deep, baby. Takes twice as much courage to be who you are, say what you think, feel what you feel and let it show then it does to bury it.”
“You’re unbelievable,” I snapped.
“I’m yours.”
That socked me in the gut too, so hard it winded me and all I could do was stare up at him. Taking advantage, his face dipped close and his hands curled around both sides of my head.
“First fuckin’ time you smiled at me in my bed, that’s when it happened,” he murmured. “You’re under my skin. I’m under yours.”
I shook my head and his face got even closer, all I could see were his sky blue eyes, all I could feel were his lips a breath away from mine.
“I like you there, buddy, and you like me there too.”
“Violet, there a reason Joe Callahan is lookin' at me like he wants to rip my head off?”
“It was a shit time for you, the worst, but you were there and you saw 'em doin' it. They crawled into this same fuckin' bed with me, so did you, and when you did, you all became mine.”
“We’re all lost, Mike. The best chance we got is to wander this life with the people who matter.”
“I closed my eyes, sucked in breath and felt like a slut.
This was mainly because I was acting like one.”
“I hope she doesn't break up with Dane. He's the hottest guy in school and he's nice. That means you both have the hottest, nicest guys in school and in town. This means good things for my future because I'm up next.”
“Seventeen years, no longer...I've been waiting for you, for those girls. You're here, I'm letting go of my shit, finally, fucking moving on from all of that, moving on to something good in my life, something to wake up and get outta bed for. I'm not leaving it cause of some hang up you have. You and me, I haven't made it easy, I'll admit that, but that's done. You gotta get over it or you're never gonna move on.”
“Worth the wait," Joe muttered and my head tipped back.
"What?"
"Every bit of it. Every day, every week, every year, every fuckin' second, buddy," he kept muttering, his eyes intense, his face serious and my breath caught, "this. All of it. Worth the wait.”
“The girls were there, her friends, her parents and he didn’t give a fuck. He dipped in closer and kissed her lightly on the lips.”
“I'm gonna piss you off, honey, probably enough for you to want to leave. I've got a temper and so do you, we're gonna clash. It won't feel good, it'll feel not worth it sometimes but, you leave me, I'll wait for you to come back. And you'll come back because, something we've both learned, this, what we have is worth getting over it. Whatever it is that ticks us off of holds us back, we know it's worth fighting for.”
“I had the world sleepin’ on my chest,” he replied, his voice low, thick. I looked at the photo. “Funny how the world can fit in your arm.”
“He needs Mom and us more than we need him. He needs a family. He's over there, all by himself, he has nobody. We have each other." She looked at me and stated, "He needs somebody. I can tell.”
“You're cool Joe" she told him, her voice weighty, as if she was bestowing a grave honor on him even though a blind person could sense his utter coolness.”
“there, “You already think I’m a dick.” I felt my heart beat faster and I whispered, “Joe –” Joe cut me off. “So, don’t matter tomorrow morning you still think I’m a dick, ‘cause now, even though you’re drunk, I’m gonna take you inside and fuck you ‘til you ache.”
“Joe,” I whispered. “What’s on your mind?”
Did booty call partners care what was on their booty call’s mind?”
“You don't know, Cal, you have no idea. You've shut yourself up for so long in this fucking house with your tragic memories, you have no idea what's about to walk out your door. Kate, Keira and me, we could have plugged that hole. We could have filled you so full,you'd be bursting. We would have loved that chance. We'd have given it everything we had.”
“I didn't exactly give you a choice, seein' as you were playing games, fuckin' another guy and I needed to stake me claim. I did, I'm here, I'm stayin'.”
“I have my own stalker, Joe. I don’t want to have to deal with yours.”
“He needs Mom and us more than we need him. He needs a family. He’s over there, all by himself, he has nobody. We have each other.”
“You think it’s something in the water or is she just touched?” “She’s just touched,”
“I say Gibson, we're old friends, and you're a fool if you take anything I say as an offense. Madam your wife and I didn't hit it off the only time I ever saw her. I won't say she was silly, but I think one of us was silly, and it wasn't me!”
“Memory in these incomparable streets, in mosaics of pain and sweetness, was clear to me now, a unity at last. I remembered small and unimportant things from the past: the whispers of roommates during thunderstorms, the smell of brass polish on my fingertips, the first swim at Folly Beach in April, lightning over the Atlantic, shelling oysters at Bowen's Island during a rare Carolina snowstorm, pigeons strutting across the graveyard at St. Philip's, lawyers moving out of their offices to lunch on Broad Street, the darkness of reveille on cold winter mornings, regattas, the flash of bagpipers' tartans passing in review, blue herons on the marshes, the pressure of the chinstrap on my shako, brotherhood, shad roe at Henry's, camellias floating above water in a porcelain bowl, the scowl of Mark Santoro, and brotherhood again.”
“I love you with all that passes for my heart. I suspect that kind of all-out love becomes a burden to a woman in time, but it's the only kind I have to give.”
“There is some pain that nothing heals" [Zarek}”
“Suze, your whole life," my dad went on, not without sympathy, "you've always made the right decisions. Not necessarily the easiest ones. The right ones. Don't mess that up now, when you're facing what's probably the most important decision you'll ever have to make.”
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