“Love is not the absence of logic
but logic examined and recalculated
heated and curved to fit
inside the contours of the heart”
“Choosing to be with you, isn't a difficult decision, Jacqueline...It's easy. Incredibly easy.”
“I wanted to tell you that I just--I miss you. And maybe that sounds ridiculous--like we barely know each other, but between the emails and texts and... everything else, I felt like we did. Like we do. and I miss--I don't know how else to say it--I miss both of you.”
“You're full of contradictions, Ms. Wallace."
I looked up at him and arched a brow. "I'm a girl. That's part of the job description, Mr. Maxfield.”
“The truth was, he now belonged only to my past, and it was time I begin to accept it, as much as it hurt to do so.”
“The night we met—I'm not like that guy." His jaw was rigid.
"I know tha—" He placed a finger over my lips, his expression softening.
"So I don't want you to feel pressured. Or overpowered. But I do, absolutely, want to kiss you right now. Badly.”
“Unfortunately, the coughing drew her attention. "Are you dying or something?" she asked, affecting a perfect sneer as I shook my head. "Well, hacking up a lung out in public isn't all that attractive--just sayin'."
My face flamed, but then Benji leaned up and spoke around me. "Um, giving half the class an exhaustive summary every Monday morning--in lurid detail--of how much of an alcoholic skank you are? Isn't all that attractive either. Just sayin'.”
“As for being somewhere you're not supposed to be--Maybe you're here for a reason, or there is no reason.”
“People rarely said what they thought, or revealed how they felt. No one was honest.”
“If someone had asked, "How does this compare to kissing Kennedy?" I would have answered, "Who?”
“Lucas: I wanted to talk to you after class, but you disappeared.
Me: I have another class right after. One of those profs who stops talking, stares at you and waits until you get to your seat if you're late.
Lucas: I would probably just walk to my seat even slower. ;)”
“He stuck the pencil over his ear, looking unconvinced. "Mmm. What position would you be the most comfortable for you?"
I couldn't say aloud the answers that popped into my head at that question, but the flush that spread across my face like wildfire gave me away. He caught his lower lip in his teeth, and I was sure it was to contain a laugh. Most comfortable position? What about with my head stuck under a pillow?”
“sometimes, how a situation is perceived carries more weight than the reality of the matter.”
“Bonus: I now knew what Erin meant by lickable abs.”
“Sisters in solidarity and all that shit.”
“Ugh! Erin. You have a one-track mind."
She smiled deviously. "I prefer to think of it as target-driven.”
“His earlier hesitation gone, he removed the last scraps of fabric we were wearing, fixed the condom in place, kissed me fiercely and rocked into me.
Had this been Kennedy, it would have been over in a few minutes.
My last coherent thought, as Lucas took his time kissing and touching every part of me he could reach and my body arched into his, was Oh... so this is what all the fuss is about.”
“I took a breath and blurted everything out before I was too chickenshit to say any of it. “I wanted to tell you that I just—I miss you. And maybe
that sounds ridiculous—like we barely know each other, but between the emails and texts and… everything else, I felt like we did. Like we do. And I
miss—I don’t know how else to say it—I miss both of you.”
He swallowed, closing his eyes and inhaling slowly. I knew he would be all rational and do-the-right-thing and he would push me away again,
and I was determined not to give him that chance. But then his eyes flashed open and he said, “Fuck it,” pushing me against the door, slamming his
forearms on either side of my head and kissing me more forcefully than I’d ever been kissed”
“He brushed my tears from my face. "How did I find you?”
“I noticed you the first week. Not just because of how pretty you are, though of course, that played into it. It was the way you lean onto your elbows when you 're listening in class, when something catches your interest. And when you laugh, it's never to get attention, it's just-laughter. The way you obssevively tuck your hair behind your ear on the left side, but let the right side fall down like a screen. And when you 're bored, you tap your foot soundlessly and move your fingers on the desktop like you 're playing an instrument. I wanted to sketch you.”
“We talked--recent history only--and Lucas relayed the story of how Francis came to be his roommate. "He showed up at the door one night, demanding to be let in. Napped on the sofa for an hour, then demanded to be let out. It turned into a nightly ritual, with him staying longer and longer, until at some point I realized he'd moved in. He's basically the most brazen squatter ever.”
“His hands reached for me, gripping my hipbones and pulling me forward. he stared down at me, his voice low. "There are some things I will make time for, Jacqueline.”
“Please touch me. I need you to touch me.”
“What I can't do anywhere is be with you.”
“Choosing to be with you isn't a difficult decision, Jacqueline," he breathed, pulling back one final time to stare into my eyes. "It's easy. Incredibly easy.”
“His jaw clenched. "Okay, so I guess trying to let you down easy was a bad idea--"
"This is your idea of letting me down easy? Breaking up with me so you can screw other girls? Without feeling guilty? Are you serious?"
"As a heart attack."
The last thing I thought before I picked up my econ textbook and hurled it at him: How can he use such a piece-of-shit cliche in a moment like this?”
“The way he kissed me felt like a brand. Like he was tattooing himself under my skin.”
“A word of advice, though. This won't be the last time you have to deal with something in life that throws you off your game. In future courses, as well as in the real world--such as it is--professors and employers won't always be accommodating. We all have to--what's my daughter's terminology--suck it up and deal?”
“So when do we get to the junk-kicking?”
“He took one of my hands in his, and I brought the other to his face, wondering how his eyes could look like chipped ice and still warm me to my core.”
“loving someone meant knowing your life will be worse without them in it.”
“I want a girl because I want to bring her up so that she shan't make the mistakes I've made. When I look back upon the girl I was I hate myself. But I never had a chance. I'm going to bring up my daughter so that she's free and can stand on her own feet. I´m not going to bring a child into the world, and love her, and bring her up, just so that some man may want to sleep with her so much that he's willing to provide her with board and lodging for the rest of her life.”
“Weightless (in air), alcohol units 8 (but in-flight so canceled out by altitude), cigarettes 0 (desperate: no-smoking seat), calories 1 million (entirely made up of things would never have dreamt of putting in self's mouth were they not on in-flight tray), farts from traveling companion 38 (so far), variations in fart aroma 0.”
“What a torment it is not to be rich! It gets one into such abject situations.”
“Although 'jumping to conclusions' is an expression, rather than an activity, it is as dangerous as jumping off a cliff, jumping in front of a moving train, and jumping for joy. If you jump off a cliff, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful landing unless there is something below you to cushion your fall, such as a body of water or an immense pile of tissue paper, If you jump in front of moving train, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful voyage unless you are wearing some sort of train-proof suit. And if you jump for joy, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful bump on the head, unless you make sure you are standing someplace with very high ceilings, which joyous people rarely do. Clearly, the solution to anything involving jumping is either to make sure you are jumping to a safe place, or not jumping at all.
But it is hard not to jump at all when you are jumping to conclusions, and it is impossible to make sure that you are jumping to a safe place, because all 'jumping to conclusions' means is that you are believing something is true even though you don't actually know whether it is or not.”
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