“There's something about a guy who admits he's a jerk that makes him forgiveable.”
“She gets to school late. Bashful gives her a tardy, and won't reconsider.
Janie always hated Bashful.
Stupidest. Dwarf. Ever.”
“Janies lips part in surprise. She takes it. Feels really strange about opening it in front of him. She wets her lips and examines the box and the ribbon that surounds it. "Thank you." She says softly. "Um..." He clears his throat, "The gift, see is actually inside the box. The box is like an extra bonus gift.It's how we do things here on planet Earth.”
“Cabel smiles and hangs up. "Guess what."
What," Janie says.
We can go out on our first date."
Woo hoo!"
And guess what else- You're buying."
Me? Why?"
Because you lost the bet."
Janie thinks for a moment. Punches Cabel in the arm. "You did not fail five quizzes or tests!"
I did. I have proof.”
“I've got a huge, terrible problem."
Oh no! Not that horrible toenail fungus that takes six months to cure?"
No, no, no. Much worse. This is shocking news. Are you sure I should tell you while you're driving?"
I've got my headset on. Both hands on the wheel. Windows rolled up. Go for it."
Okay, here goes...Principal Abernethy called me this morning to let me know I'm in the running for valedictorian."
There is silence.
A rather loudish snort.
And guffaws.
Congratulations," she finally says, laughing. "What ever are you going to do?"
Fail ever assignment from today onward."
You won't be able to."
Watch me.”
“This phone," he says finally. "I want this phone."
She laughs. "No. S'mine."
Janie, I don't think you understand. I want it."
Sorry."
It's got photo caller ID; Internet; video, camera, and digital recorder?! Holy Hannah... It's making me warm all over."
Oh yeah?" Janie says in a sexy voice. "Wanna play with my phone, baby?"
Hell yes, I do.”
“Bashful=Spanish, Miss Gardenia
Doc=Psychology, Mr. Wang
Happy=Chemistry 2, Mr. Durbin
Dopey=English Lit., Mr. Purcell
Dippy=Math, Mrs. Craig
Dumbass=PE, Coach Crater”
“Excellent." Captain nods. "Cabel. What's your job?"
Watching in agony, sir."
Captain suppressed a smile. "I'd make you stay home if I didn't know you'd sneak out, anyway. while you are watching in agony, feel free to take note of anyone who comes or goes that's not on the list.”
“Cabel gives her a quizzical look. "I am totally not getting enough attention here.”
“You're asking for trouble, Hannagan," he growls.
"And you would be....?" Janie asks. She giggles.
"Trouble.”
“She opens her eyes slowly. It takes her a moment to adjust to the bright kitchen light, shining in her eyes. "Can we rearrange the furniture this weekend?" she asks sleepily. "So when I sleep out here, you don't shine all of Satan's fiery hell lights in my eyes first thing in the morning?”
“Are you okay?" she whispers, giggling.
Me? Oh sure. You might have to carry me out of here, though."
What happened?"
I created a distraction."
I gathered that."
Step stool, encyclopedias, floor."
I see. Well, I can't thank you enough."
Sure you can. Help me flunk enough tests, so I drop out of the 'torian range."
Can't you just tell Abernethy that you have a reputation as a dumbshit to keep up, and you don't want the attention?"
Flunking is more fun.”
“I know i'll screw up. But i'll keep trying, as long as you let me.”
“Do you think Cabel knows?"
Have you thought about asking him?"
Janie glances up to read her face. Bites her quivering lip to still it. "We're not exactly on speaking terms right now."
Captain sighs. "I gathered that." Carefully she says, "Cabel has his own demons and if he doesn't get on with killing them soon, I'm going to kick his ass...”
“Janie calls Cabel.
"Hi, uh, Mom," she says.
Cabel snorts. "Hello, dear. Did you make it through the blizzard?"
"Yeah. Barely." Janie grins into the phone.”
“You - best secret boyfriend ever.”
“Oh baby," he whispers. Steps back. Out of the doorway. His face ashen. He walks slowly back to the kitchen. Leans over the counter. Puts his head in his hands. His hair falls over his fingers.
The bathroom door clicks shut.
She stays there for a long time.
He's pulling his hair out.”
“They have an unusual relationship.
And when things are good, it's magic.”
“Cabel calls Captain.
Komisky."
Sir, any chance Janie and I can be seen together now?"
Under the circumstances, that would pretty damn much make my day, yes. Besides, the Wilder cocaine case got settled on Monday. He pleaded guilty."
You rock, sir."
Yes, yes, I know. Go out to a movie or something, will you?"
Right away. Thank you."
And stop bothering me.”
“So, what are you doing tonight?"
Me?" Janie laughs. "Homework, of course."
You want company?" Carrie's looking wistful.
Do you have homework to do?"
Of course. WEther I do it or not is the real question.”
“The thought of being with Shay Wilder makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a butter knife”
“Janie blinks and leans against the wall, just in case.
But it's no one's dream.
It's just the end of some things.
And the beginning of others.”
“Be careful or you might go to school tomorrow flushed with sex.”
“Captain gives her a hard look. "You know what shit is? Killing three innocent people. Think your life is bad now, try living with that." Her voice is harsh. ”
“He kisses her. She kisses him. They kiss.”
“Dreams happen in the strangest places. Watch for them.”
“It's just the end of some things.
And the beginning of others.”
“With the notebook resting ominuslously on Janie's bed, Janie procrastinates.
Does her homework first.
And pours herself a bowl of ceral. Breakfast - one of the five most important meals of the day. Not to be skipped.”
“Don't say hit and mountain in the same sentence.”
“Tomorrow you're all going to wake up in a brave new world, a world where the Constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones, created in a stem-cell research lab run by homosexual doctors who sterilize their instruments over burning American flags. Where tax-and-spend Democrats take all your hard-earned money and use it to buy electric cars for National Public Radio, and teach evolution to illegal immigrants. Oh, and everybody's high!”
“Robes, dresses, frocks. They hung in endless rows, in hundreds, one beside the other all around the room - gleaming brocade, fluffy clouds of tulle and swansdown, flowery silk, night-black velvet with glittering spangles everywhere like small, many-coloured blinker beacons.”
“How is dear Charlotte?’ Celia asked sweetly, then launched into an account of how they’d been having their usual ‘Fucking shut up’, ‘No, you fucking shut up’, row a couple of evenings ago, when Yuri had opened the front door of their flat to scream up the stairs, ‘Why don’t both of you fucking shut up?”
“Looking at you has been my favorite pastime from the moment you asked me to describe your face," he said solemnly, looking straight into her eyes.”
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