“Colpo di fulmine. The thunderbolt, as Italians call it. When love strikes someone like lightning, so powerful and intense it can’t be denied. It’s beautiful and messy,
cracking a chest open and spilling their soul out for the world to see. It turns a person inside out, and there’s no going back from it. Once the thunderbolt hits, your life is
irrevocably changed.”
“Go for it, while you can. I know you have it in you. And I can't promise you'll get everything you want, but I can promise nothing will change if you don't try.”
“How about we just be Haven and Carmine?” she suggested. “We don’t know the ending, but we can always hope for the best.”
“I like that,” he said. “Besides, there’s a reason we don’t know how the story ends.”
“Why?”
“Because it doesn’t.”
“Nella vita: chi non risica, non rosica," he said finally, his voice quiet. "In life: nothing ventured, nothing gained. My mom used to tell us that. It's been a long time, but I can still hear her saying it.”
“Tell me, Mr. DeMarco. What’s love to you?”
[…]
He glared at his teacher. “I think it’s ridiculous you’re even trying to define it like it’s something material you can just go find if you want it. People use the word too loosely as it is. They say they love this and they love that, when they don’t. They just like the shi— uh, stuff. Love is something that changes you, and if you really loved all the crap you say you love, you’d never know who you were because you’d constantly be changing. Once you love, you love forever. You can’t help it.”
“You’re too good for me.”
He laughed. “Are we talking about the same person? The selfish fucker who curses and yells, blows up cars and beats up people, because he has a temper he can’t control? You know, the one who drinks like a fish and fries his brain with drugs? That person is too good for you?”
She shook her head. “I’m talking about the boy who shared his chocolate bar with me when he probably never shared anything before, who gave me his mama’s favourite book, because he thought I deserved to read. The one who seems to be constantly fixing me up when I get hurt. I’m talking about the boy who treats me like I’m a regular girl, the one who desperately needs his bedroom cleaned and laundry washed but chooses to live in a mess and wear dirty clothes, because he’s too polite to ask the girl he kisses for help.”
“Wow,” Carmine said. “I’d like to meet that motherfucker.”
“You can play it safe, and I wouldn't blame you for it. You can continue as you've been doing, and you'll survive, but is that what you want? Is that enough?”
“Who are you anyway? What are you even doing here?”
“Haven,” she said quietly, peeking at him.
He gazed at her peculiarly. “Heaven? No, this definitely isn't Heaven. But I get why you’re confused, since I'm standing in front of you.” She stared at him, and he
cracked a smile. “I'm kidding. Well, kinda… I have been told I've taken a girl to Heaven a time or two.”
“Haven, not Heaven,” she said, louder than before. Nothing about the conversation made sense to her. “My name’s Haven.”
“Can I keep you? he whispered, laughing and pulling away from her as soon as the words came out. "Whats wrong with me? I'm quoting Casper.”
“some things in life only happen once, the memories of them lasting forever. they're moments that alter you, turning you into a person you never thought you'd become, but someone you were always destined to be.”
“He ran the back of his fingers along her flushed cheek. His touch was soft, and she leaned her head in his direction. “My beautiful girl,” he said.
She took in his expression. “You think I’m beautiful?”
“I don’t think you’re beautiful, Haven,” he said. “I know you are.”
“But then she happened. The girl who had never been able to call her life her own taught a boy who had the world at his fingertips exactly what it meant to live. He wasn’t alone anymore.”
“Some things in life only happen once, the memories of them lasting forever. They're moments that alter you, turning you into a person you never thought you'd become, but someone you were always destined to be. There's no magical rewind button in life, no take backs or do-over's to fix things you wish you could change.”
“I'm not that bad,” he said. “I'm rich, popular. I have a sense of humor. I'm good looking, and not to mention I have a really big—”
“They're titles other people give us. They don't make us who we are. If you're just a slave, then I'm nothing more than a Principe. Is that all I am, Haven? A Mafia Prince?
"No, of course not."
That's what I thought," he said. "Just because some people see us that way doesn't mean it's what we are. We'll overcome our labels together. They don't matter, they don't make us who we are. We make us who are are. Fuck those motherfuckers."
She laughed. "When did you get so smart?"
"Baby, I've always been smart," he said playfully. "I'm just lazy as hell and rarely show it.”
“Dia wrinkled her nose. “Gross. You need a decent girl, one that can straighten you out.”
“I don't need to be straightened out,” Carmine said. “Why drown in love when you can have so much fun swimming in lust?”
“Sogni dóro, mia bella ragazza,” he mumbled, closing his eyes. "Sweet dreams my beautiful girl.”
“Grabbing her hand, he pressed it gently to his chest. His skin was warm to the touch, and she could slightly feel his pulse pounding against her palm.
“Do you feel that? I’m not going anywhere, Haven. This is yours.”
“You come here because you wish to find your faith again. You can't fool God, either. He knows everything, and it's okay, because He'll forgive you. The question is whether you're ready to be forgiven”
“See how much she’s changed… you did that for her”
“I didn’t do anything”
…
“You’re the one who made the difference … no matter what you do tomorrow, Carmine, what matters is that you did that today.”
…
“All I did was love her.”
“Ever think maybe that’s what she needed? Sometimes we don’t have to really do anything. We just have to be.”
“yeah, love is when you always want to be with the person," Lisa said, " you want to go everywhere they go and do everything they do. You'd follow them anywhere"
"That's not love, Lisa," Carmine said, "That's called stalking.”
“they were two broken kids, desperate to be whole again, struggling to find balance in a world out of their control”
“We're like questions and answers. What good is a fucking question without an answer?”
“I’m gonna take a nap, Heaven,” he said, wanting away from her to clear his head. He didn’t like feeling uncomfortable in his house.
“Haven,” she corrected him as he started to walk away.
“I know,” he said. “I kinda like Heaven though.”
She turned to him, and their eyes met for the first time since he’d walked into the room. “Me, too.”
“il tempo guarisce tutti i mali.”
“My mom used to talk about fate all the time, and I think you’re it… you’re my fate. You were brought to me for a reason, for us to save each other. Because you weren’t the only one needing saved, Haven. I was drowning, and you rescued me.”
“Get haven to my house and fix her before your son resorts to resuscitating people just to kill them again.”
“Haven, baby, I need you to wake up. You have to make it. I can't do this if you don't.”
“When you dream, you can go anywhere. I always go to the snow”
“I see you’re not being as sneaky this time around. I’m glad. You make a gorgeous couple.”
Carmine smirked as he looked at Haven, seeing the blush rise up into her cheeks. “We do look good, don’t we?”
Celia laughed. “I see your ego’s still as big.”
“That’s not the only thing big about me,” Carmine joked. “Isn’t that right, tesoro?”
“At a small table, sitting very upright, was one of the ugliest old ladies he had ever seen. It was an ugliness of distinction- it fascinated rather than repelled. She sat very upright. Round her neck was a collar of very large pearls which, improbable though it seemed, were real. Her hands were covered with rings. Her sable coat was pushed back on her shoulders. A very small and expensive black toque was hideously unbecoming to the yellow, toad-like face beneath it.”
“I fell in love with you at your worst. I’ve had some of the best times of my life with you at, as you say, your worst. So I can’t even imagine how special life will be when I get to experience your best.”
“Beauty was devised by someone very insecure to rob others of the happiness he or she couldn't feel. It was a dick move, to be honest.”
“We are not our own any more than what we possess is our own. We did not make ourselves, we cannot be supreme over ourselves. We are not our own masters.”
“I drive north out of Atlanta on Interstate 75, feeling as if I’ve got an IV drip of adrenaline. I want to stop at every rest area and throw knuckleballs to Jeff. I want to stop at the Tennessee state line and throw more knuckleballs. I feel as if I’ve just been given the last big piece of a complicated puzzle, and now it all fits. Thanks to Charlie, I have the proper grip and the awareness of coming straight through the doorframe. Thanks to Tim Wakefield, I have the right arm path, releasing the ball and bringing my arm through toward my cup. Thanks to Phil, I’m firing my hips and exploding toward the plate, an action that is giving my ball a devastating finish before it gets to the plate.”
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