Quotes from Another Fine Myth

“C'mon kid. Think a minute, even if it hurts.”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, quote from Another Fine Myth

“Well, kid," Aahz said, sweeping me with an appraising stare, "it looks like we're stuck with each other. The setup isn't ideal, but it's what we've got. Time to bite the bullet and play with the cards we're dealt. You do know what cards are, don't you?"
"Of course," I said, slightly wounded.
"Good."
"What's a bullet?”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, quote from Another Fine Myth

“Please ta meetcha, kid. I'm Aahz."
"Oz?"
"No Relation."
"No relation to what?" I asked, but he was examining the room again.”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, quote from Another Fine Myth

“To function efficiently, any group of people or employees must have faith in their leader."- Capt. Bligh(ret.)”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, quote from Another Fine Myth

“Are you going to shake my hand,or am I going to rip your heart out?”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, quote from Another Fine Myth

“Why, the man killed over two hundred demons with this sword. They say it is charmed such that whomever wields it cannot be killed by a demon.” “How did he die?” “Knifed by an exotic dancer.”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, quote from Another Fine Myth

“Run through those time measurements again," Aahz grumbled.
"In seconds, minutes, hours...."
"Minutes! We've got a few minutes.”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, quote from Another Fine Myth

“Relax, Skeeve! This'll be easy, Skeeve! Trust me, Skeeve!' Boy Aahz, when you miss a call you don't do it small, do you?"
"Shut up, kid!”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, quote from Another Fine Myth

“Went with one (Assassin) for a while... lovely lass, but she couldn't keep her mouth shut, even in bed. Sometimes I wonder if any profession really guards its secrets as closely as they claim.”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, quote from Another Fine Myth

“Relax, Stranger. Things are not as they seem.”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, quote from Another Fine Myth

“The Demon curled its lips back, revealing a double row of needle-sharp teeth.
I considered changing my chosen course of action; I considered fainting.”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, quote from Another Fine Myth

“we’re up to handling a Deveel, Aahz?” I was aware I had asked the question countless times in the last few days, but I still needed reassurance. “Will you relax, kid?” Aahz growled. “I was right about the Imps, wasn’t I?” “I suppose so,” I admitted hesitantly. I didn’t want to tell Aahz, but I wasn’t that happy with the Imp incident. It had been a little too close for my peace of mind. Since the meeting, I had been having recurring nightmares involving Imps and crossbows. “Look at it this way, kid. With any luck this Frumple character will be able to restore my powers.”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, quote from Another Fine Myth

“Terrific!” I said, and meant it for a change.”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, quote from Another Fine Myth

“Deveels are some of the meanest characters you'd ever not want to tangle with. They're some of the most feared and respected characters in the dimensions."

"Are they warriors? Mercenaries?"

Aahz shook his head.

"Worse!" he answered. "They're merchants.”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, quote from Another Fine Myth

“Say, Aahz?”
“Hmm? Yeah, kid?”
“What dimension do you come from?”
“Perv.”
“Does that make you a Pervert?”
“No. That makes me a Pervect. Now shut up!”
― Robert Lynn Asprin, quote from Another Fine Myth

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“Martha would come over every week and check on Mia and work with her on relaxation and breathing exercises to prepare for the natural labor. Jenny was on board with the natural thing too, so of course she and Mia dragged Tyler and me to the Bradley Birthing Method classes.

It was hysterical; we had to get in all kinds of weird poses with the girls while they mimicked being in labor. We would massage their backs while they were perched on all fours, moaning. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done is contain my laughter during those classes. Mia was the freakin’ teacher’s pet because she was taking it so seriously.

Right around the third class, they showed us a video of a live birth. I had nightmares for a week after that. Tyler and I agreed that we had to find a way to get out of going to the classes.

We hadn’t mutually agreed on a plan, so during the fifth class, Tyler took it upon himself and used his own bodily gifts to get us into a heap of trouble. Tyler is lactose intolerant, and he has to take these little white tablets every time he eats cheese. The morning of the class, he stopped by the studio with a half-eaten pizza. I didn’t even think twice about it until that night in class during our visualization exercises when this god-awful, horrendous odor overtook our senses.

At first everyone kept quiet and just looked around for the source. There wasn’t a sound to accompany the lethal attack, so everyone went into investigation mode, staring each other down. Mia began to gag. I heard Jenny cry a little behind us. Finally when I turned toward Tyler, I noticed he had the most triumphant glimmer in his eyes. I completely lost my shit. I was rolling around, laughing hysterically.

Mia grabbed the hood of my sweatshirt and pulled me to my feet. “Outside, now!” She was scowling as she dragged me along. When we passed Tyler, she pointed to him angrily. “You too, joker.”

Mia and Jenny pressed us up against the brick wall outside and then gave us the death stare, both of them with their arms crossed over their blooming bellies. They whispered something to each other and then turned and walked off, arm in arm.

We followed. “Come on, you guys, it was funny.”

Jenny stopped dead in her tracks and turned. She jabbed her index finger into my chest and said, “Yes, it is funny. When you’re five! Not when you’re in a room full of pregnant women. Do you know how sensitive our noses are?”

I shrugged. “It wasn’t me.”

“Oh, I know he’s a child,” she said but wouldn’t even look at Tyler. “And you are too, Will, for encouraging it.”

Mia was glaring at me with a disappointed look, and then she shook her head and turned to continue down the street. Jenny caught up and walked away with her.

“God, they’re so sensitive,” I whispered to Tyler.

“Yeah, I kinda feel bad.”

Without turning around, Mia yelled to us, “You guys don’t have to come anymore. Jenny and I can be each other’s partners.”

I turned to Tyler and mouthed, “It worked!” I had a huge smile on my face.

Tyler and I high-fived.

“Why don’t you guys go celebrate? I know that’s what you wanted,” Jenny yelled back as they made a sharp turn down the sidewalk and down the stairs to the subway.

“Nothing gets past them,” Tyler said”
― Renee Carlino, quote from Sweet Little Thing

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