“Otis," I said.
"Shhh," he said. "I'm incognito. Call me...Otis."
"I'm not sure that's how incognito works, but okay."
Otis, aka Otis climbed into the chair I'd reserved for Sam.”
“Stop that, I told my brain.
Also, the wedding is tomorrow, said my brain.
Get out of my head.
My brain refused to get out of my head. Inconsiderate brain.”
“At this point, most people would have thrown themselves down on the ground and given up hope. And by most people, I mean me.”
“Look, some people prefer they,” Alex said. “They’re non-binary or mid-spectrum or whatever. If they want you to use they, then that’s what you should do. But for me, personally, I don’t want to use the same pronouns all the time, because that’s not me. I change a lot. That’s sort of the point. When I’m she, I’m she. When I’m he, I’m he. I’m not they. Get it?”
“If I say no, will you hurt me?”
“No.”
“Then no, not really.”
She shrugged. “You don’t have to get it. Just, you know, a little respect.”
“For the girl with the very sharp wire? No problem.”
She must have liked that answer. There was nothing confusing about the smile she gave me. It warmed the office about five degrees.”
“Etiquette tip: If you're looking for the right time to leave a party, when the host yells, "No one leaves here alive," that's your cue.”
“Just like the good old days: marching together into the unknown, searching for missing magical weapons and risking painful death. I’d missed my buddies!”
“It's a good thing Jack was no longer in my hands, because I would've pulled a full-on Kylo Ren temper tantrum.”
“Sam's phone buzzed. She fished it out of her pocket, checked the screen, and cursed. "I have to go."
"You just got here."
"Valkyrie business. Possible code three-eight-one: heroic death in progress."
"You're making that up."
"I'm not."
"So...what, somebody thinks they're about to die and they text you 'Going down! Need Valkyrie ASAP!' followed by a bunch of sad-face emojis?”
“Should I get you a shovel, so you can dig that hole deeper?”
“Annabeth smiled. “I don’t know the ocean very well, but my boyfriend does. I think it’s time you met Percy.”
“I turned to Alex. 'Hey, are you female today?'
'Hold on... There! Now I'm female.'
My expression must have been priceless.
Alex burst out laughing. 'I'm kidding. Yes, I'm female today. She and her.”
“I think it's time you met Percy. - Annabeth”
“How did you decide when someone was irretrievably lost—when they were so evil or toxic or just plain set in their ways that you had to face the fact they were never going to change? How long could you keep trying to save them, and when did you give up and grieve for them as though they were dead?”
“You Keep Using the Word Help. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means”
“I’ll admit that I was staring. Suddenly my whole perspective had flipped inside out, like when you look at an inkblot picture and see just the black part. Then your brain inverts the image and you realize the white part makes an entirely different picture, even though nothing has changed. That was Alex Fierro, except in pink and green. A second ago, he had been very obviously a boy to me. Now she was very obviously a girl.”
“Well, good news, " Blitzen said. "I found the bag. Bad news...I found the bag.”
“Otis and his brother, Marvin, pulled the god’s chariot. They also provided Thor with a never-ending supply of goat meat. Each night, Thor killed and ate them for dinner. Each morning, Thor resurrected them. This is why you should go to college, kids—so when you grow up you do not have to take a job as a magical goat.”
“You know, Magnus…sometimes it’s best not to look as far as you’re able to look, or to listen to everything you’re able to hear.”
“You're sure?' I asked. 'I mean, the Lord of the Sword is great. But you could also be, I don't know, the Slammer of the Hammer'.”
“Magnus, could you glow a little closer, please? - Sam”
“You understand there's no such thing as a little death prophecy, right? - Sam”
“It's a Thing thing. You wouldn't understand.”
“Sam again demonstrated her affection for me by not clubbing my brains out. We were having a friendship fest here at the Thinking Cup.”
“One of these days, I would love to exit a world without being pursued by an angry mob.”
“I Need to Learn Many, Many More Cusswords in Sign Language”
“Sam’s body language looked pretty stiff. I was too far away to hear, but I imagined her conversation with Alex was something like:
Sam: Awkward.
Alex: Awkward, awkward.
Sam (nodding): Awkward, awkward, awkward.”
“Amir took a deep breath. To his credit, he didn't collapse, curl into a ball, or cry, all of which would have been perfectly acceptable responses to finding out there were squeaky-voiced beings in the sky that would invite you up their rainbow.”
“I think we can all agree that this deaf elf sure plays a mean pinball.”
“Did he just call his hammer Mee-Mee? - Magnus”
“I will never understand these bethroted teenagers nowadays.”
“I knew what was like to finally be seduced by the thing you hunted. Mine just happened to be a more traditional seduction. Okay, at least I was still among the living.”
“So . . . this means we’re buried in the same cemetery?”
He nodded, and then the tiniest smile crept over his features. When he spoke again, his tone had lost some of its bitter edge. “More proof that we’re fated to be together, don’t you think?”
“If that were the case, Eli, I’d have a whole graveyard full of choices, wouldn’t I?”
“You are a sorry creature, Flashman. I have failed in you. But even to you I must say, this is not the end. You cannot continue here, but you are young, Flashman, and there is time yet. Though your sins be as red as crimson, yet shall they be as white as snow. You have fallen very low, but you can be raised up again …”
“Before that night, I’d had no idea my father was so well suited for wreaking havoc or equipped to make that lightning-quick transformation from sanity to lunacy that is indispensable in enacting the unbridled urge to destroy.”
“Raven: "You don't have a hot date, do you?"
Alexander: "Yes. I do, as a matter of fact."
Raven: "You do?"
Alexander: "Yes, and it is almost ending.”
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