28+ quotes from Blood Rites by Jim Butcher

Quotes from Blood Rites

Jim Butcher ·  452 pages

Rating: (91.3K votes)


“Are you always a smartass?'

Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“The building was on fire, and it wasn’t my fault.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“An errand is getting a tank of gas or picking up a carton of milk or something. It is not getting chased by flying purple pyromaniac gorillas hurling incendiary poo!”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“Jobs are a part of life. Maybe you've heard of the concept. It's called work? See, what happens is that you suffer through doing annoying and humiliating things until you get paid not enough money. Like those Japanese game shows, only without all the glory.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“Love is another kind of power, which shouldn't surprise you. Magic comes from emotions, among other things. And when two people are together, in that intimacy, when they really, selflessly love each other it changes them both. It lingers on in the energy of their lives, even when they are apart.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“A succubus on the set. Strike that, the health-conscious kid sister made it two… succubuses. Succubusees? Succubi? Stupid Latin correspondence course.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“Ignorance is more than bliss, it's freaking orgasmic ecstacy!”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“You can have everything in the world, but if you don't have love, none of it means crap," he said promptly. "Love is patient. Love is kind. Love always forgives, trusts, supports, and endures. Love never fails. When every star in the heavens grows cold, and when silence lies once more on the face of the deep, three things will endure: faith, hope, and love."

And the greatest of these is love," I finished. "That's from the Bible."

First Corinthians, chapter thirteen," Thomas confirmed. "I paraphrased. Father makes all of us memorize that passage. Like when parents put those green yucky-face stickers on the poisonous cleaning products under the kitchen sink.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“Hell's holy stars and freaking stones shit bells.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“- Did you really save the world ?...
- Mostly I was saving my own ass. Just happend that the world was in the same spot.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“Sometimes I forget how much I like riding the bike."

Most chicks do," I said. "Roar of the engine and so on."

Murphy's blue eyes glittered with annoyance and anticipation. "Pig. You really enjoy dropping all women together in the same demographic, don't you?"

It's not my fault all women like motorcycles, Murph. They're basically huge vibrators. With wheels.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“Thomas was an annoying wiseass who tended to make everyone he met want to kill him, and when I have that much in common with someone, I can't help but like him a little.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“Black Court vampires. I just shortened it some."

Ebenezar tsked. "Blampires. That's the problem with you young people. Shortening all the words.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“I've always felt that the best whips and chains are in the mind. With a little creativity, the physical ones are hardly necessary.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“I'd been in hairier situations than this one. Actually, it's sort of depressing, thinking how many times I'd been in them. But if experience had taught me anything, it was this: No matter how screwed up things are, they can get a whole lot worse.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“So we get a plan," I said. "Any suggestions?"

"Blow up the building," Kincaid said without looking up. "That works good for vampires. Then soak what's left in gasoline. Set it on fire. Then blow it all up again."

"For future reference, I was sort of hoping for a suggestion that didn't sound like it came from that Bolshevik Muppet with all the dynamite.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“Oh, what would you like on your vegetarian pizza?" "Dead pigs and cows," I said. She glanced up at me and wrinkled her nose. "They're vegetarians," I said defensively.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“Chocolate fends off all kinds of nasty stuff. And if you get hungry while warding off evil, you have a snack. It's multipurpose equipment.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“Discretion is the better part of not getting exsanguinated.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“Dammit, Dresden, if you want to know about me, wait for the autobiography like everyone else.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“And it's deadly to us. We can inspire lust, but it's just a shadow. An illusion. Love is a dangerous force." He shook his head. "Love killed the dinosaurs, man."

I'm pretty sure a meteor killed the dinosaurs, Thomas."

He shrugged. "There's a theory making the rounds now that when the meteor hit it only killed off the big stuff. That there were plenty of smaller reptiles running around, about the same size as all the mammals at the time. The reptiles should have regained their position eventually, but they didn't, because the mammals could feel love. They could be utterly, even irrationally devoted to their mates and their offspring. It made them more likely to survive. The lizards couldn't do that. The meteor hit gave the mammals their shot, but it was love that turned the tide.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“Everyone stopped to blink at that for a second. I mean, come on. Impaled by a guided frozen turkey missile. Even by the standards of the quasi-immortal creatures of the night, that ain't something you see twice.

"For my next trick," I panted into the startled silence, "anvils.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“Stop," Kincaid said in a calm voice. "Unclench."
"Unclench what?" Murphy demanded.
"Unclench your ass."
"Excuse me?"
"You're going to trip the beam. You need another quarter inch. Relax."
"I am relaxed," Murphy growled.
"Oh," Kincaid said. "Damn, great ass then.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“Because nothing says flattery like a gun to the head.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“I wish I worried about my uncle's opinions, and had problems to work out with my mom. Hell, I'd settle for knowing what her voice sounded like." I put a hand on her shoulder. "Trite but true—you don't know what you have until it's gone. People change. The world changes. And sooner or later you lose people you care about. If you don't mind some advice from someone who doesn't know much about families, I can tell you this: Don't take yours for granted. It might feel like all of them will always be there. But they won't.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“Laughter, like love, has power to survive the worst things life has to offer. And to do it with style.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“A second later the door opened and Murphy glared up at me, blue eyes bright and cold. "Get more away. I've been fighting this computer all day long. I swear, if you blow out my hard drive again, I'm taking it out of your ass."
"Why would your hard drive be in my ass?" I said.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


“Thomas has the kind of whiter-than-white boyish grin that makes women's panties spontaneously evaporate.”
― Jim Butcher, quote from Blood Rites


About the author

Jim Butcher
Born place: in Independence, Missouri, The United States
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