“Did you know that 'I told you so' has a brother,Jacob?" she asked cutting me off. "His name is 'Shut the hell up'.”
“Hey, Rosalie? Do you know how to drown a blonde? Stick a mirror to the bottom of a pool.”
“Life sucks, and then you die...”
“You nicked-named my daughter after the Lock Ness Monster!”
“Now you know," I said lightly, and shrugged. "No one's ever loved anyone as much as I love you.”
“I know - I'll play you for it," Alice suggested. "Rock, paper, scissors."
Jasper chuckled and Edward sighed.
"Why don't you just tell me who wins?" Edward said wryly.
Alice beamed. "I do. Excellent.”
“Why am I covered in feathers”
“You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating.”
“You could run from someone you feared, you could try to fight someone you hated. All my reactions were geared toward those kinds of killers – the monsters, the enemies. When you loved the one who was killing you, it left you no options. How could you run, how could you fight, when doing so would hurt that beloved one? If your life was all you had to give your beloved, how could you not give it? If it was someone you truly loved?”
“I was stronger than Edward. I'd made him say ow.”
“Leah: "That is easily the freakin’ grossest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Yuck. If there was anything in my stomach, it would be coming back."
Seth: "They are vampires, I guess. I mean, it makes sense, and if it helps Bella, it’s a good thing, right?"
Leah and Jake stare at Seth.
Leah: "Mom dropped him a lot when he was a baby."
Jake: "On his head apparently."
Leah: "He used to gnaw on the crib bars, too."
Jake: "Lead paint?"
Leah: "Looks like it."
Seth: "Funny. Why don’t you two shut up and sleep?”
“What do I look like? The Wizard of Oz? You need a brain? You need a heart? Go ahead, take mine. Take everything I have.”
“Why am I covered in feathers?" I asked, confused.
He exhaled impatiently. "I bit a pillow. Or two...”
“What's so funny?" Bella mumbled.
"I got food in her hair," I told her, chortling again.
"I'm not going to forget this, dog," Rosalie hissed.
"S'not so hard to erase a blond's memory," I countered. "Just blow in her ear."
Get some new jokes, "Rosalie snapped.”
“I'll meet you at the altar"
"I'll be the one in white!”
“Ew. Someone put the dog out, "Rosalie murmured wrinkling her nose.
Have you herd this one, Psycho?
how do a blond's brain cells die?"
She didn't say anything.
Well?" I asked."Do you know the punch line or not?"
She looked pointedly at the TV and ignored me.
Has she heard it?" I asked Edward.
No." He answered.
Awesome. So you'll enjoy this, bloodsucker--a blond's brain cells die alone.”
“I’m a little worried about Edward… Can vampires go into shock?”
“How dare you imprint on my baby? Have you lost you mind?”
“I want you, and I want you forever. One lifetime is simply not enough for me.”
“So this was different. I was amazing now - to them and to myself. It was like I had been born to be a vampire. The idea made me want to laugh, but it also made me want to sing. I had found my true place in the world, the place I fit, the place I shined.”
“Momma, you're special," Renesmee told me without any surprise, like she was commenting on the color of my clothes.”
“I'm not dangerous at all I never hurt Grandpa or Sue or Billy. I love humans. And wolf-people like my Jacob."Renesmee dropped Edward's hand to reach back and pat Jacob's arm.”
“For one half second, I wondered what it would feel like to put my hand in the fire. What it would feel like when I burned....”
“It was not going to be the end of the world. Just the end of the Cullens. The end of Edward, the end of me. I preferred it that way – the last part anyway. I would not live without Edward again; if he was leaving this world, then I would be right behind him.”
“You gonna back down so easy, little sister?. Not much wild about you, is there? I bet that cottage doesn't have a scratch. Did Edward tell you how many houses Rose and I smashed?”
“Do you want me to sing to you? I'll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away.”
“By the way, I love you.”
“That’s why we're here.”
“Life sucks, and then you die.
Yeah, I should be so lucky.”
“Hey, do you know what you call a blond with a brain?" I asked, and the continued on the same breath, "a golden retriever."
I've heard that one, too," she said, no longer smiling.
I'll keep trying." I promised.”
“Fire and ice, somehow existing together without destroying each other. More proof that I belonged with him.”
“How disorienting and isolating immortality must be, and how strong he must be to weather it.”
“Mucho antes de que estuviéramos a medio camino, y sabedora de que nunca llegaría a la roca, ya confiaba en que la segunda esposa de Robert fuera buena con los niños. La vizcondesa, que nadaba tranquilamente, me preguntó si estaba bien. "Oh, sí", contesté, y acto seguido me hundí.
(Duda: ¿Castigo divino?)”
“Yesterday I had a woman ask me what kind of salad dressings we have. I told her we have sesame soy dressing, spicy lime vinaigrette, and blue cheese. She made a face and asked, 'Is that all?' 'Yes,' I told her, 'those are all of our dressings.' 'Don't you have any other dressings?' he says. I mean, what the hell? What does she think? That I'm holding out? I was tempted to say, "No, we actually have an entirely different assortment of dressings that I don't tell people about the first time they ask, because they don't deserve these great secret dressings. But now that you have proven your worth, I will show you to the VIP room, where the array of salad dressings will dazzle and delight you.”
“So, like, Zeus was just some great big preternatural baby-daddy?”
“Ludwig Wittgenstein once said that names are the only things that exist in the world. Maybe that's true, but the problem is that as time passes by, names do not remain the same - even if they don't change.”
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