“He was smoking hot. As in H-O-T-T, hott. I’d never understood until that moment why girls insisted on adding an extra t. This guy was extra-t-worthy.”
“I know I’m just a human woman, but so help me, if anything happens to her while she’s with you—”
“I assure you she’ll be in good hands.”
“Mm-hm, that’s part of what I’m worried about.” She pointed at his hands. “Hands off, mister.”
“Good gracious, he was sexy—a word that had not existed in my personal vocabulary until that moment. This guy was sexy like it was his job or something.”
“We have to face difficulties to find out what our true strengths are. How we come back from failure is a very valuable test.”
“Wait,” Kaidan called from behind me. I squeezed my eyes shut for a second, but kept walking. Then I felt his hand around my
wrist, spinning me in a half circle and pulling me to his chest. His face was so close. He reached down and cupped my face with one
woolly hand, and wiped the top corner of my lip hard with his thumb. I flinched back.
“What are you doing?”
“I...” He appeared to have no idea himself. “I wanted to see your freckle.”
A vulnerable tenderness flashed across his face, more painful to see than the coldness. It took every ounce of strength I had not to
beg for one last kiss. As fast as his expression had softened, it was back to stone again.
“What do you want from me, Kai?”
“For starters?” His voice lowered to sexy, dangerous depths. “I want to introduce myself to every freckle on your body.”
A powerful shiver ripped through me.”
“The beauty of poetry is that it can mean different things to different people at different times.”
“Seriously,” I whispered, unable to look away. “You're doing the bedroom-eyes thing again.”
“Dear God!”
I screamed and buried my face in my pillow.
“What?!” I heard him ask. “Did you see a roach?”
“Why are you naked?!” I did not dare to lift my red face.
“Huh. Is that all?” he asked. “I always sleep in the buff. I don't know how you can stand all that clothing.”
“Unbelievable.” I said, and without looking at him I pulled myself up and stomped to the bathroom.”
“Oh, dear Lord. I was in love with him. And there wasn’t a thing on earth, in heaven, or in hell that could have stopped me.”
“There was nothing healthy about desperately wanting something you couldn't have.”
“You told some human kid?”
I coughed, buying time. “He's Neph, too.”
Jonathan LaGrey went rigid and his ruddy cheeks paled. I squirmed as his eyes bored into mine.
“Which one's his father?” he asked through clenched teeth.
“Richard Rowe. I guess you'd know him as Pharzuph.” Oh, boy. He wasn't pale anymore.
“You came across the country—”
“Shhh!” I warned him as people looked over. He lowered his voice to a shouted whisper.
“—with the son of the Duke of Lust?! Son of a—”
“I felt you come alive when we kissed, and I know you’re afraid of that. Afraid to unleash that other side of yourself.”
“Thankfully I had to stand solitary for only one long moment before Jay came back feeling over-the-moon happy. I let his emotion drench me.
“What were you and Kaidan Rowe talking ’bout?” Jay asked me. “Man, y’all looked like you were gonna rip each other’s clothes off!” I gasped
and smacked his arm, but he didn’t flinch.
“We did not.” My eyes darted over to Kaidan for a fraction of a second, and though he was too far away to have heard, the wink he sent me
brought another flush to my skin.”
“...there is no way of truly knowing one’s heart until one is put to the test.”
“My mother was an angel,” I blurted. “A guardian angel.”
Kaidan began to chuckle.
“What's so funny?” I asked.
“You. You're a walking contradiction. Horns and a halo. I don't believe it.”
“The purpose of life is to find your way back to a spiritual way of thinking and living—to be able to get past the physical stuff.”
“Hey, princess of Popsicles! Queen of curlicue cones.”
“How's your orange juice, Anna? Does it have a touch of lime?”
The glass paused at my lips as I processed his innuendo, and I took a second to make sure my embarrassment stayed hidden inside. I let the drink swish over my tongue a moment before swallowing and answering.
“Actually it's a little sour,” I said, and he laughed.
“That's a shame.” He picked up a green pear from his plate and bit into it, licking juice that dripped down his thumb. My cheeks warmed as I set down my glass.
“Okay, now you're just being crude,” I said.
He grinned with lazy satisfaction.”
“My whole life I’d fooled myself into thinking I didn’t need his love, but I’d been wrong. Everyone needed their father’s love.”
“Besides, unrequited love is one of those things that all teen-agers have to go through, right?”
“Because all I could think about was you, Anna, and how good you are, and what you'd think of me. You put thoughts into my head a Neph shouldn't have!”
“I had a tattoo once,” said Kaidan. “Last year, just before we left England.”
“What do you mean, you had one 'once'?”
“Bloody thing was gone by the morning!” His voice was indignant. “Sheets were black with ink. I put myself through all of that for hours, and my body just pushed it back out!”
And once again we were both in a fit of hysterics, sharing the world's best inside joke. We were doubled over, unable to breathe, and I accidentally snorted. Kaidan pointed at me and laughed harder, clutching his stomach.
“What was your tattoo?” I managed to push the words out.
“You had to ask. It was a deadly-looking pair of black wings on my shoulder blades.”
Kaidan and I started roaring again, muscles clenching from the exertion.
We had no way of knowing it would be our last reason to laugh for a very long time.”
“But even the worst earthly pain and heartache doesn't last into the heavenly realm. And it all serves a higher purpose.”
“I jumped and let out an embarrassing squeak when two hands came around my waist.
“Just me, luv,” he said, close to my ear. “Aren't you the picture of domestication? Do you cook as well?”
“The seven of us slipped onto the porch and down the deck stairs, finding lawn chairs to sit in under a giant oak tree. Kaidan leaned back in his chair, balancing it on the back two legs.
“How about a game of Truth or Dare?” Marna offered.
I was immediately apprehensive. Just as I was about to suggest something else, Kaidan spoke and my heart faltered.
“I'll go first,” he said. “I dare Kope to kiss Anna.”
Everything inside me flooded with fury and embarrassment. Kaidan leaned far back with his arms crossed, cocky. I stood up without thinking and hooked my foot under his chair, swiftly kicking upward and causing him to topple backward. He looked up at me from the ground with a stunned expression that morphed into a grin.
The twins and Blake were in hysterics. Blake laughed so hard he fell sideways out of his own chair, which made Jay join in the laughter. I couldn't sit there with them anymore. This whole night was a disaster. I turned and walked through the yard, toward the side of the house. I heard Ginger talk between gasps of mirth.
“Maybe she's not so bad after all!”
“You should go then.” Don’t go. Don’t bloody leave me. Throw your arms around me. I don’t care if you smear my face with paint, Anna. Tell me you love me. Show me you still want me. Torture me at bit more.Oh, God...she was walking away from me.”
“You promised to be on your best behavior,” I reminded him, breathless.
“You kissed me,” he growled. His voice had gone very deep.
“Well, but you started it by kissing my neck.”
“True. I hadn't planned that.” His sultry voice, paired with those blazing eyes, told me I needed to get away from him. I hurried to the end of the bed, where I jumped off and began to pace back and forth, yanking out my loose hairband and pulling my hair back into a tight ponytail. I tried hard not to think about the taste of his lips. I'd had my first kiss, and I'd never be the same.
“Why did you stop?” he asked.
“Because you were moving on to other things.”
He scratched his chin and cheek. “Hmm, moved too quickly. Rookie mistake.”
I crossed my arms again, watching him speculate internally like a coach outlining a play that had gone wrong. Incredible. Then he sized me up in his sights again.
“But I can see you still want me.”
I gave him my meanest stare, but it was hard to look at him. Gosh, he was hot! And a total player. The kiss meant nothing to him.
“Oh,” he said with mock sadness, “there it goes. Mad instead? Well, sort of. You can't seem to muster a really good anger—”
“Stop it!”
“Sorry, was I saying that out loud?”
“I can read people, too, you know. Well, not you, but at least I have the decency to try not to notice, to give them some sort of emotional privacy!”
“Yes, how very decent of you.” He hadn't moved from his languid position on my bed.
I leaned forward, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at him.
“Pillow fight?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Get off my bed. Please. I'm ready to go to sleep.”
“I wish I could have talked with him longer. I wondered how I could get hold of him. I supposed I could attach my phone number to a pair of my undies and throw them onstage at his next show. The thought actually made me laugh out loud. He'd probably take one look at the white cotton panties and chuck them in the trash.”
“It's a poem, for crying out loud! The beauty of poetry is that it can mean different things to different people at different times. But you know they're expecting one specific, so-called correct answer, and any other thoughtful response will be counted off. It's wrong to dissect poetry like this!”
“Perhaps the Negro musicians had not been able to give enough because they were inhibited by her Southern-supremacy origins.”
“When the reader has stopped to wonder at your delamificatious vocabulary, or, worse, when the reader has stopped because the word you've used has no more meaning to him than a random ptliijnbvc of letters, the reader is not involved in your story. ... Generally, saying 'edifice' instead of 'building' doesn't tell your reader anything about the building; it tells the reader that you know that word edifice.”
“Destruction is easy. But creating something that lasts is a challenge.”
“The neural basis for the self, as I see it, resides with the continuous reactivation of at least two sets of representations. One set concerns representations of key events in an individual's autobiography, on the basis of which a notion of identity can be reconstructed repeatedly, by partial activation in topologically organized sensory maps. ...
In brief, the endless reactivation of updated images about our identity (a combination of memories of the past and of the planned future) constitutes a sizable part of the state of self as I understand it.
The second set of representations underlying the neural self consists of the primordial representations of an individual's body ... Of necessity, this encompasses background body states and emotional states. The collective representation of the body constitute the basis for a "concept" of self, much as a collection of representations of shape, size, color, texture, and taste can constitute the basis for the concept of orange.”
“Between Two Ages laid out Brzezinski’s vision of what U.S. society would be like. The U.S. he wrote “is now in an information revolution based on amusement focus, spectator spectacles (saturation coverage by television of sporting events), which provide an opiate for an increasingly purposeless mass.”
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