Women & Money: Owning the Power to Control Your Destiny

I have always said that if you undervalue what you do, the world undervalues who you are. And when you undervalue who you are, the world undervalues what you do. My experience is that women are, unfortunately, masters at both.

Lasting net worth comes only when you have a healthy and strong sense of self-worth.

We have to develop a healthy, honest relationship with our money. And we have to see this relationship as a reflection of our relationship with ourselves.

It takes more power to say no out of love than to say yes out of weakness. This notion is at the very heart of establishing a healthy relationship with your money.

When you value yourself enough to reject a bad situation, you are being powerful, and that power will motivate you to find a better job.

How long have you been a financial advisor? At least ten years is what you want to hear. Experience is an important factor. You want to know that the person giving you advice has been through good and bad economic times. What certificates, licenses, or accreditations do you have? Your advisor has got to be licensed to give you advice. Nobody, and I mean nobody, should be giving financial advice in any way, shape, or form if they have not taken the time to get the necessary credentials to give you that advice. At the very least, you want your advisor to have one if not more of the following certifications and licenses: ~ CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ (CFP®) ~ Chartered Financial Consultant (ChFC) ~ Personal Financial Specialist (PFS) ~ NAPFA-Registered Financial Advisor ~ Financial Planning Association (FPA) ~ A Series 7 license ~ A Series 6 license ~ Registered Investment Advisors License

Rich means different things to different people,” she wrote. “Financial security is your lifeblood. Creative freedom and expression is mine. If you can experience life in all its forms and experience that you are one with it, then you are the richest person in the world. And when one is in tune with this and one knows the value of material things in creating that environment, the senses are in high creative alert all the time.

How we behave toward our money, how we treat our money, speaks volumes about how we perceive and value ourselves. If we aren’t powerful with money, we aren’t powerful period.

I want you to understand that simply saying your name is an act of power.

I believe there is something incredibly powerful in the act of saying your name. I might even go as far as to say that it is the symbolic key to unlocking your powerful self. I believe that it is not until you can say your name with pride, incredible pride for who you are and all that your name represents, that you will ever be the powerful woman I want you to be.

The only way to counteract feelings of helplessness, indecision, and defeatism is to act. The most powerful attitude you can own when it comes to your future is self-reliance, because when it comes to your retirement, it's really up to you to take care of you.

To this day, it remains one of the best things I have ever done. I did an internal housecleaning and made space for other people to come into my life. And when the right people entered my life, it started to soar. I had relationships that were based on truth. I felt the benefits of harmony and balance internally, and I also became more powerful. I had awakened courage that had been dormant, and it started to show up all over the place. The more I used it, the more it was there to help me, and my life grew bigger, better, happier, and richer.

You are responsible for valuing yourself and stating that value to the world. This holds equally true for employees of companies large and small as well as artists and stay-at-home moms.

It's pretty clear: If you don't ask, you usually don't get what you deserve.

Once you learn to respect your right to be fully valued, you will find it easy and natural to ask the world around you to respect that value. You set your price and the world will meet it. When you walk through the world feeling you are "more than" rather than "less than," more will come to you. No one ever achieved financial security by being weak and scared. Confidence is contagious; it will bring more into your life.

But let me ask you this: Where does blame get you? Blame renders you powerless. You must get past blame to become who you are meant to be. And what does shame do to you? Shame only serves to hold you back... It is fine to understand how we got here, but the next breath must contain a resolve to move ahead into a future that looks entirely different, into a destiny that is all yours.

Add your monthly take-home pay to your partner’s monthly take-home pay. That is your total household income. Now divide your total monthly expenses by your take-home pay and from that you will derive a percentage. That percent is what each of you should contribute to your monthly joint expenses. Here’s an example. Let’s say your after-tax pay is $7,000 a month and your love brings home $3,000 a month. Your total household after-tax income is $10,000. Now add up all the expenses you have each month that keep the household running. Let’s say those expenses for utilities, rent, phone, and so on, come to $3,000 a month. Divide $3,000, your joint expenses, by $10,000, your joint take-home income, and that will give you 30 percent. That means that you each have to put up 30 percent of your take-home pay toward expenses, or $2,100 from you and $900 from your love—equal percentages, not equal amounts. Set up a joint checking account to pay for household bills. Yes, keep your own checking account, but set up one together. This is a great testing ground for your money habits. You know from the first month of The Save Yourself Plan that I want you to sit and pay the bills together. That means that one week before your appointed bill-paying, both of you are to have deposited your share of the monthly expenses into that account.

Life insurance is meant to provide financial protection for those who are dependent on you at a point in your life when you have yet to build up other assets. Once you have accumulated assets that your dependents can fall back on—say, a sizable retirement fund or other significant investments—you no longer need life insurance.

The lawyer specializes in wills and trusts. The lawyer wants to know all details of your financial life. A good lawyer will create personalized documents that address your exact financial situation. You will be charged a flat fee. No hourly billing. The fee includes the creation of all three documents. The fee includes funding your trust. The quote includes time to review the entire document—word by word—with you. Remember, power is knowing exactly what you have.

No matter who you are and what you have in this life, every single one of you needs the following three documents: A will A revocable living trust with an incapacity clause An advance directive and durable power of attorney for health care

…Understood that a will is not enough to protect you and your loved ones. …Had a revocable living trust with an incapacity clause. …Transferred ownership of your assets into the trust. …Created a backup will. …Updated the beneficiaries on all your assets. …Understood the safest way to hold title to your home. …Had an advance directive and a durable power of attorney for health care. …Reviewed your critical documents once a year.

MONTH ONE ACTION PLAN Open a new checking account that is free of monthly maintenance fees. Notify your employer to have your direct deposit sent to the new account. Same with any automatic payments or transfers you make from your checking account—notify everyone of the new account. Balance your checkbook each month; verify all your withdrawals and deposits, and keep track that every bill you pay is recorded as a debit on your account. Open a new savings or money market account that is FDIC insured and carries a high APY. Make it a goal to build a savings account over time that has a balance large enough to cover up to eight months of living expenses. Sign up for automatic deposits into your savings account. If you have more than $100,000 at any one institution, make sure you understand the rules for getting full insurance coverage.