Undead and Unwelcome

What the hell was it about e-mail that made everybody forget the stuff they learned in second grade, like capitalizing I and proper names, and using periods? Hello? We all learned how to do this less than five years out of diapers!

A grumpy vampire is a homicidal vampire. Hungry ones were even worse.

Somehow, when I wasn't looking, somehow because it's electronic mail, none of the basic grammar rules applied.

You know, they did let you have that room,” I said. “In fact, I think they’re assuming you’ll use it, as opposed to lingering in strange hallways.” She responded to me with, “Girl, I am bored outta my tits.” “Can we have one cross-country quest without talking about your tits?” Her pretty dark eyes went narrow and thoughtful, and she caressed her cheek with a long fingernail colored jack-o’-lantern orange. After a thoughtful pause, she shook her head. “I don’t see how.” “I figured.

I ducked again as her Hellfire sword whistled over my head, and sidestepped so quickly I tripped over a chair. I was in such a hurry to scramble to my feet that for a few seconds I ran in place, like the Road Runner.

We do not go about our lives with the objective of making sense to strangers,