Undead and Unpopular

I know it's practical for career women, but sneakers with suits? Jesus couldn't possibly weep harder than I did.

You may stay. But Jessica, please watch what you say and do. Don't look them in the eyes for long. Speak only when spoken to. Yes, sir; yes, ma'am." "Sit up. Arf," I teased. "What about her?" Jessica cried, pointing in my general direction. "She's more in need of an etiquette lesson than I am." "Yeah," I said, "but I'm the Queen. With a capital fucking Q. Hey, you're looking me in the eyes for too long! Eric, make her stop!

It never failed—I'd buy a new journal, write like a madwoman for ten pages, then lose total interest in the process. Three months later, I'd start the whole process all over again. I think I just liked buying new notebooks.

It was scary how much she sounded like me sometimes. Maybe that's why she totally got on my nerves

Getting back to the issue of the child," Tina said, harshing our buzz as visual, "I really think you should reconsider. He—" The phone rang. She picked it up, glanced at the caller ID. "We're kind of busy," I said, a little sharply. The phone was a whole thing between Tina and me. "But—" "If it's important, they'll call back." "But it's your mother." I practically snarled. The phone, the fucking phone! People used it the way they used to use the cat-o'-nine-tails. You had to drop everything and answer the fucking thing. And God help you if you were home and, for whatever reason, didn't answer. "But I called!" Yeah, it was convenient for you so you called. But I'm in the shit because it wasn't convenient for me to drop everything and talk to you, on the spot, for whatever you needed to talk about.

Leave it to a vampire to think a healthy guy in his late thirties or early forties was on his deathbed.

Okay. And you'll, uh, make sure he doesn't hurt anybody when he's, you know, nutty and out of his mind with blood lust?" For the next ten years? Liam winced (well, he blinked), but Sophie soldiered on. "My queen, I have experience in these matters. Guarding young vampires--I--all will be as you wish." Yeah, right. That'd be a fucking first.

Look, nobody's trying to kill me right now and that's just fine. If they don't like me, that's just how it goes. I got over needing people to LIKE me in tenth grade, when I spied the captain of the cheerleading squad on her knees in front of the offensive line of the football team under the bleachers, one day after school. I figured that wasn't the life for me.