Quotes from Magic Slays

Ilona Andrews ·  308 pages

Rating: (51.9K votes)


“Andrea raised her hand. “This is the hand that slapped Aunt B.”
“Maybe you should have it gold-plated.”
“Here, you can touch it, since you’re my best friend.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“Did he just rip out the engine?" I asked.
"Yes", Saiman said. "And now he is demolishing the Maserati with it."
Ten seconds later Curran hurled the twisted wreck of black and orange that used to be the Maserati into the wall.
The first melodic notes of an old song came from the computer. I glanced at Saiman.
He shrugged. "It begged for a soundtrack.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“Yes I can,” Curran snarled. “Listen: this is me telling you what you will not do.”
I raised the cookbook and tapped him on the nose. Bad cat.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“It’s your duty as my best friend to be outraged with me.”
“I’m outraged!” I snarled. “That bastard!”
“Thank you,” Andrea said.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“Are you sure you know where you're going?" Andrea frowned.
"Would you like me to pull over and ask that bamboo for directions?"
"I don't know, do you think it will answer?"
We peered at the bamboo.
"I think it looks suspicious," Andrea said.
"Maybe there is a heffalump hiding in it."
Andrea stared at me.
"You know, heffalump? From Pooh Bear?"
"Where do you even get this shit?”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays



“Help me, I can’t breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“I’d missed him so much, it almost hurt. It started the moment I left the Keep and nagged at me all day. Every day I had to fight with myself to keep from making up bullshit reasons to call the Keep so I could hear his voice. My only saving grace was that Curran wasn’t handling this whole mating thing any better. Yesterday he’d called me at the office claiming that he couldn’t find his socks. We talked for two hours.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“What's with the beard and the horse mane? You look like Rent-a-Villain."

The volhv's eyes widened. He raised his hand at me. "Well you don't look... female... in your pants."

"That's a hell of an insult. Did you think of it all by yourself or did you ask your god for help?”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“I know it's late, but could you find a book for me? It's called The Slavs: Study of Pagan Tradition by Osvintsev."
Barabas sighed dramatically. "Kate, you make me despair. Let's try that again from the top, except this time pretend you are an alpha."
"I don't need a lecture. I just need the book."
"Much better. Little more growl in the voice?"
"Barabas!"
"And we're there. Congratulations!”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“Shapeshifter parenting motto—if your kid slits somebody's throat, always have a backup plan to make the body disappear.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays



“Fuck the pack. I gave them fifteen years of my life. I fought for them, bled for them, and the moment my back was turned, they attacked my wife. I owe them nothing.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“I came to the table, pulled up a chair, and sat.

“Everyone brought a pet. I feel left out.”

An enthusiastic howl broke the silence, and Grendel bounded through the doorway. He galloped through the steak house, skidded on the floor, smashed into my chair, and dropped a dead rat on my lap.

Awesome.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“You snore worse. At least I don't turn into a lion in my sleep."
"I only did it once."
"Once was weird enough, thank you.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“If I fought for them and was crippled, they would all say nice things,and then they would replace me and forget I was ever there. You would stay with me. You would take care of me, because you love me. I love you too, Kate. If you ever became hurt, I would not leave you.
I’ll be there. Wherever you want‘there’ to be.
-Curran to Kate”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“May I say that I am delighted that my favorite alpha is feeling better. Why, you'll be running recklessly into danger against overwhelming odds anytime now.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays



“I got a dog-training book. It says Grendel needs mental stimulation, so I tried to train him, but I think he must be retarded.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“Put your badass faces on and follow me.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“What do you mean fainted?
Took a dive, kissed the pavement. Swooned like a southern belle after her first kiss. Had a dreadful case of the vapors.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“Who snitched?"
"We have people monitoring police radio frequencies. They gave Jim a heads-up in case our security had to storm PAD offices and bust you out of there. I found out when I saw Jim walking down the hallway snickering to himself.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“I turned and bumped my head against his chest a few times. It was the nearest hard surface.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays



“Go home, kiss your wives, hug your children and put your affairs in order, because tomorrow I will burn your neighborhood to the ground. We will kill you, your families, your neighbors, your pets, and anyone who will stand in our path. An attack on my family will not go unpunished.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“Too much excitement, Your Majesty?” I asked.
“He was standing too close.”
“He was asking about Andrea.”
“Too close. I didn’t like it.” Curran wrapped his arm around my shoulders and started walking,
steering me away from the group. His Possessive Majesty in all of his glory.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“I looked at him. "You really need to work on your threats. I can't tell if you're threatening me or inviting me for tea.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“The hallway led me to the stairway of a million steps. My leg screamed in protest. I sighed and started climbing. I just had to keep from limping. Limping showed weakness, and I didn’t need any enterprising, career-motivated shapeshifters trying to challenge me for dominance right about now.
I had once mentioned my desire for an elevator, and His Majesty asked me if I would like a flock of doves to carry me up to my quarters so my feet wouldn’t have to touch the ground. We were sparring at the time and I kicked him in the kidney in retaliation.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“What is wrong with you?
Many, many things.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays



“Say 'pop.'"
"Pop?"
"That was the sound of me pulling your head out of your ass.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“Jealous of the actors now, are we?"
"What, of some fancy boy on the screen? Inconceivable."
Oh, this was going to be good.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“They really kicked me out?"
"Refunded the tuition and everything."
Julie blinked a couple of times coming to grips with this tidbit. "So what happens now?"
"I expect you'll be a bum. Homeless and jobless begging on the street for a crust of bread..."
"Kate."
"Oh, alright, I suppose if you come by the office once in a while I'll give you a sandwich. You can squat in the office on the floor when it gets too cold outside. We can even get you a little blanket to lie on...”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“Rene, you want us to find you-don't-know-who and to retrieve his you-don't-know-what for you-won't-tell-me-whom?”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays


“My investigative technique mostly consisted of going through the list of interested parties and making as much noise as possible, until the culprit lost his patience and tried to shut me up.”
― Ilona Andrews, quote from Magic Slays



About the author

Ilona Andrews
Born place: in Russian Federation
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