The Rise of Renegade X

My mom's a mad scientist. It's a lot like being a regular scientist, except without worrying about legal or moral limitations, and it's a commom profession among the scientifically inclined supervillain.

I'm partial to telling all the sharks they're not as cool as they think they are, and that it's people like them who bankrupt the tooth fairy and don't leave any tooth money for the rest of us. Or we can make out some more. I'm planning on moaning, 'oh, Salty! You bad sea demon!' next time. Just so you're prepared." Kat grins. "Who says we can't do both?" "I knew I loved you." I lean in and kiss her. And then a shark swims by and I shake my fist at it and ask it where all my quarters are.

The great things about siblings, I'm learning, is it turns out you can be as awful to them as you want, and they still have to put up with you.

Well, I don’t know anyone who’s done it, do you?” And I don’t know anyone who was conceived in a public bathroom either, because things like that don’t happen. No, they do not.

At the other end of the train car, the middle-aged man opens his coat to reveal a red supervillain outfit underneath. His chest has the letters TB on it, plus a picture of jacks. Not the kind you use on a car, but the kind kids play with. And the TB doesn’t stand for tuberculosis, either. This is Jack the Toy Boy. Erg. His name makes him sound more like a porn star than a supervillain.

I do not have words for what I want to do to Gordon, my loving father, right now. He’s dressed as the Crimson Flash, the world’s moralest superhero, and no one thought to stop him as he dragged a sixteen-year-old boy through the streets of Golden City, going, “It’s okay to be nervous. I was my first time, too. It’s hard to take the plunge, but before you know it, you’re going to be enjoying the ride.” Why couldn’t anybody have taken that out of context and saved me?

I stepped inside a church once, when it was raining really hard and I couldn’t get my umbrella open. It smelled like old people, and every little noise I made echoed really loudly. I remember everyone in the pews turning to stare at me funny, but that could have been because I interrupted their service. You know, by jumping up and down and screaming that God was burning me.

That left only four potential people, and one of them is a girl, and I don’t think she did any siring.