Saga, Vol. 1

Once upon a time, each of us was somebody's kid. Everyone had a father, even if he never provided anything more than his seed. Everyone had a mother, even if she had to leave us on a stranger's doorstep. No matter how we're eventually raised, all of our stories begin the exact same way. They all end the same, too.

Violence is stupid. Even as a last resort, it only ever begets more of the same.

Forgive me if I don't take relationship advice from a dead teenager missing her vagina.

When a man carries an instrument of violence, he'll always find the justification to use it. If we really want to escape this war, we have to stop bringing it with us.

Doesn't matter if it's personal or professional, a good partnership takes work.

What kind of assholes bring a kid into worlds like these?

If there's an opposite of a honeymoon, it's the week after a couple's first child is born.

They can't hurt us, you big babies! We're intangible! Why are you guys acting like you just died yesterday?

Trust me, this whole freakout is probably just hormonal. You only gave birth, what, a week ago? Your body's still, like, a wasteland of chemical imbalance.

My name is Hazel. I started out as an idea, but I ended up something more. Not much more, to be honest. It's not like I grow up to become some great war hero or any sort of all important savior... but thanks to these two, at least I get to grow old. Not everybody does.

You know, for a pacifist, you sure beg to get stabbed a lot

Dude, your husband is gonna die!

So what? He’s good to you and Hazel now, isn’t he? Who cares if he’s got history with some other broad?

When a man carries an instrument of violence, he'll always find the justification to use it.

Have you ever been shot by one? Because I have and it hurt like the day my dog died...

I started out as an idea, but I ended up something more. Not much more to be honest. It's not like I grow up to become some great war hero or any sort of all-important savior...

Oh, fuck you, you self-righteous piece of...BALD

I thought so. Those who can really do what they promise don't first pause to promise what they can do

All good children's stories are the same: young creature breaks rules, has incredible adventure, then returns home with the knowledge that aforementioned rules are there for a reason. Of course, the actual message to the careful reader is: break rules as often as you can, because who the hell doesn't want to have an adventure?

Some parents let their young kids win at games, but mine never did. I don't think it was because they were particularly competitive, they just wanted to teach me a valuable lesson. Life is mostly just learning how to lose.

There are only three forms of high art: the symphony, the illustrated children's book and the board game.

There's always money in conflict." "Says the diehard peacenik?" "Oh, I abhor real violence, but fake violence is fucking brilliant.

Younger writers are always looking for "blurbs," one of the few words that sounds exactly as awful as the crime it's describing.

After years of pitched battles, my father was ready for a significantly less stressful career. Unfortunately, he decided to try raising a girl.

The advice to "kill your darlings" has been attributed to various authors across the various galaxies... and Mister Heist hated them all. Why teach young writers to edit out whatever it is they feel most passionate about? Better to kill everything in their writing they DON'T love as much. Until only the darlings remain.

Here's the thing, everybody loves babies . . . but only in very, VERY small doses.

How? How did you know...? What, that my wife can do anything? Isn't it obvious?

It would be a very long time before we saw any of our original pursuers again. At least, it seemed kinda long. But nothing warps time quite like childhood. I remember visits to faraway worlds that lasted only a few days but felt like entire lifetimes. And then there were the endless journeys between destinations that somehow went by in the blink of an eye. You know how it goes.

Granny would never love anyone the way she loved my grandfather, but that doesn't mean she never loved again.

They say it’s the worst pain imaginable, losing a child. But that wasn’t my experience. Don’t get me wrong, my son’s death just about destroyed me. But if I’m being honest, nothing will ever hurt quite so deeply as the moment I heard the first person I ever really loved was gone.

There are two kinds of people left in this world, consumers and destroyers

Anyone who thinks one book has all the answers hasn't read enough books.

You'll never understand the way the worlds really work until you surround yourself with people from all sorts of weird backgrounds.

We're all aliens to someone. Even among our own people, most of us still feel like complete foreigners from time to time.

Because death is fucking predictable... but life has science experiments and free time and surprise naps and who knows what comes next?

Dying is one of the few experiences we'll eventually all enjoy firsthand, and like most shit that's commonplace, it's boring to dwell on.

Teachers always promise that students are in a "safe place," but most of us figure out that's a lie pretty fast. My very first fire drill was all the confirmation I needed that the worst can happen anywhere, anytime.

I wanted to correct her, but if I'd learned one thing by that point in my education, it was that when anybody in these cruel worlds offers a helping hand... you shut your fucking mouth and grab it.

I’ve found that cultures often clash for the same reasons that people do. It’s not because we’re so different from each other... it’s because we’re all so goddamn alike

No matter how much freedom they're given, most kids are still glorified props, carefully shuttled from one secure location to the next. We're not children, we're eggs.

I've found that cultures often clash for the same reasons that people do. It's not because we're so different from each other... it's because we're all so goddamn alike.

Yeah, life is complicated. But it's also very fucking short. If you find someone who can forgive all your bullshit... the least you can do is try to forgive them.

Admit it, you're probably a very different person at work than you are at home. Everyone needs to be someone else sometimes.

A lot of people who came into my family's life looking like heroes ended up acting more like villains.

I was pretty good at picking up new languages when I was little, but it's not like I had superpowers or anything. Kids just have an easier time with words.

In the Open Circuit, characters are supposed to have 'arcs,' where they grow and evolve over the course of the story. But Mom always thought that was nonsense.

Relax, Klara, you can finish your one-woman book club as soon as somebody gets home.

The opposite of war is fucking.

Everyone needs to be someone else sometimes

...you have to be brave before you can be good

Good night, chubby baby I can't rock you no more I'm sorry, chubby baby But my arms are getting sore Sleep tight, chubby baby And please don't get me wrong You're a perfect sized baby So never accept fakey beauty standards or develop unhealthy body issues... ... from this dumb song

Doubt can paralyze you, can make you not want to do anything. But if you learn to channel it, to turn those feelings away from yourself and out at the world you can doubt what's impossible.

Here's the thing about miscarriage. They are painful, they are horrific, and they are very, very common. There are no funerals for Those Who Might Have Been, leaving parents to mourn their loss in strange and unexpected ways. But while a miscarriage may feel like the end of the world... it's actually just the beginning of a new one.

Marko: No matter what mistakes you've see your daddy make, violence---magical or otherwise---is never acceptable. Petrichor: Nonsense, Marko. Violence is often essential: in self-defense, the arts foreplay... Hazel: I want to four-play!

I'll just never understand why war is easy, and peace is so goddamn hard.

I´ve held you in my heart since the day you left me. But you´re too heavy to carry another step. And I need to keep moving.

Is this some kind of kinky thrupple thing? Because I'm not necessarily opposed.

...attachment is the root of suffering.

...you are unlike anyone who has ever existed, and that makes you exactly like everyone who has ever existed.