The Great American Whatever

We take everything out to Geoff's car and I'm eating a peach in the front seat and it's dripping everywhere and, you see, this is the problem with fruit. It only seems portable and convenient. Turns out you need a hazmat suit and six towels to eat a peach.

Can you pick me up on Washington Road in Mount Lebo, actually? I got here and them some kids stole my bike." "Quinn, your life story is starting to turn into a documentary that people would walk out of because it's both too sad and too slow.

I don't consider myself to be precious, necessarily, but give me air-conditioning or give me death.

It's a good moment, which is all you can count on or hope for, I think. Tiny little good moments that you catch like a firefly, and just life fireflies, you have to release them, because the whole point is that they're tiny and little and need to be with other fireflies. They aren't a pet. They aren't yours to keep. They're just moments. They're just fireflies.

But you should see the sky tonight. Screw your astrology apps. Screw your games. Look up sometime. There is a whole wing of positive psychology--my therapist told me--that says the greatest way to affect your outlook on life is to consider what you already have more that what you don't have. And so I might not have a cell phone on me, or a sister at home, or a Dad at all, or a future, but holy shit I have the sky.

There's maybe nothing nicer than somebody just coming straight out and showing you they like you.

That’s actually the most confusing part about being alive without knowing the end of your own hero’s journey. You never know if it’s time to go home or head into battle. You never know if you’ve already faced your biggest monster.

Oh! This is kind if fun. I can be the loyal guy Evan never was, and this will convince Amir to stay here. I will move in with him next year. I will work at Carnegie Library and watch DVDs all day. We will have brown babies because we will use his DNA.

In Pittsburgh, time is just endless.

Neither one of them being confident enough to share that news with you because you are, in fact, the monster of this picture. Godzilla got to be the title role, but, my God, he was still the monster. Still the antagonist. Still the wickedest. That is me. The creature who destroys villages and has to be tiptoed around.

He plays ‘Celebrity,’ at his first college party and here are his celebrities: “1. Hitchcock. 2. Kubrick. 3. Mankiewicz. 4. Preminger. And, for the modern crowd: 5. Tarantino. Yes. Yes. Filmmaker celebrities for the ages.” (45)

Basically it is unbelievable how sweet i can be when nobody is watching.

Who was that?" "Nobody," I say to Mom, trying not to actually float by her. "Carly's new boyfriend." Oh, never mind: I didn't use up all my lies tonight. or maybe it's past midnight, and the lie meter has clicked over to tomorrow morning. More as this story develops.

The butterfly effect says that if fifty people smile at once, the power of their acne-pocked cheeks can change the wind, if not the world.

These must be the lessons other kids get from their dads. Here is the lesson I got: When your wife turns forty, run for the hills and don’t take your shorts.