“It’s funny. I used to look up at the stars and feel so small and unimportant. But I’ve come to realize that the only thing that can ever make you feel alive and important is the one person who takes you for you.”
“Why the war paint, Pix?
Because I can't stand the girl underneath....
"Why the tattoos ?"
Because I can't bear seeing the scars of my past.”
“We were both just too messed up to ever be with each other in the way we needed to be. Two shooting stars that burned out too quickly, never quite reaching each other’s skies.”
“Famiglia isn’t always blood, mio caro. Famiglia is built on bridges of love. Famiglia is there for you without condition. Famiglia supports you in your darkest moment of need.”
“We all have secrets, Austin. Some people’s are bigger than others, that’s all. Wouldn’t you agree?”
“There’s you and me. We’re on a beach somewhere, living near the water. You’re laughing so hard, so free. You’re healthy. Strong. And we have three fuckin’ kids. All of them with dark hair and eyes. They’re running around splashing in the water as I hold you in my arms, watching them. I feel you laughing against my chest, and not the fake shit you put on show for your friends. It’s real happy laughter, laughter from your heart.”
“Two shooting stars that burned out too quickly, never quite reaching each other’s skies.”
“I don’t need to look up at the stars to feel inferior, Austin. All I have to do is open my eyes and look at myself in the mirror.”
“I’m lost without you.
I can’t breathe without you.
Without you here, all I can do is fall…”
“We all have secrets. Secrets well buried. Until we find the one soul who makes the burden of such secrets just that little bit easier to bear.”
“When you’re ready, look up. I am waiting for you, baby. I’ll always be there, waiting for you.”
“The soothing vocals of “Ave Maria” serenaded from the small speaker, and Austin looked at me and shrugged in embarrassment. “It makes her smile,” was all he said. I lost a piece of my heart to him right then.”
“I just figure I’ll never let you outta my sight for a while.”
Giggling, Lexi replied, “Careful, Carillo, that’s sounding scarily like a declaration of commitment.”
“Call it what you like, Pix. All I know is I like you. And I wanna see you more. I’m a Heighter from the boonies with a rap sheet--”
“And I’m an emo-anorexic virgin that can’t be touched,” she finished off.
“Match made in heaven, huh?” I said with a wink.
“What could possibly go wrong?” Lexi joked.”
“I have fallen hopelessly in love with the Italian tattooed bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks. And I fall into his protective, open arms with one hundred percent abandon.”
“You see, Pix, I have scars too. It’s just mine are on the outside where everyone can see.”
“Sometimes, someone could stumble unannounced into the train wreck that is your life and begin to pull you out of the heavy rubble weighing down on your chest.”
“I wanted to be brave. I wanted to be the girl who was falling hopelessly in love with this boy who knew my biggest secret…this boy who could be arguably as broken as me…this boy who claimed he needed me as much as I needed him. I wanted to be normal. I wanted to be loved for just plain ol’ normal me.”
“Make love to me.”
Austin’s muscles tensed.
“Lexi…” He trailed off.
As I gripped his hair, I pushed, “Austin, make love to me. Just…be gentle… There’s a chance I might break…”
“You fuckin’ bulldozed me, Pix. You, my tiny dark pixie, made all my defences crumble to dust.”
“She looked at me like I was suddenly her whole world. I felt that look sear right into my heart. Ain’t no one ever looked up on me with such grace, with such trust before, and I felt humbled that she chose to gift it to me
… All anyone ever saw when they looked at me was the white trash ex-gang member from the Heighter-famed trailer park across town.
But not her.
Fuck knows why, but Pix only ever saw more.”
“To the many around the world who feel lost, insecure or inferior. Breathe deep. Be strong. Be brave. And if you fall, look up to the stars and reach for their glittering lights. You are meant to stand tall with the rest of the world. You are not damaged… You are beautiful.”
“Why the War Paint Pix? Why the Tattoo's Austin?”
“Pix, I need you”…
“I think…I think I might need you too.”
“Maybe we were not together; maybe we weren’t. I didn’t care what we labelled it. She could talk to me and I could talk to her. Boyfriend/girlfriend titles had no place among the truly fucked up. Just that there was someone else like you, someone to understand.”
“What a fate: to be condemned to work for a firm where the slightest negligence at once gave rise to the gravest suspicion! Were all the employees nothing but a bunch of scoundrels, was there not among them one single loyal devoted man who, had he wasted only an hour or so of the firm's time in the morning, was so tormented by conscience as to be driven out of his mind and actually incapable of leaving his bed?”
“When we are children we seldom think of the future. This innocence leaves us free to enjoy ourselves as few adults can. The day we fret about the future is the day we leave our childhood behind.”
“...a book is a fragile creature, it suffers the wear of time, it fears rodents, the elements, clumsy hands. If for a hundred and a hundred years everyone had been able freely to handle our codices, the majority of them would no longer exist. So the librarian protects them not only against mankind but also against nature, and devotes his life to this war with the forces of oblivion, the enemy of truth.”
“Some attribute had departed from her, the permanence of which had been essential to keep her a woman. Such is frequently the fate, and such the stern development, of the feminine character and person, when the woman has encountered, and lived through, an experience of peculiar severity. If she be all tenderness, she will die. If she survive, the tenderness will either be crushed out of her, or—and the outward semblance is the same—crushed so deeply into her heart that it can never show itself more.”
“I'm not good," he said, piercing me with eyes that absorbed all light but reflected none, "but I was worse.”
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