“Just try and live. Try and be happy. Or else, what’s the fucking point?”
“Eventually, something or someone will come along in your life to show you that what other people think don’t matter. You’ll find the strength to not let what people say affect you in quite the same way.”
“Do you know what I wish for, Levi, what I hope and pray for all the time?” “What, bella mia?” “That people have one thought, one instinct: Be kind-hearted. Simply be kind of heart.”
“I’ll be your voice when you can’t speak.”
“Pushing Elsie back, I said, “I’m not the most special guy in the world. I’m no one’s perfect dream. I’m not sure I’ll ever do anything extraordinary with my life. I’ll always be that little bit awkward, and that little bit too shy. I’ll always blush and dip my head, but if you’ll let me, I’ll be the one that’s there for you. I’ll be happy knowing I’ve got you and you’ve got me. That’s enough for me, to be the one that you can lean on, to be the one to tell you you’re beautiful every day. And talk to. I’ll adore every sound that comes out of your mouth. I’ll be the one to love you like nothing you’ve ever seen, bella mia.” I blushed with embarrassment, but managed to rasp, “If you’ll just let me… If you want me.”
Elsie sobbed out a cry, tears tumbling down her rosy cheeks. “Levi. You are my dream realized, in every possible way. You are the most special person in my world. And I love that you blush—because I do too.” She wiped at her cheeks. “I love that you’re shy, and,” her breathing hitched, “I love that you love my voice. I love that I never have hide who I am, disguise how I sound. Because I’m tired of trying to please others.” She dipped her eyes and almost flattened me when she said, “You’re my kind of extraordinary. Levi Carillo, you’re the sweetest of souls.”
“And the Italian thing. He speaks fucking Italian, fluently.” Ashton shook his head and gripped my arm. “Use your powers, Alabama. For the sake of jocks everywhere, use the fucking pussy-magnet powers you’ve been granted!”
“Ally Prince’s huge smile greeted me and she pulled me in her arms. “I knew you’d be back,” she said.
“You did?” I questioned.
Ally rolled her eyes then spun me around to face the three Italian brothers and pointed at Levi. “You see that look in Levi’s eyes, the same one Aust is giving Lex and the one my tough guy is giving me?”
I blushed, but nodded my head under the attention of Levi’s storm cloud colored gaze. “Well that’s how I knew you’d be back. Once a Carillo cracks his hard shell and lets you in, once you see them look at you like that, you’re toast, and you’re theirs. You never really had a choice.”
“Words are the worst kind of ammunition. Physical pain fades in time, but bullets of cruelty forever penetrate the soul.”
“Alone and lost, appeared this saint,
With pretty gray eyes, darkness can’t taint.
He stole her from cold, from blustering storm,
Kind and gentle, he took her from harm.
Fearful of dark, he created her light,
A jar of gold, chasing demons of night.
Telling stories of love, he brought to her life,
A moment by his side: no pain, no strife.
He gifted her poems, a gesture on whim,
With every word read, she could see only him.
She counted the days until he returned home,
The boy with his light, the girl not alone.
Invisible to all, a shade wandering in dark,
He brought back her faith, with his pure kind heart.
- Elsie”
“I’m so fucking pissed that I was born in Cali. I’d clean up if I said ‘y’all’ and ‘fixin’ every other word,” Jake complained.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
Her head tilted to the side and she smiled. “That’s why I want to do this more than ever.” Her eyelashes fluttered against her cheeks. “Because you care enough to stop at the thought of causing me pain. Because, even though I can see how desperately you want to be inside me, you’re going slow, you’re making sure I’m safe.”
“Because you’re my girl,” I replied. Elsie’s eyes glossed at my statement.”
“Heaven’s Door"
I’d search the world for Heaven’s Door,
Over mountains and valleys, each sandy shore.
I’d find the stairway, soaring through clouds,
I'd climb each step, without making a sound.
I’d arrive at the door of glimmering gold,
I’d slip through unnoticed, not stirring a soul.
I’d gasp at its beauty, at its rivers and trees,
I’d stray from the paths, I’d hide among leaves.
I’d tiptoe unseen, under sun and sky blue,
I’d search every corner until I found you.
I’d capture a tear, catch a glimpse of your hair,
As you danced and you twirled, without any care.
You’d smile and you’d laugh, like a bird you’d be free,
I’d try not to cry, you’re there without me.
I’d stay my hand from touching your face,
From calling your name, to feel your embrace.
You’d open your mouth and your voice would be pure,
I’d treasure the sound, no more pain you’d endure.
I’d stay ‘til the sunset, when I’d have to leave,
A pain in my heart, my spirit in grief.
I’d blow you a kiss, let it drift to the sky,
I’d whisper ‘I love you’ and bid you goodbye.
I'd pass through the door, I’d descend out of view,
Knowing that one day, some day, I’d again be with you.
- Elsie”
“We healed each other,” Lexi said, without removing her attention from her husband. “We were both lost and knocked down, but we held on tight, and raised each other from the ashes. He brought me my rainbow, Elsie,” she huffed a loving laugh and said, “he brought me the stars.”
I didn’t know what that reference meant, but I could feel the magnitude of what he meant to her. Lexi slipped out of the car and I did too. I walked to the back gate, staying out of sight. I glanced back, seeing Austin, with his gang tattoos and intimidating stature, taking Lexi in his arms and pressing a soft kiss on her mouth.”
“You are the timid one, the gentle brother – inside and out. You are the one to carry his heart on his sleeve. You are the one who watches silently from afar and loves with all his soul.”
“Elsie … you can talk to me. You can open up to me. I swear, you are safe with me.”
“I want to kiss you,” he whispered, barely making a sound. “Real bad.”
I was shocked into stillness. Levi’s warm breath drifted over my face, and I found it in me to ask, “Why?”
Levi pushed closer to me, his breathing stuttered. “Because you’re you.”
“I’ve been lost, Elsie. Lost and drowning since I was a kid … Then I saw you. I saw you and you brought me back to me … Elsie, you brought me life.”
“I want it to be good. I don’t want to mess it up.”
“You couldn’t.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s you. And it’s me. Nothing means more to me in the world but this. But us.”
“It’s okay, kid,” Austin said quietly. “It’s okay to admit that you love her. It’s okay to open yourself up to allow yourself to love. You’ve fought getting close to anyone for too long. Elsie fucking smashed through that wall.”
“There were only two men on the planet better educated in the various martial arts than Butler, and he was related to one of them. The other lived on an island in the South China Sea, and spent his days meditating and beating up palm trees. You really had to feel sorry for those goblins.”
“Anyway,” the agent said abruptly. “I just . . . wanted you to know that I’m sorry for everything. I want to help you and the rest of the Order in any way I can, so if there is anything you need, you know where I am.”
“Chase,” Dante said as the male turned to leave the room. “Apology accepted, man. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry too. I haven’t been fair to you either. Despite our differences, know that I respect you. The Agency lost a good one the day they cut you loose.”
Chase’s smile was crooked as he acknowledged the praise with a short nod.
Dante cleared his throat. “And about that offer of help . . .”
“Name it.”
“Tess was walking a dog when the Rogues attacked her tonight. Ugly little mutt, not good for much more than a foot-warmer, but it’s special to her. Actually, it was a gift from me, more or less. Anyway, the dog was running loose on its leash when I saw it a block or so away from Ben Sullivan’s place.”
“You want me to go retrieve a wayward canine, is that where this is heading?”
“Well, you did say anything, didn’t you?”
“So I did.” Chase chuckled. “All right. I will.”
Dante dug his keys to his Porsche out of his pocket and tossed them to the other vampire. As Chase turned to be on his way again, Dante added, “The little beast answers to the name Harvard, by the way.”
“Harvard,” Chase drawled, shaking his head and throwing a smirk in Dante’s direction. “I don’t suppose that’s a coincidence.”
Dante shrugged. “Good to see that Ivy League pedigree of yours comes in handy for something.”
“Jesus Christ, warrior. You really were busting my ass since the minute I came on board, weren’t you?”
“Hey, by all comparisons, I was kind. Do yourself a favor and don’t look too closely at Niko’s shooting target, unless you’re very secure about your manhood.”
“Assholes,” Chase muttered, but there was only humor in his tone. “Sit tight, and I’ll be back in a few with your mutt. Anything else you’re gonna hit me up for now that I opened my big yap about wanting to get square with you?”
“Actually, there might be something else,” Dante replied, his thoughts going sober when he considered Tess and any kind of future that might be deserving of her. “But we can talk about that when you get back, yeah?”
Chase nodded, catching on to the turn in mood. “Yeah. Sure we can.”
“People returning from a journey carry the distances they have traveled with them like outspread wings - until they put the key in their front door. Then the wings fold up, and they are home again, as though in the center of an impassable steel ring on the horizon. The moment they close the door behind them, they can no longer imagine they have ever been away.”
“Eternal Father, faithful friend, Be quick to answer those we send In brotherhood and urgent trust, On hidden missions dangerous, O hear us when we cry to Thee, For SEALs in air, on land, and sea.”
“Wilderness is not a luxury but a necessity of the human spirit, and as vital to our lives as water and good bread. A civilization which destroys what little remains of the wild, the spare, the original, is cutting itself off from its origins and betraying the principle of civilization itself.”
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