More Than Enough: Claiming Space for Who You Are

when the world tells you to shrink, expand.

When your dreams are bigger than the places you find yourself in, sometimes you need to seek out your own reminders that there is more. And there is always more waiting for you on the other side of fear.

There is no glory in a grind that literally grinds you down to dust.

I realized that if we aren't vigilant, we can move through our entire lives feeling smaller than we actually are—by playing it safe, by unconsciously giving away our power, by dimming our radiance, by not recognizing there is always so much more waiting for us on the other side of fear.

What I know now is that when we derive our worth from the relationships in our lives—the intimate ones, the social circles we belong to, the companies we work for—we give away our power and become dependent upon external validation. When that is taken away, our sense of value, and identity, goes with it.

What is not for you can never be for you. No amount of sheer will or work, no amount of bending or shape-shifting will make it so. No act or effort, no apology, no amount of therapy or prayer or repetition, no self-help, no distraction, no matter how hard you try, you can never force anything that isn’t meant to be.

If you know what you want, ask for it. And be specific you just might get it.

Sometimes just being yourself is the radical act. When you occupy space in systems that weren't built for you, your authenticity is activism

We don’t prioritize our time with ourselves. We rarely set aside moments to be still, to access our center. And the bottom line is, when we don’t focus on our inner light, it dims.

When the music changes, so must your dance. It was the most beautifully worded truth, a profound lesson reminding me to trust my instincts, to let life guide me, and to never stay anywhere doing the same thing longer than I was supposed to.

There is power in speaking your dreams into existence.

Treat dating like gardening instead. Plant the most promising seeds. Water them all. Taste what each has to offer. And when you find one that produces fruit you could eat every single day, give a little more love to it and start pruning the rest.

As a culture, we love a celebration. We love a first. We hold them high. We all marvel at headlines and highlight reels. But we rarely discuss the marks and scars and bruises that come with breaking through glass ceilings.

When the topic of self-care came up, Eve, an academic, writer and visual artist said "There is no glory in a grind that literally grinds you down to dust".

Women are taught to work hard and to play by the rules. WE are taught to never overstep, to stay in our lane, to keep our head down, to go with the flow, to never be too loud or disagreeable. Not to be bossy. Not to be pushy. We are not encouraged to know our worth, let alone to demand it. We arent give the tools to fight for ourselves or taught to challenge authority.

Friends. Sisters. Mothers. Professors. When women affirm women, it unlocks our power. It gives us permission to shine brighter.

Discovering what you don’t want is just as important as finding out what you do.

Our lives are a series of dreams realized. We don't say that enough... The truth is, job titles are temporary but purpose is infinite.

Instead, we are taught in subtle and overt ways to give up our power, to take what we can get, and to be grateful.

The world doesn't prepare girls - especially little brown girls- to see the bigness of their dreams. It doesn't train us to embrace the expansiveness of our own possibilities.

You can't be a part of the solution if you don't recognize how you are a part of the problem

Women aren't taught to get comfortable with making people uncomfortable.

If you ever find yourself walking on eggshells and contorting yourself into ill-fitting ensembles just to prove yourself in a relationship, run.

I realized that if we aren’t vigilant, we can move through our entire lives feeling smaller than we actually are—by playing it safe, by unconsciously giving away our power, by dimming our radiance, by not recognizing there is always so much more waiting for us on the other side of fear.

M. Foss had advised me once to treat dating like gardening instead. Plant the most promising seeds. Water them all. Taste what each has to offer. And when you find one that produces fruit you could eat every single day, give a little more love to it and start pruning the rest... But the important thing to remember is that it's your garden. Nothing good can grow if you don't nourish your own soil. And only you can decide when to stop feeding dead things.

When the music changes, so must your dance

We spend so much of our twenties searching. For ourselves. For our soul mates. For success. For the illusion of security.

Our lives are a series of dreams realized. We don’t say that enough.

To this day, I am embarrassed to admit that I still deeply struggle with get-yo-ass-up syndrome. At least back then, my dad was still down to be my human alarm clock. When all other tactics failed to get the job done- tickling me, pulling the covers off of my virtually comatose body, shouting- my dad made up a wake-up song that he sang to me nearly every morning for sixteen years: "Lainey Flainey, give me your answer true. I'm half crazy over the likes of you." He'd saunter into my room and sit on the edge of my bed, tap, tap, tapping my tiny body to the beat until I finally woke up. Looking back, it was the most loving, patient act of parenting in the universe. Of course, at the time, it was simply annoying as hell. "And we're off like a herd of turtles!" he'd say. Every. Single. Day.

So seeing our full potential isn’t work we can do alone. We need the other women in our tribe. Friends. Sisters. Mothers. Professors. When women affirm women, it unlocks our power. It gives us permission to shine brighter. I am forever grateful for that fateful moment in the sky with these women who saw the bigness of the possibilities in front of me before I could see them