Quotes from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“Think before you desire a thing. There is every possibility that it will be fulfilled, and then you will suffer.”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“Just the other day I came across a statement: A perfectionist is a person who takes great pains, and gives even greater pains to others. And the outcome is just a miserable world!”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“Serve love through the lover, so that you never become attached to the lover. And when one is not attached to the lover, love reaches its highest peaks. The moment one is attached, one starts falling low. Attachment is a kind of gravitation—unattachment is grace. Unreal love is another name for attachment; real love is very detached.”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“I also teach you to love yourself first. It has nothing to do with ego. In fact, love is such a light that the darkness of the ego cannot exist in it at all. If you love others, if your love is focused on others, you will live in darkness. Turn your light toward yourself first, become a light unto yourself first. Let the light dispel your inner darkness, your inner weakness. Let love make you a tremendous power, a spiritual force.”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“Love is never a relationship; love is relating. It is always a river, flowing, unending. Love knows no full stop; the honeymoon begins but never ends. It is not like a novel that starts at a certain point and ends at a certain point. It is an ongoing phenomenon. Lovers end, love continues—it is a continuum. It is a verb, not a noun. And why do we reduce the beauty of relating to relationship? Why are we in such a hurry? Because to relate is insecure, and relationship is a security. Relationship has a certainty; relating is just a meeting of two strangers, maybe just an overnight stay and in the morning we say goodbye. Who knows what is going to happen tomorrow? And we are so afraid that we want to make it certain, we want to make it predictable. We would like tomorrow to be according to our ideas; we don’t allow it freedom to have its own say. So we immediately reduce every verb to a noun. You”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“Once you are in a relationship you start taking each other for granted—that’s what destroys all love affairs. The woman thinks she knows the man, the man thinks he knows the woman. Nobody knows either! It is impossible to know the other, the other remains a mystery. And to take the other for granted is insulting, disrespectful. To think that you know your wife is very, very ungrateful. How can you know the woman? How can you know the man? They are processes, they are not things. The woman that you knew yesterday is not there today. So much water has gone down the Ganges; she is somebody else, totally different. Relate again, start again, don’t take it for granted. And the man that you slept with last night, look at his face again in the morning. He is no more the same person, so much has changed. So much, incalculably much has changed. That is the difference between a thing and a person. The furniture in the room is the same, but the man and the woman, they are no more the same. Explore again, start again. That’s what I mean by relating. Relating means you are always starting, you are continuously trying to become acquainted. Again and again, you are introducing yourself to each other. You are trying to see the many facets of the other’s personality. You are trying to penetrate deeper and deeper into his realm of inner feelings, into the deep recesses of his being. You are trying to unravel a mystery that cannot be unraveled. That is the joy of love: the exploration of consciousness. And”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“Never treat any person as a means. Treat everybody as an end in himself, in herself—then you don’t cling, then you are not attached. You love, but your love gives freedom—and, when you give freedom to the other, you are free. Only in freedom does your soul grow. You will feel very, very happy.”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“Love is the true God—not the God of theologians, but the God of Buddha, Jesus, Mohammed, the God of the Sufis.”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“If you are not selfish you will not be altruistic, remember.”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“And meditation is nothing but enjoying your beautiful aloneness. Celebrating yourself; that’s what meditation is all about.”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“It is jealousy, possessiveness, hatred, anger, violence; it is a thousand and one things except love. It masquerades as love—because all these things are so ugly they cannot exist without a mask.”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“The ordinary love is a demand, the real love is a sharing. It knows nothing of demand; it knows the joy of giving.”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“What is needed is that you become aware of your aloneness, which is a reality. And it is so beautiful to experience it, to feel it, because it is your freedom from the crowd, from the other. It is your freedom from the fear of being lonely.”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“People hate themselves, people condemn themselves—they go on condemning; they go on thinking that they are rotten. How can the other love you, such a rotten person. No, nobody can love you really—the other must be befooling, cheating; there must be some other reason. She must be after something else; he must be after something else. You know your rottenness, worthlessness—love seems to be out of the question. And when some woman comes and says she adores you, you cannot trust. When you go to a woman and you say you adore her, and she hates herself, how can she believe you? It is self-hatred that is creating the anxiety. There”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“If somebody loves you, you accept it because you love yourself. You are happy with yourself; somebody else is happy—good! It does not get in your head, it does not make you madly egoistic. You simply enjoy yourself; somebody else also finds you enjoyable—good! While it lasts, live the fiction as beautifully as possible—it will not last forever. That,”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“Real love is considerate but has no concern.”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“The greatest miracle in the world is that you are, that I am. To be is the greatest miracle—and meditation opens the doors of this great miracle. But only a man who loves himself can meditate; otherwise you are always escaping from yourself, avoiding yourself. Who wants to look at an ugly face, and who wants to penetrate into an ugly being? Who wants to go deep into one’s own mud, into one’s own darkness? Who wants to enter into the hell that you think you are? You want to keep this whole thing covered up with beautiful flowers and you want always to escape from yourself.”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“Just see the difference—in the ancient days, people used to “fall in love.” Now people “make love.” You see the difference? Falling in love is being overwhelmed by love; it is passive. Making love is almost profane, almost destroying its beauty. It is active, as if you are doing something; you are manipulating and controlling. Now people have changed the language—rather than using “falling in love” they use “making love.”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“He says, Love yourself . . . This can become the foundation of a radical transformation. Don’t be afraid of loving yourself. Love totally, and you will be surprised: The day you can get rid of all self-condemnation, self-disrespect—the day you can get rid of the idea of original sin, the day you can think of yourself as worthy and loved by existence—will be a day of great blessing. From that day onward you will start seeing people in their true light, and you will have compassion. And it will not be a cultivated compassion; it will be a natural, spontaneous flow.”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“There are two kinds of beggars: poor beggars and rich beggars, but they are all beggars. Even your kings and your queens are beggars. Only those people, very few people who have stood alone in their being, in their clarity, in their light, who have found their own light, who have found their own flowering, who have found their own space they can call their home, their eternal home—those few people are the emperors. This whole universe is their empire. They don’t need to conquer it; it is already conquered. By knowing yourself you have conquered it.”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“When this space comes into your being, you go on giving to each and everybody—not only to human beings but to animals, to the trees, to the faraway stars, because love is something that can be transferred even to the farthest star just by your loving look. Just by your touch, love can be transferred to a tree. Without saying a single word . . . it can be conveyed in absolute silence. It need not be said, it declares itself. It has its own ways of reaching into the very depths, into your being. First be full of love, then the sharing happens.”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“Relationship is ugly, relating is beautiful. In relationship both persons become blind to each other. Just think, how long has it been since you saw your wife eye to eye? How long has it been since you looked at your husband? Maybe years. Who looks at one’s own wife? You have already taken it for granted that you know her; what more is there to look at? You are more interested in strangers than in the people you know—you know the whole topography of their bodies, you know how they respond, you know everything that has happened is going to happen again and again. It is a repetitive circle. It is not so, it is not really so. Nothing ever repeats; everything is new every day. Just your eyes become old, your assumptions become old, your mirror gathers dust and you become incapable of reflecting the other. Hence”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“Love is sharing; greed is hoarding. Greed only wants and never gives, and love knows only giving and never asks for anything in return; it is unconditional sharing.”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“The reflection that you will find in the other of your own self may be ugly—that is the anxiety; avoid the mirror! But by avoiding the mirror you are not going to become beautiful. By avoiding the situation you are not going to grow, either. The challenge has to be taken.”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“Law is for those who have forgotten the language of the heart and only know the language of the mind.”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“If you enjoy being with somebody, you would like to enjoy it more and more. If you enjoy the intimacy, you would like to explore the intimacy more and more. And there are a few flowers of love that bloom only after long intimacies. There are seasonal flowers, too; within six weeks they are there, in the sun, but within six weeks again they are gone forever. There are flowers that take years to come, and there are flowers that take many years to come. The longer it takes, the deeper it goes. But it has to be a commitment from one heart to another heart. It has not even to be verbalized, because to verbalize it is to profane it. It has to be a silent commitment; eye to eye, heart to heart, being to being. It has to be understood, not said. Forget relationships and learn how to relate. Once”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“Why does the mind interfere at all? Because the mind is created by society. It is society’s agent within you; it is not in your service, remember! It is your mind, but it is not in your service; it is in a conspiracy against you. It has been conditioned by society; society has implanted many things in it. It is your mind but it no longer functions as a servant to you, it functions as a servant to society. If you are a Christian then it functions as an agent of the Christian church, if you are a Hindu then your mind is Hindu, if you are a Buddhist your mind is Buddhist. And reality is neither Christian nor Hindu nor Buddhist; reality is simply as it is.”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“Knowing one’s original face is the beginning of a life of love, of a life of celebration. You will be able to give so much love—because it is not something that is exhaustible. It is immeasurable, it cannot be exhausted. And the more you give it, the more you become capable of giving it. The greatest experience in life is when you simply give without any conditions, without any expectations of even a simple thank-you. On the contrary, a real, authentic love feels obliged to the person who has accepted his love. He could have rejected it. When you start giving love with a deep sense of gratitude to all those who accept it, you will be surprised that you have become an emperor—no longer a beggar asking for love with a begging bowl, knocking on every door. And those people on whose doors you are knocking cannot give you love; they are themselves beggars. Beggars are asking each other for love and feeling frustrated, angry, because the love is not coming. But this is bound to happen. Love belongs to the world of emperors, not of beggars. And a man is an emperor when he is so full of love that he can give it without any conditions.”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“You are in search all over of eyes that can give you a certain meaning. Whenever a woman looks at you she gives you meaning. Now psychologists have discovered that when you enter a room—in a waiting room at the airport, or at a station or in a hotel—if a woman looks twice at you, she is ready to be seduced. But if a woman looks once, don’t bother her, just forget it. They have made films and they have been watching and this is a fact, because a woman looks twice only if she wants to be appreciated and looked at. A man enters a restaurant—the woman can look once, but if he is not worthwhile she will not look another time. And woman-hunters know it well, they have known it for centuries! Psychologists have come to know just now. They watch the eyes—if the woman looks again she is interested. Now much is possible, she has given the hint: She is ready to move with you or play the game of love. But if she doesn’t look at you again then the door is closed; better knock at some other door, this door is closed for you. Whenever a woman looks at you, you become important, very significant; in that moment you are unique. That’s why love gives so much radiance; love gives you so much life, vitality.”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

“And there is no harm in loving a stranger. In fact, it is more exciting to love a stranger. When you were not together, there was great attraction. The more you have been together, the more the attraction has become dull. The more you have become known to each other, superficially, the less is the excitement. Life becomes very soon a routine. People go on repeating the same thing, again and again. If you look at the faces of people in the world, you will be surprised: Why do all these people look so sad? Why do their eyes look as if they have lost all hope? The reason is simple; the reason is repetition. Man is intelligent; repetition creates boredom. Boredom brings a sadness because one knows what is going to happen tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow . . . until one goes into the grave, it will be the same, the same story.   Finkelstein”
― Osho, quote from Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

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