The Strength In Our Scars

All of the love you have given to the wrong people— it will find its way back to you.

sometimes courage isn’t climbing Mount Everest or changing the world. Sometimes your mountain to climb is made up of weekdays and months, made up of pushing yourself forward even when you want to nestle into the past. Sometimes changing the world means changing your world as gradually as you need to, as gently as you heal, because sometimes courage isn’t made up of war and bloodshed; sometimes courage isn’t made of combat. Sometimes courage is a quiet fight, a dim softness within you, that flickers even on your darkest days and reminds you that you are strong, that you are growing—that there is hope.

Sometimes, it’s the people who have been hurt the most who refuse to be hardened in this world, because they would never want to make another person feel the same way they have felt. If that isn’t something to be in awe of, I don’t know what is.

You are allowed to take up space. Own who you are and what you want for yourself. Stop downplaying the things you care about, the hopes you have. Own your passions, your thoughts, your perceptions. Own your fire. Stop putting your worth in the hands of others; stop letting them decide your value. Own saying no, saying yes. Own your mood, your feelings. Own your plans, your path, your success.

You're going to realize it one day-- that happiness was never about your job or your degree or being in a relationship. Happiness was never about following in the footsteps of all of those who came before you; it was never about being like the others. One day, you're going to see it-- that happiness was always about the discovery, the hope, the listening to your heart and following it wherever it chose to go. Happiness was always about being kinder to yourself; it was always about embracing the person you were becoming. One day, you will understand that happiness was always about learning how to live with yourself, that your happiness was never in the hands of others. It was always about you. It was always about you.

Lose yourself in books, in art, in the haze of new horizons. Lose yourself in curiosity, in knowledge, in passion. Lose yourself in feeling it all; lose yourself in the world, in the stories and the lessons it has to teach you, but never lose yourself in love; never lose yourself in another person. You are your own home—please don’t ever forget that.

It took me a long time to realize that not everything in life is meant to be a beautiful story. Not every per-son we feel something deep and moving with is meant to make a home within us, is meant to be a forever. Sometimes, people come into our lives to teach us how to love; and sometimes, people come into our lives to teach us how not to love. How not to settle, how not to shrink ourselves ever again. Yes, sometimes people leave—but that’s okay, because their lessons always stay, and that is what matters. That is what remains.

Because you have been hurt before, you fall in love with anyone who shows you their soul. You know how much courage that takes.

How do you find the right one in a world of 7 billion people? First—you become the right one. The rest will follow.

What a shame it truly is— that some of us have lived our entire lives under the impression that the love we have been searching for was to be found, first and foremost, in anyone but ourselves.

How they make you feel says a lot about them and nothing about you

You guard yourself from sadness, not realizing that you have closed yourself off to all of the happiness the world is trying to give to you. Stay open; it is how the light gets in.

Love will not save you. But it will hold your hand while you save yourself.

One day you will meet someone who will break down your walls and stare into the depths of you. One day they will see the bruises on your soul, will hear about all of the terrible things you have done, and you will expect them to leave, but they won’t. They won’t. One day, you will meet someone who looks into the damage, who sees the wounds, the dark, and they will love you anyways. They will love you.

Fall in love with someone who will take care of you—not in a materialistic way, but rather, fall in love with someone who will take care of your soul. Fall in love with someone who will take care of your mind, someone who will take care of your heart. Fall in love with someone who will take care of even the most chaotic parts of who you are.

Be the reason why someone believes in the goodness and in the heart of other human beings.

My god, I hope you find love. And I don’t just mean that in regards to someone you wrap your tired bones around at night. I mean that I hope you find love in every aspect of your life. I hope you find it tucked into early morning sunrises and the smell of your favorite places. I hope you find it strung between the laughter you share with friends I hope it bounces off of you when you hug the people you care for I hope it swells within your rib cage whenever you hear your favorite song or discover something that moves you. I hope you fall in love with growth, and change, and the messiness, and the beauty of fucking up, and making mistakes, and becoming exactly who you want to be. I hope you find love in places that were once devoid of it, in places within yourself that you could have been softer to, kinder to, in the past. Because if there is one thing I have learned, it is that love is so much more than a boy or a girl who holds your heart. Love is everything around you. It is everything.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation.

And sometimes, healing is rest; it is hiding from the world, it is having everything inside of you be still and quiet and eerily bare. Sometimes healing feels like nothing at all, like you are a silhouette of hope and hurt at the same time.

Are there any rules when it comes to love? There is just one: Let it change you. Let it leave you better than you were before.

Sometimes courage is a quiet fight, a dim softness within you, that flickers even on your darkest days and reminds you that you are strong, that you are growing—that there is hope.

The things that hurt you may have left scars, but they did not destroy you.You survived, and there is hope in that.

Do not be ashamed of what your survival looks like.

It is easy to love someone when they are perfect, when they are soft and light, when they are filled with hope and happiness. But loving someone when they are wearing their flaws like an apology, when they are breaking down, or when they are carrying hurt within them—that is when it means the most. That is when you must show up for them.

If the world does not understand the way you burn, do not hide yourself away. Instead, set it on fire. Show them what you can do with all of that hope inside of you.

The moment you truly start to believe that you are deserving of happiness, of love, of something bigger than what you have been settling for, your heart weeps a little—as if it is the first time in years it has been able to lay down its arms; as if it is the first time in years it has been able to rest.

Here’s what they don’t tell you—you’re never really going to figure it out. You’re never going to figure out the world, or why the things that happened to you happened, or how to ensure that your future is faultless. You’re never going to figure out how to perfect your existence, because it was never meant to be perfected. Instead, you will figure out how to move forward, day by day. You will figure out what kind of breakfast you like in the morning and what kind of people you want by your side. You will figure out the places that make your soul feel at home, and sometimes those places will be human beings. You will figure out what ignites your passion, the things that you could see yourself doing every single day for ten, or twenty, or thirty years. You’ll figure out how to say no and how to stand up for yourself. You’ll figure out how to forgive and let go. You’ll figure out exactly how you like to take your coffee. You’ll figure out how to walk away, how to heal. You’ll figure out how to live with yourself, how to be your own companion. You’ll figure out how to be kind to even the most broken parts of yourself. See, you’ll figure out how to embrace life. How to truly accept it as it comes.

Trust me when I say that one day it’s going to hit you — that you woke up happy, that you’re smiling for no reason, that your hands aren’t shaking anymore. One day, you’re going to remember what it was like to be you a year ago, or three years ago, or even a week ago, and you’re going to be so glad that you fought. You’re going to be so glad that you kept going.

So keep taking the steps. Keep asking the questions. Keep facing the things you need to face. You are getting closer every single day, even when it does not feel that way.

I asked her what happiness felt like, to which she replied, “It feels like everything inside of you has become light again, like for the first time in years, your heart has finally learned how to float above water.