Believe Me

i would happily watch the world go up in flames if anything happened to her, and if that's not enough for you, you can go to hell.

i worry, sometimes, that my love for her will expand beyond the limitations of my body, that it will one day kill me with its heft.

I didn't understand then that a home is not always a place. Sometimes, it's a person.

This one’s mine.” That wipes the smile off my face. “That’s right, buddy.” Kenji is grinning now. “We’re going to be neighbors.

When she's here, right here, it's so much easier to breathe. She's real when she's in my arms

Believe me," I whisper. "I do.

I'm going to marry you today. And then I'm going to make love to you until you can't remember your name.

To the world, she is formidable. To me? She is the world.

And I feel as if I’ve stepped into a strange, alternate reality, into a world where I didn’t think I’d ever belong. I could never have anticipated that somehow, somewhere along this tumultuous path— I’d acquired friends.

When she's here, right here, it's so much easier to breath. She's real when she's in my arms

Idiots are highly flammable love, let them all burn in hell

If Ella were a house, she would be a grand home, one with many rooms and doors, all of which were easily unlocked, flung open. If I were a house, I would be haunted.

I’m the only one allowed to call her Ella now. It’s just for us. A tether to our shared history, a nod to our past, to the love I’ve always felt for her, no matter her name.

Sometimes I am so desperate for quiet that I think I might commit murder for a moment of silence. Instead, I shut down incrementally as I'm able.

I want you to know that I know that and that I see you...I want to give you peace. I want to give you a home. With me.

My body is not unlike the moon, cratered so thoroughly by brutality it’s hard to imagine it untouched by violence.

We’ve been growing toward each other from the opposite sides of the same path since the beginning, haven’t we?

You and I— Aaron, people like us think good things will disappear because that’s how it’s always been. Good things have never lasted in our lives; happiness has never lasted. And somehow we can only expect what we’ve experienced....“But do you know what I’ve realized?” she says. “I’ve realized that we have the power to break these cycles. We can choose happiness for ourselves and for each other, and if we do it often enough, it’ll become our new normal,displacing the past. Happiness will stop feeling strange if we see it every day.

¨Happiness will stop feeling strange if we see it every day¨

¨There´s no one in the whole world like you," she says, and I can practically feel her heart beating between us. ¨I´m so grateful for you.¨ The words cause me an acute pain, a kind of pleasure that make it hard to breathe. ¨I am nothing,¨ I say to her. ¨If I manage to be anything, it is only because of you¨

Huh,” says Winston quietly. “I didn’t even know his face could do that.” “Yeah,” Kenji says. “It’s super weird the first time you see it.” “I can’t look away. I’m trying to look away and I can’t. It’s like if a baby was born with a full set of teeth.” “Yes! Exactly. It’s exactly like that!” “But nice, too.” “Yeah.” Kenji sighs. “Nice, too.” “Hey, did you know he had dimples? I didn’t know he had dimples.” “C’mon, man, that’s old news—

How’s this for a surprise?” Kenji says, leaning against the folding chair. “This beautiful piece of shit right here?” He gestures at the dilapidated house next door. “This one’s mine.” That wipes the smile off my face. “That’s right, buddy.” Kenji is grinning now. “We’re going to be neighbors.

I keep thinking the world will realize, any second now, how completely unworthy I am. I keep waiting for something horrible to happen, something to reset the scales and return me to hell, where I belong, and then all of this will just disappear.

If I were a house, I would be haunted.

I didnʼt understand then that home is not always a place. Sometimes, itʼs a person.

She's built her own family.

I turn sharply to face him. “You’re not coming with me?” Kenji goes stock-still at that, his mouth slightly agape. I realize, a moment too late, exactly what I’ve just suggested— and still I can’t bring myself to retract the question, and I can’t explain why.

I was wrong,” he says, making a crude heart shape with his hands. “Sun and rain make a rainbow.