The Do-Over

Also—thanks to Taylor Swift, for writing songs that feel like books.

I had a marvelous time ruining everything

I fell in love with you on Valentine’s day, Emilie, but I need more than just seven minutes.

I love you, Nick Stark... It won't count tomorrow and it'll be like I never said it, but on this Valentine's Day, I fell in love with you.

This wasn't about boys and girls and love and attraction, this was about a human soul needing to feel seen.

Yes, Emilie Hornby, I'm here to tell you that I'm a little obsessed with you. With this... With us.

For The Lonely, The Daydreamers, The ones who find their friends between the pages of books— YOU MATTER, and your happy ending WILL come. Sometimes the wait is just longer in real life than in fiction.

We're not strangers, Nick Stark.' His half-smile went wide and whole. 'That's right--we're partners.

I know that I'm the only one who truly cares about my happiness, so I make it a priority

I remember everything about you, Em.

Don't you think it's weird that before today--' 'We didn't really know each other, and now it feels like we've known each other for years?

He kissed me like he was trying to prove something.

To-Do List—February 14: DAY OF NO CONSEQUENCES WHATEVER I FUCKING FEEL LIKE

You get what I mean. On a normal day when you're feeling less than positive, force yourself to change your thinking. Instead of 'It sucks that I have to go to school,' think 'It's such a nice day that maybe after school I will recline the seat of my truck and read a good book while the breeze still smells like springtime.

I knew nothing about Nick Stark--other than what he liked to read, what he listened to, what he smelled like, where he worked, how his laugh sounded when he was sleepy over the phone--and he was probably the jerk I'd always thought him to be.

I absolutely expect love in my life, but there is no way I'm going to sit around and wait for fate to make it happen

Everything in my life had changed, but I had zero regrets. I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

I had always been a "good" kid, the kind of kid that parents didn't have to worry about. My homework was always done, I never talked back, I always followed the rules, and I happily went along with what everyone else wanted. In a normal nuclear family, that kind of stuff made parents proud, right? But in a family such as min, it made me forgettable.

His eyes roamed over my cheeks and forehead and chin, and it occurred to me that the two of us were seeing that moment in entirely different ways. I was desperately hopeful that he would remember it all the next day, and he was memorizing every moment to look back upon fondly.

My breath got stuck in my chest as he moved his thumb just under the tattoo--ever so softly--while he was so close to me that I couldn't remember what the world looked like beyond his face.

...and kissed me like...like...' 'Like he was starving and you were the only thing that could nourish him?' His mouth dropped open and he squealed. 'It sounds like something out of Twilight, but you nailed it- that's it exactly!

In other words, I absolutely expect love in my life, but there is no way I’m going to sit around and wait for fate to make it happen. Fate is for suckers. Love is for planners.

Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest gray?

You are not the people-pleasing mouse you purport yourself to be. Burn some cities down with your rage!

I’m more of a tea guy.” “Lying again?” “I seriously drink four to five cups of Sleepytime every day.

Don’t you think it’s weird that before today –“ “We didn’t really know each other, and now it feels like we’ve known each other for years?” “Yes. I mean, it’s kind of…” “Bizarre? For sure. I didn’t know you this morning, and now I know the feel of your hand in mine, the sound of your voice when you’re trying not to cry, and the taste of your mouth.

I was so good that my parents didn’t have to worry about me. So they didn’t. At all.

I went through a phase in sixth grade where I wore the same T-shirt every day, just to see if anyone noticed. They didn't so I gave up after sixteen days in a row.

And as we ran over the snow-packed pavement, I felt magically, wonderfully not like myself. I was the manic pixie dream girl in a movie, a character created solely to be uncomplicated, unexpected, and utterly unpredictable.