“Find a woman who will be your equal in every way. Don’t let yourself fall for someone who’ll put your world before theirs. Fall for the powerhouse who lives as fearlessly as you do. Find the woman who makes you want to be a better man.”
“I can function without you. But I don’t like being away from you. It feels like you take my home with you when you go.”
“I'd definitely found my equal, the woman who made my life a living hell and lived to antagonize me. A woman whose mouth I wanted to tape shut...every bit as much as I wanted to kiss it.”
“If she needs a nap, I could just hang out and wait for her to wake up right? I could like down near her, reassure myself that she was really here and we were really doing this and just...what? Touch her hair? Holy shit. Had I always been this creepy?”
“I missed having her as my intern. I missed bossing her around. I really missed her bossing me around in return.”
“You were going to propose to me?" I asked, still completely confused. "Do women even do that?" She punched me, hard, in the arm. "Yes, you chauvinist. And you totally stole my thunder.”
“I never expected to feel this way about someone." She stared at me, eyes wide nad lips parted as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing. I stood and ran over to the dresser, pulling the box from the drawer and carrying it over to her. When I opened the box and let her see my grandmother's antique diamond and sapphire ring, she clammed a hand over her mouth. "I want to be married," I said again. Her silence was unnerving, and fuck, I'd completely botched this with my rambling nonsense. "Married to you, I mean." Her eyes filled with tears and she held them, unblinking. "You.Are such.An ass.”
“She carried it back to me with the ribbon hooked over her long index finger, and dangled the bag in my face. I ask her to marry me and she brings me a souvenir from New York? What the fuck is that? "What the fuck is that?" I asked. "You tell me, genius." "Don't get smart with me, Mills. It's a bag. For all I know you have a granola bar, or your tampons, in there." "It's a ring, dummy. For you.”
“Here to show me how to grow a penis so I can get the job done?"
"Chloe, I'm pretty sure if you wanted to grow one, you could do it by will alone."
"I'd grow one just so I could ask you to suck on it.”
“I'm so glad we met when we did. Even if you were an enormous pain in my ass you're still the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“She walked to the door in her fucking underwear, and opened it a crack before turning and sprinting into her bedroom, leaving me to greet the intruders. What in the actual fuck.”
“How insane would it have been to know Chloe in my early twenties? We would have torn this place up, and probably lasted only a weekend. Isn't it amazing how you meet the person you're meant to meet, when you're supposed to meet her?”
“It was comical to compare that to the reaction I'd had to losing Chloe. I'd essentially turned into a filthy hobo, not eating, not showering, and surviving entirely on scotch and self-pity”
“Chloe, I'm not kidding. I'm not letting you out of my sight until Christmas." She squinted up at the later afternoon June sun. "Christmas? That sounds a little gimp-in-the-basement for my tastes." "If you're not into that, this relationship might not work after all," I teased.”
“I set my glass down and met his eyes, feeling an overwhelming surge of affection for this man. "That ... makes sense," I said, searching for the right words. "I don't think I appreciated what it meant to see you ever day, either. Even if I did want to poison you on no less than twenty-seven separate occasions."
"Ditto," he replied with a smirk. "And sometimes I feel guilty for how many times I threw you out the window in my fantasies. But I most certainly plan on making it up to you.”
“Don’t let yourself fall for someone who’ll put your world before theirs. Fall for the powerhouse who lives as fearlessly as you do. Find the woman who makes you want to be a better man.”
“I want to be married. I want you to marry me.”
“Yes...I want to be married, too.”
“I’d definitely found my equal, the woman who made my life a living hell and lived to antagonize me. A woman whose mouth I wanted to tape shut . . . every bit as much as I wanted to kiss it. My girlfriend, my former intern, Miss Chloe Mills. Beautiful Bitch.”
“Yeah, well, my family practically walks around wearing Team Chloe shirts under their regular clothes so it’s a little different.”
“I know we have only been together for a little over a year,” I explained, quickly. “Maybe it’s too soon? I understand if it’s too soon. It’s just that how you feel about the way we kiss? I feel that way about everything we do together. I love it. I love to be inside you, I love working with you, I love watching you work, I love fighting with you, and I love just sitting on the couch and laughing with you. I’m lost when I’m not with you, Chloe. I can’t think of anything, or anyone, who is more important to me, every second. And so for me, that means we’re already sort of married in my head. I guess I wanted to make it official somehow. Maybe I sound like an idiot?” I looked over at her, feeling my heart try to jackhammer its way up my throat. “I never expected to feel this way about someone.”
“I want to be married,” I blurted. “I want you to marry me.”
“Well, I meant it. And you can show me your appreciation when you get that hot little ass to France. Deal?”
“Are you fucking serious right now? Are you going to cut my fucking steak at dinner, too, you egomaniacal asshat?” I couldn’t help myself. “Only if I can feed it to you and help you chew.”
“Chloe didn’t get here soon, Dominique would have to roll me to the door to greet my lady friend.”
“And also a little creepy to realize how alike we are.”
“but at some point, Bennett had become it for me. As in it it. The One. And it was fucking terrifying.”
“I could probably get us both off in, like, two minutes.” She laughed. “I’m not sure that’s something to brag about.” The hell it wasn’t.”
“I want to be married,” I blurted. “I want you to marry me.”
Fuuuuuuuck.
And so my entire carefully constructed speech was thrown out the window. My grandmother’s antique ring was in a box in the dresser—nowhere near me—and my plan to kneel and do everything right just evaporated.
In the circle of my arms, Chloe grew very still. “What did you just say?”
I had completely botched the plan, but it was too late to turn back now.
“I know we have only been together for a little over a year,” I explained, quickly. “Maybe it’s too soon? I understand if it’s too soon. It’s just that how you feel about the way we kiss? I feel that way about everything we do together. I love it. I love to be inside you, I love working with you, I love watching you work, I love fighting with you, and I love just sitting on the couch and laughing with you. I’m lost when I’m not with you, Chloe. I can’t think of anything, or anyone, who is more important to me, every second. And so for me, that means we’re already sort of married in my head. I guess I wanted to make it official somehow. Maybe I sound like an idiot?” I looked over at her, feeling my heart try to jackhammer its way up my throat. “I never expected to feel this way about someone.”
She stared at me, eyes wide and lips parted as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. I stood and ran over to the dresser, pulling the box from the drawer and carrying it over to her. When I opened the box and let her see my grandmother’s antique diamond and sapphire ring, she clapped a hand over her mouth.
“I want to be married,” I said again. Her silence was unnerving, and fuck, I’d completely botched this with my rambling nonsense. “Married to you, I mean.”
Her eyes filled with tears and she held them, unblinking. “You. Are such. An ass.”
Well, that was unexpected. I knew it might be too soon, but an ass? Really? I narrowed my eyes. “A simple ‘It’s too soon’ would have sufficed, Chloe. Jesus. I lay my heart out on the—”
She pushed off the bed and ran over to one of her bags, rummaging through it and pulling out a small blue fabric bag. She carried it back to me with the ribbon hooked over her long index finger, and dangled the bag in my face.
I ask her to marry me and she brings me a souvenir from New York? What the fuck is that? “What the fuck is that?” I asked.
“You tell me, genius.”
“Don’t get smart with me, Mills. It’s a bag. For all I know you have a granola bar, or your tampons, in there.”
“It’s a ring, dummy. For you.”
My heart was pounding so hard and fast I half wondered if this was what a heart attack felt like. “A ring for me?”
She pulled a small box out of the bag and showed it to me. It was smooth platinum, with a line of coarse titanium running through the middle.
“You were going to propose to me?” I asked, still completely confused. “Do women even do that?”
She punched me, hard, in the arm. “Yes, you chauvinist. And you totally stole my thunder.”
“So, is that a yes?” I asked, my bewilderment deepening. “You’ll marry me?”
“You tell me!” she yelled, but she was smiling.
“Technically you haven’t asked yet.”
“Goddamnit, Bennett! You haven’t, either!”
“Will you marry me?” I asked, laughing.
“Will you marry me?”
With a growl, I took the box and dropped it on the floor, flipping her onto her back.”
“Hasn’t my mother warned you that I’ve never been good at sharing?”
“What do you dream?
To live with and alongside... rather than without and alone.”
“I didn’t know what I thought, other than that nothing was easy anymore and no matter what I did, things got messed up.”
“I’ll learn all the katas and be the ninjing-est ninja that ever ninjed.” Bubbles whined, so I bent down to rub his silky little head. “Is it the c-word, Bubbs? Don’t you worry, we love the doggas as well as the katas.” David laughed.”
“Then there’s the superstition about spilling salt. One night midway through the Tour of Italy, my CSC teammate Michael Sandstød decided to risk breaking the rule. He purposely knocked over the salt shaker, then poured out the salt in his hand and tossed it all around, laughing, saying, “It’s just salt!” We laughed too, but more nervously. The next day, Michael crashed on a steep downhill, breaking eight ribs, fracturing his shoulder, and puncturing a lung; he nearly died.”
“No matter what there always seems to be something clouding my existence, nothing is ever clear.”
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