I Deliver Parcels in Beijing

I watched my classmates change almost the moment they left, and the gap between them and me only widened with time, our differences setting deeper in us. Meanwhile, this seemingly natural transformation continued to elude me. How they went from students to full-blown grown-ups just like that was a mystery. I questioned whether there had been an adult version in them hidden inside their adolescent selves all along. They only needed to shed their student skins and the metamorphosis was complete. Yet inside me there had only ever been a student. I was the onion that would remain an onion no matter how many layers were peeled away; destined never to be the citrus fruit, who just under the skin has a sweet and juicy pulp.

There is no need to move to the countryside, it's said, because you can be just as isolated in a city. Distance is a matter of the mind.

Work for the sole purpose of making a living is a miserable prison, which is why very few people will confess that this is what they do. The common claims go: I find my job interesting, I like my colleagues, work makes me feel fulfilled. Such statements, even when true, are still one-sided—there are ways outside of work to do what interests us, spend time with people we like, and lead fulfilling lives.

...we proletariat will never be anything but cynical of capitalist schemes.

It's a relief there still exist certain values in this world that transcend the utilitarian rules of gain and loss we've long placed our faith in. There are people who, for reasons inexplicable even to themselves, choose to live according to principles incomprehensible to others, and yet manage to carve out their own safe little corner all the same. It gives you hope that this world really could change for the better.

So, by freedom, I suppose I am referring to a personal pursuit, of sorts, and self-realization through consciousness of our individual selves — the spiritual essence that differentiates one person from another. If more of us went after this kind of freedom, the world would be a more diverse, more inclusive, more equal, and richer place. It would be all the more colorful. The pursuit of freedom is what shapes our individual trajectories, our personal goals, and stops us from having to vie for space on a single, narrow path.

I wasn’t greedy, which was rare, and I was humble and kind, dependable, the precise opposite of everyone else she hired. I was the weakest when it came to sales ability, no question there, but maybe in her view, competent people were a dime a dozen—she was highly competent herself. Trust is what’s hard to come by.