Capital Gaines: Smart Things I Learned Doing Stupid Stuff

I’m convinced that seeing the bad in the world and in people isn’t difficult or wise or insightful—it’s lazy. Finding the good in every scenario typically takes a lot more work. But the rewards of peace and joy and hope are so worth the effort.

If there’s something stirring in you now, and you know what it is, do that. There’s no need to overthink it. A mistake here and there isn’t going to kill you, so don’t waste time worrying about that. It’s infinitely better to fail with courage than to sit idle with fear, because only one of these gives you the slightest chance to live abundantly. And if you do fail, then the worst-case scenario is that you’ll learn something from it. You’re for sure not going to learn jack squat from sitting still and playing it safe.

I wonder if being angrily shouted at or arrogantly debated with has ever swayed a single person? Are human hearts moved by being ridiculed and mocked? When people fling accusations with the presumption of knowing another person’s intentions, what possible outcome could they be hoping for? Who would ever move to their enemy’s camp under such treatment?

The way I see it, there’s work and then there’s work. And there’s a big difference between your work and your job. A job is a task done for an agreed-upon price, and work is the effort directed toward accomplishing a goal. See what I mean? A job is something you do for money. Your life’s work is done for a bigger purpose, to fulfill a calling or a dream. And when you manage to find that work—that’s when it starts feeling like play. I want that for you and for me too. Don’t allow yourself to get stuck grinding away on the job piece and lose sight of the work piece, the one that truly matters. There’s nothing admirable or respectable about laying yourself down, day in and day out, for a job you hate—not if you have a choice. Maybe you can’t up and quit the job you hate. I understand that there are extenuating circumstances that can prevent you from being able to take that leap. But if you are sticking it out because of fear or passivity, there’s nothing heroic about that. Do work that matters . . . to you.

Life isn’t safe, remember. But life can be wonderful if you choose adventure rather than fear.

Not one of us is getting any younger, and waiting for your “perfect moment” or for the “most convenient time” could very well turn into a missed opportunity.

For people with a winner mentality, there’s a positive waiting for you no matter the outcome. For those with a loser mentality, if there’s a negative outcome anywhere along the way, you perceive that you’ve lost. That’s why I always say winning and losing isn’t an event; it’s a mind-set.

if you’re going to make a bet, bet on yourself.

Complacency is the enemy, and getting started is as triumphant as crossing the finish line.

Perhaps you can’t quit your day job, and I understand that. But never, ever quit your day dream.

Each time you muster up what it takes and go for it, the next go-round becomes that much easier. Real and important changes begin with small, courageous acts.

You were uniquely created for a purpose. I have no clue what that purpose is for you specifically, but I am perfectly confident that you do, in fact, have one. And you would be wise to stop being your own biggest obstacle. Your purpose is just like mine. It’s big, and it’s important, and there’s no one else anywhere on the planet who can fulfill it. So quit jacking around and go get after it.

As for me, all I’ve ever wanted, when you get right down to it, is to change the world. I don’t literally mean the whole wide world. That would be nice, I guess, but what I really care about is changing the world around me. This means pouring into the lives of my wife and my kids, my employees, my friends, and my acquaintances. That’s the ripple effect I’ve always hoped to put into motion.

The truth is, we don’t have to agree on everything to be friends, but a lot of people—a lot of people—seem to think we do. That popular and toxic lie has taken our beautiful planet and turned it into a battleground. The assumption is, if you don’t think like me, not only are you wrong, but you are bad and possibly even evil.

If I populate my life with people just like me, then my world is going to be mighty small, indeed—maybe one person deep in all directions. If there are no opposing views, no fresh vantage points, then there is no stretching beyond myself. No growth. No change.

God’s grace lasts as long as it is required. But when the grace and peace start to go, it’s a good time to evaluate if God is still in what you’re doing.

What makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning? What puts a smile on your face, the kind you can’t wipe off if you tried? What fascinates you? Motivates you? Overwhelms you in the very best sense? If you don’t know, I suggest not wasting one more single day until you find out.

When an uncovered passion sits dormant inside you and then someone calls it out, all of a sudden that’s all you can think about.

How many people’s lives were actually better off because theirs intersected with my own? So I’m urging you (and myself as well) to find something worthwhile in this one invaluable life of yours. Find something to fight for. Something to live for.

Nobody remembers if you cross the finish line bruised and bloody. They just remember that you stayed the course. Don’t get hung up on how ugly the race may have looked. In the end, all that matters is that you finish.

This is a really important point to understand: when you aren’t trying to avoid failure, fear loses its foothold. The courage to take a chance is half the battle. The other half? Viewing failure as a teacher and not an enemy.

One match does not define a legacy.

Every ounce of energy you invest in pursuing your goals will help you grow toward God’s plan for you . . . even if you end up somewhere you hadn’t counted on.

What’s never going to change? Our values, our priorities, our commitment to each other and our family. But I hope that literally every other part of our lives changes. I hope that every new season and situation of life changes me.

Jo gets a pretty strong sense about where God is leading her, and until she feels a certain peace, she doesn’t move.

You know how hurt people hurt people? Well, scared people scare people. And thus, the cycle of fear continues on.

I’m smart enough to know that when you put in the effort and find a new passion and get back on track, good things are bound to happen.

I don't sit around and allow the what-ifs and the worst-case scenarios to control me. There are so many things that can knock us down, so why waste one minute worrying about what we can't control?

There are plenty of things worth rushing into the unknown for. But don’t be dumb. Save your courage for when it counts.

The people I love are the only things I hold precious. And my fretting over our safety or future or even our health won’t add a day to our lives—but it might well diminish the days that we’ve got.