Have You Seen Luis Velez?

Living long is a gift denied to many, and so it comes with a responsibility to make the most of it. At very least to appreciate it. People gripe about growing older—their aches and pains, how much harder everything is—as if they had forgotten that the alternative is dying young.

People laugh at things they don't understand. It makes them feel safe. But it's a false feeling. They are no safer. They just feel as if they are. The world is full of people too foolish to judge the difference.

What would you do if you had a friend who had just fallen into total despair about the world?” “Hmm,” she said. And sat back. “Interesting question. So, this friend. Does the despair have to do with the world being a place where people do terrible things?” “Right. That.” “I figured. That’s usually what it is. Well, then I’d say you have to do wonderful things.” Raymond felt his eyes go wide. “Me?” “Somebody has to. And you’re the one asking the question.” “So if I do wonderful things . . .” He stalled there. “The world will still be a place where people do terrible things. But here’s the thing about despair. We fall into despair when the terrible gangs up on us and

And here is the thing about experiences that wake you up, Raymond: You try to get back to sleep, but it’s easier said than done. Once you’re awake, you’re awake. Good luck hitting the snooze button, my friend.

After all, the only thing that hurts more than tears shed is tears unshed.

I think you’re the first person I’ve ever known . . . I might not say it right. We’ll see . . . who really sees me. And I mean the whole thing of me, not just the part that fits with how they want to see me. And it seems weird to me, because the first person I met who really sees me for all of who I am . . . you know . . . can’t see.

They are white, and there is much privilege that comes with being so, but they don’t see it, because there’s never been a day in their life when it wasn’t there. So you ask them if ethnicity makes a difference to them, and they say no. And in many cases they think they are telling the truth. It becomes like asking a fish to tell you about the water. It’s all around him. He swims in it at every moment. But he will likely say, ‘Water? What is this water of which you speak?’ So often this is true.

Never be afraid to look, Raymond. It’s always better to look. Whatever you’re afraid of, turn toward it, not away. Once you’re willing to do that, it loses all its power over you. Trust me. I know this. I don’t always do it. But I really, truly know.

Life gives us nothing outright. It only lends. Nothing is ours to keep.

The world will still be a place where people do terrible things. But here’s the thing about despair. We fall into despair when the terrible gangs up on us and we forget the world can also be wonderful. We just see terrible everywhere we look. So what you do for your friend is you bring up the wonderful, so both are side by side. The world is terrible and wonderful at the same time. One doesn’t negate the other, but the wonderful keeps us in the game. It keeps us moving forward.

The world is a tough place, my friend. I’m not ready to change my mind about that. And yet we’re called upon to be grateful that we’re in it. That seems to be our challenge.

when you decide to be alone or have a family, you’re pretty much choosing between feeling lonely or feeling aggravated.

Because I have lived ninety-two years, Raymond, and if there’s one thing I can tell you, it’s that we are never so unique as we think we are. We are all people. Sure, some things will be different from one person to the next. Some people have more of those feelings than others. Some have too much, and it causes all manner of havoc. Some have none at all. But I can tell you this as a human being who’s had a lot of experience being one: If you’re feeling something, other people in other places are feeling it, too. It’s never just us. But don’t take my word for it. Explore the world for yourself. Look it up. Research it. In my day we went to the library and had to get up the nerve to tell the librarian what we were looking for. You, you have it easy. You have a computer, yes? So why sit here talking to an old woman when you have all of the recorded knowledge the world has gathered sitting upstairs on your desk?

Thank you. I’m honored. Most people pay very little attention. People are funny, don’t you think? I used to play for the philharmonic, and people would pay good money for those tickets. Big money. But I sit out here and play the same music, and most people won’t even flip me a quarter as they walk by. Same music. Just a different sense of how much they should value it.

We fall into despair when the terrible gangs up on us and we forget the world can also be wonderful. We just see terrible everywhere we look. So what you do for your friend is you bring up the wonderful, so both are side by side. The world is terrible and wonderful at the same time. One doesn’t negate the other, but the wonderful keeps us in the game. It keeps us moving forward. And, I’m sorry to have to tell you this, Raymond, but that’s as good as the world is going to get.

Luis comes along and decides that his definition of a man is someone who is not afraid to be kind. That takes courage.

trying to model what it means to be a man, but they don’t truly know. They think it means be tough, feel nothing, betray nothing. And then Luis comes along and decides that his definition of a man is someone who is not afraid to be kind. That takes courage. Don’t you think?

Although . . . I don’t know. He does this thing sometimes where he drops money on people, kind of just because he thinks they deserve it. He never lets them know who gave it to them. And he never used to tell me about it. But then one day I sort of caught him doing it, and I said, ‘Why didn’t you tell me you were doing that?’ He gave me this whole long thing about how it’s only really giving if nobody knows. If it’s anonymous. He said if you let everybody know you did it, then you’re just doing it for the glory. So people will think you’re a great guy. Then it’s just selfish.

But you have to let people go through whatever it is they have to go through. Just be there for your friends. That’s all we can really do for each other sometimes.

Yeah. That’s the problem with trials. Somehow they have it in their heads, the judge and jury, that they’ll decide what’s the truth. But the truth already happened. They can’t decide what happened. They can only be right or wrong about it. Seems like too many times they’re wrong.

That’s the lovely thing about having an animal. You might not want to get up for your own sake, but you will bring yourself to do it for them.

He never liked the way he felt after eating a meal that was almost all carbs and almost no protein.

I wonder sometimes why we’re all so afraid of one another. Or... actually... no, I don’t really wonder. I know why. But I reflect on it. And I think it’s a shame.

I think it makes not one bit of difference if those words came from the soul of Annaliese Schmidt or from the inside of my own brain. I think it only matters if the words are right.