Citizen Illegal

I killed a plant once because I gave it too much water. Lord, I worry that love is violence.

my parents are Mexican who are not to be confused with Mexican Americans or Chicanos. i am a Chicano from Chicago which means i am a Mexican American with a fancy college degree & a few tattoos. my parents are Mexican who are not to be confused with Mexicans still living in México. those Mexicans call themselves mexicanos. white folks at parties call them pobrecitos. American colleges call them international students & diverse. my mom was white in México & my dad was mestizo & after they crossed the border they became diverse. & minorities. & ethnic. & exotic. but my parents call themselves mexicanos, who, again, should not be confused for mexicanos living in México. those mexicanos might call my family gringos, which is the word my family calls white folks & white folks call my parents interracial. colleges say put them on a brochure. my parents say que significa esa palabra. i point out that all the men in my family marry lighter-skinned women. that’s the Chicano in me. which means it’s the fancy college degrees in me, which is also diverse of me. everything in me is diverse even when i eat American foods like hamburgers, which, to clarify, are American when a white person eats them & diverse when my family eats them. so much of America can be understood like this.

I killed a plant once because I gave / it too much water. Lord, I worry / that love is violence.

my enemies aren’t ugly-faced crooks, they don’t laugh while innocent die.​ they point & say how tragic then go home to pet their cute dogs.

i want a joy so fake it stains my insides & never fades away

Emiliano turns back to the ghost of the white boy

a cold pop— i want a joy so fake it stains my insides & never fades away

I killed a house plant once because I gave it too much water. Lord, I worry that love is violence