Natalie Standiford · 276 pages
Rating: (8.1K votes)
“I keep wishing, reflexively, for a glimpse of the future, so I'll know what to do. But I don't kid myself. I have to feel my way forward blindly. I try not to be afraid. Even if you know what's coming, you're never prepared for how it feels.”
“Even if you know what's coming, you're never prepared for how it feels.”
“I had no cause to be happy. I felt sad with a good reason, and it wouldn't be right to mess with that feeling. I thought I ought to just stay sad for a while.”
“If you'd only let me come by myself, none of this would have happened. Having you around makes everything worse.'
She buried her head under her pillow. 'Stop it! you're so cold! You're heartless, you little robot!' The pillow muffled her words, but they still stung.
'I feel things,' I said. 'I'm not a robot!' I stamped my foot and screamed. Then I burst into tears. I touched the wet little drops and held them toward her. 'See, I'm not a robot. This is proof.”
“A toast to the birthday boy!' Myrna shouted. 'Welcome to the adult world, hon. It's lonely, it's miserable, and God help you. But there are bright spots, and nights like tonight are one of them.”
“The whole world is pressing in on me, like a weight on my chest, slowly pushing me down and down. And there's nothing between me and this weight but my flimsy skin. It's not enough. It won't protect me. It doesn't keep anything out. The outside will keep pressing in until my ribs are crushed, and then my organs, my heart and liver and stomach....”
“I wanted to like people. It worried me that I didn’t.”
“But why? Why do you care about our class’s history?"
"I just do. Besides, I need something to put on my art-school applications besides ’Locks self in room and draws all day.’ Even art schools won’t take a psychopath.”
“Well, if you’re talking about love, why did you bring up cocaine?”
“Jonah's breath came fast and shallow. I reached for his hand. He turned his face to me, his eyes wide with panic. Two frozen ponds. A boy screamed and pounded on the surface, trapped under the ice. Panicking. Trying to break through. But his screams faded, his fists flailed, and he slipped away into the dark. The boy was gone. Nothing left but the ice, clear and smooth enough to skate on.”
“I might have been made of metal once, but not anymore. Like Pinocchio, I'd turned into a real girl. So far it sucked. But there was nothing I could do about it.”
“There is a separation between parents and children that shouldn't be breached when the children are young. The parents' adult follies are private. They're disturbing and hard to understand. But eventually the kids wise up, the follies start leaking out, and the parents are revealed in all their flawed humanity. Dad and I were about to cross that boundary for good.”
“Those antidepressants Dr. Huang gave her were some kind of miracle drug. I considered giving them a try, but I didn't think they'd work for me. I had no cause to be happy. I felt sad with good reason, and it wouldn't be right to mess with that feeling. I thought I ought to just stay sad for a while.”
“The students adore your father,' a perfumed woman said to me. 'Aren't you lucky to live with such a charming man!'
'He's even more charming at home,' Mom said. 'Isn't he, Bea? He rides a unicycle through the house -'
'- even up and down the stairs,' I added.
'He juggles eggs as he makes breakfast every morning -'
'- which he serves to us in bed of course,' I said.
'- and pulls fragrant bouquets out of his ass,' Mom finished.
'He's just a joy.”
“I'll never forget Jonah's face. A light poured out of him and became the spirit of the room, like a genie released from a bottle after centuries of darkness.”
“I have a rotary phone from the sixties, it take forever to dial, which keeps me from making impulsive calls.”
“Those who love only half of him do not live him at all.”
“Before he sat down, my internal heat-seekers sensed what was coming my way: deep blue eyes that melted girls like Velveeta in a microwave. I tried to resist those microwave eyes, but sometimes there's no defense against them. I had a feeling I'd be seeing him weeping over my coffin later that night. ”
“The whole summer stretched out before us, long, hot, endless.
September flashed like a tiny red warning light in the distance, but if I squinted, I could ignore it. I decided to squint for a while.
'It's going to be wonderful,' I said.”
“I reached for the phone and dialed his number. I listened to it ring. It rang on and on. I imagined the phone crying out in his empty room.
I didn't count the rings, but it felt like hundreds. Could Mr. Tate hear them echoing through his house? Was I torturing him? Making him scream in frustration, pressing his hands to his ears to block out the noise?
If he wanted to make the ringing stop, all he had to do was pick up.
Maybe he had unplugged Jonah's phone. Maybe he couldn't hear the ringing at all.”
“I almost can't believe you won first place, because the painting deserves it so much, and people who deserve to win hardly ever do.”
“You can love somebody without it being like that. You keep them a stranger, a stranger who's a friend.”
“I just wanted to say something about him, to shoot his spirit out over the airwaves and see what it will do. Maybe he'll come to one of you and give you something you need. Help you get rid of the blues, or keep the sun from catching you crying. A lot of you believe in ghosts. I've heard you say so.”
“He's more of a Death person than a Dinner Roll person...”
“I think ghostliness is a good quality.”
“I don't care, I don't care, I don't care what they think.”
“he's stuck with them, so he makes the best of a bad situation. he's a hero because he makes something good out of a life he doesn't want.”
“Sounds pretty bad. Are you sure about this?"
"Oh, I'm sure."
"Well, I don't know what we can do to prepare, except say our prayers."
"Good luck with that, Herb. God died in 1945.”
“Your affection is not meaningless to me, puny one. I shall devour you another day.”
“Everything—the moon, the fireworks, the fields—had an otherworldly beauty, and I shivered, greedy for these bits of loveliness the universe was throwing our way tonight.”
“The mark of a wise man is that he changes his mind when he sees mistake.”
“Well then,' said Femworth as he came to his feet, 'let's go. Sounds like a delightful challenge before supper. Stimulate the appetite, or kill it. Interesting either way.”
“Where does American money come from? Steel. Railways. You know how it is over there. It doesn’t matter if you murder or rob to get it. The trick is in keeping it for a hundred years, and then you’re aristocrats.’ ‘Is that so different from here?’ Brunetti asked. ‘Of course,’ Padovani explained, smiling. ‘Here we have to keep it five hundred years before we’re aristocrats. And there’s another difference. In Italy, you have to be well-dressed. In America, it’s difficult to tell which are the millionaires and which are the servants.”
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