We Deserve Monuments

You can’t get to know yourself if you can’t sit with yourself for a while.

Trauma is a bitch who keeps on giving. It’s hard to let go of something you haven’t worked through. Some would argue it’s impossible.

The water ebbed and flowed. The sky was cloudless, and the stars were shining, and I wanted to cry because I didn’t understand how a world so beautiful could also harbor so much pain.

Dad let me cry against the fabric of his shirt. I cried because I felt guilty. And helpless. And lonely and frustrated and angry. I cried because I couldn’t tell if everything was changing or nothing was.

Home to the richest soil on Earth. A Great Place to Grow!

I always thought falling in love would feel like an endless summer. Warm and whimsical, sugar-sweet sherbet and sparklers lighting the sky. But it was autumn now, and the world was still beautiful, and it all reminded me of her. I rested my head on her back and thought yes, hearing her laugh felt like jumping into a lake on the first day of summer vacation. But it also felt like this, like being wrapped in a the navy glow of a fall evening with golden leaves beneath our feet. It felt like an angel in a fresh layer of snow and a text message saying all schools were closed. Being around her felt like the opening of a tree bud after a long winter's sleep, and I wondered if that was what love *really* was. A four-season delight." -Avery

...and I was torn. Again. I didn't know how to fix something that stretched past decades I'd been alive. My mind was reeling.

There are things I didn't want you to know," she said, "because they are painful. Do you understand that?" "I think I should be able to decide that for myself.