Quotes from Twisted

Laurie Halse Anderson ·  250 pages

Rating: (31.8K votes)


“I picked up one of the books and flipped through it. Don't get me wrong, I like reading. But some books should come with warning labels: Caution: contains characters and plots guaranteed to induce sleepiness. Do not attempt to operate heavy machinery after ingesting more than one chapter. Has been known to cause blindness, seizures and a terminal loathing of literature. Should only be taken under the supervision of a highly trained English teacher. Preferably one who grades on the curve.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, quote from Twisted


“Everybody told me to be a man. Nobody told me how.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, quote from Twisted


“First thought: It was a dream
Second thought: No it wasn't
Third thought: Crap”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, quote from Twisted


“I was good at digging holes. It was the rest of life I sucked at.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, quote from Twisted


“Why bother trying? What was the point? So I could go to some suck-ass college, get a diploma, march out into a job that I hated, marry a pretty girl who would want to divorce me, but then she wouldn't because we'd have kids, so instead she'd be the angry woman at the other end of the kitchen table, and the kids would grow up watching this, until one day I'd look at my son and he'd look just like that face in the bathroom mirror?
If that was life, then it was twisted.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, quote from Twisted



“I am so sorry. I wish you knew even one tenth of one percent of how sorry I am. ...It was my fault. Can I kill myself here, or should I do it outside, so the mess on your carpet doesn't upset your mother?”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, quote from Twisted


“Brain: You don’t want this.
Hormones: Dude, this is EXACTLY what I want.
B: No, not like this—she's wasted.
H: What's your point?
B: She won't remember this, and if she does, she'll be angry.
H: Do you see where her hand is? God, that feels good. Can't you feel that?
B: She's drunk. You can't do this. It's wrong
H: I want to do this.
B: Really? You want to go to school and say you scored with Bethany Milbury when she was so drunk she barely knew her name?
H:
H:
H: You're an asshole. I hate you.
B: She needs to eat something and drink some water. Don't let her drink anymore beer.
H:
H: Yeah, I know
B: She'll love you for taking care of her. She'll love that you respected her.
H: Five more minutes? Just five?
B: Now.
H: I can't believe you're making me do this.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, quote from Twisted


“And then a new screen, one I had never seen before, never even heard of popped up. It gave me a choice. I could become the new Lord of Darkness myself, or I could take a gamble and be reincarnated. I chose wisely.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, quote from Twisted


“I scared myself, because once you've thought long and hard enough about doing something that is colossally stupid, you feel like you've actually done it, and then you're never quite sure what your limits are.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, quote from Twisted


“Hannah was about to burst with excitement, which would have been disgusting because she would have sprayed blood, guts and glitter in every direction.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, quote from Twisted



“i decapitated dandelions all morning, leaving carnage and death strewn into my path.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, quote from Twisted


“I spent the last Friday of summer vacation spreading hot, sticky tar across the roof of George Washington High. My companions were Dopey, Toothless, and Joe, the brain surgeons in charge of building maintenance. At least they were getting paid. I was working forty feet above the ground, breathing in sulfur fumes from Satan's vomitorium, for free.

Character building, my father said.

Mandatory community service, the judge said. Court-ordered restitution for the Foul Deed. He nailed me with the bill for the damage I had done, which meant I had to sell my car and bust my hump at a landscaping company all summer. Oh, and he gave me six months of meetings with a probation officer who thought I was a waste of human flesh.

Still, it was better than jail.

I pushed the mop back and forth, trying to coat the seams evenly. We didn't want any rain getting into the building and destroying the classrooms. Didn't want to hurt the school. No, sir, we sure didn't.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, quote from Twisted


“I didn't fit.
I was a different size, a different shape. I kept trying to squeeze into a body, a skin suit, that was too small. It rubbed me the wrong way. I blistered. I callused. I scarred over and it kept hurting. I would never fit.
But, really, I didn't want to fit. That's why it was hard.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, quote from Twisted


“If that was life, then it was twisted.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, quote from Twisted


“I closed my eyes and let my enemy win.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, quote from Twisted



“I handed my tools. The two of them reached down to help me out of the crater I'd dug. ''Isn't that a little deep?'' Yoda asked. ''It'll help the roots get established,'' I explained. ''Established where? China?”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, quote from Twisted


“Did you read last nights assignments?" Say "yes'" and get hammered again. Say "no'" and the same thing would happen.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, quote from Twisted


“I'm not wearing this!" I shouted.

"Wear it or die," Mom shouted back.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, quote from Twisted


“She complains all the time about her hair turning gray and her butt sagging and her skin wrinkling, but I'm supposed to be grateful for a face full of zits, hair in embarrassing places, and feet that grow an inch a night. Utter crap.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, quote from Twisted


“I looked in the mirror and realized that I was already dead. I let you kill me one piece at a time, starting when I was, what? Eight years old? Nine? You killed yourself and then you came after us.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, quote from Twisted



About the author

Laurie Halse Anderson
Born place: in Potsdam, New York, The United States
Born date October 23, 2018
See more on GoodReads

Popular quotes

“Alas, why are my nights all thus lost? Ah, why do I ever miss his
sight whose breath touches my sleep?”
― Rabindranath Tagore, quote from Gitanjali: Song Offerings


“media are independent and committed to discovering and reporting the truth, and that they do not merely reflect the world as powerful groups wish it to be perceived.”
― Noam Chomsky, quote from Manufacturing Consent: The Political Economy of the Mass Media


“If we have, we are heroes and the kits are safe. If we are wrong, then we are as good as dead.”
― Erin Hunter, quote from Warriors Boxed Set


“Orang-orang berbicara tentang segala yang tumbuh, yang ditanam maupun liar, seolah mengenal mereka lebih daripada pokok-pokok itu sendiri mengenal dingin dan matahari, ataupun hangat bumi. Namun binatang tidak menghafal pohon-pohon karena namanya, seperti seekor induk atau sepasang tidak mengenal tetasannya atau susuannya dengan nama. Mereka mengenal tanpa batas.”
― Ayu Utami, quote from Saman


“Peter to Austin: “Here are the facts, Austin. You’ve been engaged four times.
You’ve cheated on every single one of them. You’re cruel
sometimes and superficial and spoiled and really fucked up
emotionally. You talk about my being inscrutable, but you treat
nothing as if it matters to you. Something terrible happens? You
make a joke and shrug it off. You feel too much? You get angry
and lash out at me. So no, I’m not in love with you. I’m fighting
it every fucking step! I just wish I could stop it.”
― Dani Alexander, quote from Shattered Glass


Interesting books

Babylon's Ark: The Incredible Wartime Rescue of the Baghdad Zoo
(2.3K)
Babylon's Ark: The I...
by Lawrence Anthony
Twice Born
(3.9K)
Twice Born
by Margaret Mazzantini
The Death of the Heart
(5.3K)
The Death of the Hea...
by Elizabeth Bowen
Asking For It
(9.8K)
Asking For It
by Louise O'Neill
School's Out - Forever
(103.6K)
School's Out - Forev...
by James Patterson
Fractured
(10.6K)
Fractured
by Dani Atkins

About BookQuoters

BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.

We thoughtfully gather quotes from our favorite books, both classic and current, and choose the ones that are most thought-provoking. Each quote represents a book that is interesting, well written and has potential to enhance the reader’s life. We also accept submissions from our visitors and will select the quotes we feel are most appealing to the BookQuoters community.

Founded in 2023, BookQuoters has quickly become a large and vibrant community of people who share an affinity for books. Books are seen by some as a throwback to a previous world; conversely, gleaning the main ideas of a book via a quote or a quick summary is typical of the Information Age but is a habit disdained by some diehard readers. We feel that we have the best of both worlds at BookQuoters; we read books cover-to-cover but offer you some of the highlights. We hope you’ll join us.