The Impossible Knife of Memory

I needed to hear the world but didn't want the world to know I was listening.

I'd treat myself to a reading marathon all weekend. All the ice cream I could eat, all the pages I could read. Heaven.

People who have to announce that they are trustworthy deserve to be lied to.

You're the one who doesn't understand, I've been standing on the edge with you for years.

Where did you live before you came here?" I asked. "The moon," he said smoothly. "We left because the place had no atmosphere.

Killing people is easier than it should be.” Dad put on his beret. “Staying alive is harder.

Note: 'family' does NOT only mean a biological unit composed of people who share genetic markers or legal bonds, headed by a heterosexual-mated pair. Family is much, much more than that.

The world is crazy. You need a license to drive a car and go fishing. You don't need a license to start a family. Two people have sex and BAM! Perfectly innocent kid is born whose life will be screwed up by her parents forever.

I swallowed the fear. It’s always there– fear– and if you don’t stay on top of it, you’ll drown. I swallowed again and stood tall, shoulders broad, arms loose. I was balanced, ready to move. My body said, “Yeah, you’re bigger and stronger, but if you touch this, I will hurt you.

Do you know how much women loathe it when guys think every show of negative emotion is tied to our menstrual cycle, like we're sheep or something?

I kissed him until everything that hurt inside me melted into a pool of black water so deep I couldn’t touch the bottom. As long as I was touching him, I wouldn’t drown.

Can't escape pain, kiddo. Battle through it and you get stronger.

My good sense bitch slapped my estrogen and told her to get a grip.

Everyone is born a freak," notes Hayley. "Every newborn baby, wet and hungry and screaming, is a fresh-hatched freak who wants to have a good time and make the world a better place. . . . Most teenagers wind up in high school. And high school is where the zombification process becomes deadly.

My earbuds were in, but I wasn't playing music. I needed to hear the world but didn't want the world to know I was listening.

The laws of the universe dictate that for every positive action, there is an unequal and sucky reaction.

Leaning against my father, the sadness finally broke open inside me, hollowing out my heart and leaving me bleeding. My feet felt rooted in the dirt. There were more than two bodies buried here. Pieces of me that I didn’t even know were under the ground. Pieces of dad, too.

Until then we're going to keep making memories like this, moments when we're the only two people in the whole world. And when we get scared or lonely or confused, we'll pull out these memories and wrap them around us and they'll make us feel safe. And strong.

Apologies mean nothing if you don't mean it.

The trick to surviving an interrogation is patience. Don’t offer up anything. Don’t explain. Answer the question and only the question that is asked so you don’t accidentally put your head in a noose.

Ouch," he said. "Move your foot." "No." "Go away." "Glad to see you, too." "What are you doing here?" I asked. "You missed the bus," he said. "I'm sick." "Need chicken soup?" "Actually, it's my period," I lied. "Killer cramps." "Chocolate and a heating pad?" "How do you know that?" "I have an older sister and my mom is a kick-ass feminist," he said. "I'm probably the only guy in school who can buy tampons without having a seizure. Look, at that, I can even say the word. 'Tampon, tampon, tampon.' If you say it enough, it stops sounding like a word, know what I mean?

Yes it is, because you can only be brave if you're scared.

The books I'd checked out of the library earlier in the week were still stacked on my bureau, whispering my name and begging to be read.

I am an owl, bird of the night. I see everything. I know everything.

I turned the page in Slaughterhouse Five, a forbidden book at Belmont because we were too young to read about soldiers swearing and bombs dropping and bodies blowing up and war sucking.

The gloaming that closed over us the cemetery had crawled inside his skin.

All of my answers were drawings of armored unicorns.