“I wanted you to fall. And I wanted to catch you.”
“...You are the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night. You are the face in all of my dreams and the smile I see when I close my eyes. Your voice when you sing in the shower late at night, when you think you’re alone, is like music to my ears...”
“That mother-"
"Hey, watch what you're about to call the guy standing at your door," Nate says.
"That motherly, wonderful, down-the-hall neighbour of mine. What's wrong with saying that?”
“I am willing to wait for whatever pieces she’s willing to give. And if I have to help her make each piece whole first, then so be it.”
“You ever make wishes?” -Nate
“All the time,” ... “You?” -Rowe
“Nah,” ... “I just made my first one in years.” -Nate
“Oh yeah? You want Barbie back?” -Rowe
“No,” he smiles. “I wished you were over here instead of there.” -Nate”
“She starts spinning slowly in a circle, laughing. And then it’s there - the smile. The same look she had on her face in that picture. It’s joy. And I just gave it to her.
My god, do I want to give it to her again.”
“I’m not angry at Rowe, I’m angry at myself for falling for her—for falling for a girl who can’t let herself be mine to love.”
“And it happens all at once—just looking at him, I fall in love. But it doesn’t matter—because I can belong to no one.”
“I don’t play games, Rowe. I’m just…I just don’t,” he says against my ear. “I will wait, but I won’t wait forever.”
“I feel like I just won an award. I might even make a T-shirt that says I gave Rowe Stanton her first orgasm.”
“Nate! Don’t even joke…” I start, but stop when he starts to tickle my sides, making me laugh uncontrollably.
Oh no. I’m doing it. And I’m making hats, too. And…oh yeah! I’m going to make one for Ty that says ‘My brother gave Rowe Stanton her first orgasm.”
“I hear your second one is pretty crazy about you, too. ( Yeah, that last part is totally me).
Your. Forever.
Josh.
And Nate.”
“I am willing to wait for whatever pieces she’s willing to give. And if I have to help her make each piece whole first, then so be it”
“You’re Rowe Stanton, a freshman from Arizona, and you’re here with honors. You haven’t picked a major yet, though I can tell from the small things you said during our walk over here that you really like art. You should think about that. You used to play tennis, and I bet you could still kick my ass, and you don’t wear socks with your sneakers. I like that. It’s hot.”
“I like Rowe’s dad. “We’ll see you again for dinner, okay?” I turn around to walk backward to answer him, doing my best to fall somewhere between fast and slow with my walk because, hell, I don’t want my pitchers hating me. “Looking forward to it, Tom. I’ll see you at sex.” Motherfucker. I just said sex”
“I gotta go but... I miss you. That's all."
"I miss you too", I say hugging my body tightly with the sleeves of his shirt.
This... Is falling.”
“I am afraid to speak or move for the fear all this wonderful beauty will vanish just like a broken silence”
“You. O Positive. How many exits?"
"What?...Oh shit, did you just call me by my bloodtype?”
“He is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen and it's not about his face, but the life force I can see in him. It's the smile and the pure promise of everything he has to offer. Like he's saying, 'Here I am world, are you ready for so much passion and beauty and goodness and love and every other word that should be in the dictionary under the word life?' Except this boy is dead, and the unnaturalness of it makes me want to pull my hair out with Tate and Narnie and Fitz and Jude's grief all combined. It makes me want to yell at the God that I wish I didn't believe in. For hogging him all to himself. I want to say, 'You greedy God. Give him back. I needed him here.”
“He loves a version of me that is incomplete. I always thought it was what I wanted: to be loved and admired. Now I think perhaps I'd like to be known.”
“There was nothing to be gained by losing his temper. There was never anything to be gained by that.”
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