“Everything in me is saying give up; that I don’t need her, but I do. I need her like I need to breathe.”
“I don’t think she likes my tattoos, and I’m very different from her husband.”
Quinn rolls his eyes. He’s far too smart for his age. “I think your tattoos tell a story, maybe she should learn to read.”
“I shouldn’t gloat, but every man needs a little beauty in his life, and Elle is my princess.”
“I know you’ve lost your husband. I know every day is a battle for you because you miss him. I’m not trying to take his place with you or the twins. I just want to fit into your life.”
“I want to know her, inside and out. I want to learn how to fall in love with her as my partner.”
“All you had to do was trust me.”
“If I could just get the one I’m infatuated with to just look in my direction. I’m firmly stuck in the friend category, though, and I don’t know how to get out of it. I’m afraid to tell her how I feel because the look on her face will break me. I know she doesn’t want me the way I want her, and I’d rather be her friend than not have her in my life at all.”
“Love?” I question, wanting to know his answer.
“Yeah, love. I can see myself falling in love with you and as much as I’m trying not to, it’s not working.” He says quietly. He sits down next to me and leans back into the couch. “I don’t know what else to say. I shouldn’t have to sell myself to you. You either like me or you don’t. Thing is, you can’t lie. I know you feel something, you just have to let yourself believe I’m good enough to be a part of your life.”
“Thank you,” she whispers.
It’s in that moment that I know I’ll do whatever I can to make this family smile, because it’s so going to be worth it.”
“He’s a part of your life and he’s part of the girls’ life. I’ll never ask you not to talk about him when I’m not around. I’ll never ask you to stop loving him. If he was here, I’d hate him.” I shake my head because that’s not true.
“No, I probably wouldn’t know you if he was here, and for that I’m both thankful and remorseful because his girls are the best, most beautiful girls that I’ve ever encountered, and I want to do right by not only them, but him too.”
“My mouth drops when she slides his hoodie off and pushes her fingers into his dark locks that are cut short on the sides, but left longer on top. Not too long, just enough to grab a hold of. I’ve been waiting months and she’s known him for thirty-seconds and is already touching him. He says something to her causing her to nod as he takes her hand and leads them off the dance floor. “Where’s he going?” I ask again.”
“Katelyn steps closer, her hand moving up my chest. I sigh when she touches my face. She holds me to her, like I belong. I’ve been waiting for this moment since I met her and now that I finally have her, I don’t think I’ll be able to let her go.”
“Harrison returns his arm to its previous position, resting comfortably on the back of the booth. I feel myself shifting. My body wants to sit in the nook he’s created, and for the life of me I don’t understand why. I’m not attracted to him. We are opposites and the tattoos… I can’t. I try to slide away from him without drawing too much attention to myself, but he notices. He shakes his head and removes his arm. My heart pounds and tension fills my body. I shouldn’t care.”
“I like Katelyn, a lot, but sometimes I feel that I can’t be enough for her.”
“Why? I think you’re a great dad.”
“Quinn, you make being a dad the easiest thing I’ve ever done, but that’s not it. I don’t think she likes my tattoos and I’m very different from her husband.”
Quinn rolls his eyes. He’s far too smart for his age. “I think your tattoos tell a story, maybe she should learn to read.”
“He played me like he plays his drums, with perfection.”
“Quinn starts to laugh as he gets out of the car. I follow, locking it behind us. “It’s not so bad. Grandma always bought me ice cream though.” He looks up at me and bats his eyes.
I shake my head. “Of course she did,” I say as I throw my arm around him. We walk toward the lion’s den, the James men, brave… and incredibly stupid.”
“Have you met Mr. Powell yet?”
I look at Liam questioningly. Is he serious? “Um yeah, I don’t think we’re at that stage in our relationship. Ask me in five years when we’ve graduated to texting.”
“That’s all it took for me to get a hard-on from standing next to her and all I did was touch her fingers. Her fingers for Christ sakes! How does that even compute in my brain? It’s also a mistake following her up the stairs, but there is no way I was showing her what was going on in my shorts. She’d be mortified. I’d probably run out of the room like a sissy.”
“You see the world in colors,
I see in Black and Red.”
“I curled myself into a ball and cried quietly, doing that thing that only young people can do, namely, feeling sorry for myself. Once you're past thirty you lose that ability; instead of feeling sorry for yourself you turn bitter.”
“Talking to Time Magazine a few years back, Peter Drucker got to the heart of things: “I will tell you a secret: Dealmaking beats working. Dealmaking is exciting and fun, and working is grubby. Running anything is primarily an enormous amount of grubby detail work . . . dealmaking is romantic, sexy. That’s why you have deals that make no sense.”
“You know, when I came home after our day in the city, I just crashed, thinking about Remi and how much I missed him. And then the next day was worse, And when you walked up to me at that ice cream machine, I just felt myself crumble inside. Around Remi, I felt like I was always trying to act like I was good enough. But around you, I don't want to pretend or hide. That's why I didn't say anything in the cafeteria that day, I knew that in five seconds, I'd be crying on your shoulder."
"That's what it's there for, Ethan."
Alek leaned in, took Ethan's face in his hands, and kissed him.”
“If she'd said she loved me and still did all those cruel and careless things, would my child mind have decided to accept that as the definition of love?
Probably.
Would I have ended up believing that love was manipulative and hurtful and full of pain, gotten use to being shoved aside, sworn at and disregarded, picked up and hugged, and then slapped around for getting in the way, starved and smiled at, neglected and cursed, told I was no good and would never amount to anything, then hefted high and proudly shown off down at the Walmart, introduced as a little pisser and a big mistake in the same breath?
Yes, I would have, because if she said she loved me and then acted that way I would have thought that was how you loved someone, and how someone should love you back.”
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