“You're not ready to hear this yet," he concluded. "But I do need you to know that I'm going to fight for you. I'm not making the mistake of walking away from you again. The only man in you future is me, Liv. The only kids in your future are mine.”
“My mum always said if you can’t say something nice, say something memorable.”
“I miss our Would You Rather conversations and your hilarious answers. I miss your laugh. I miss the way I feel when I make you laugh. Like I just won something really important. I miss just sitting with you in perfect, silent understanding. I miss the way you never judge anyone. It’s such a rare find, Liv. And I miss watching how kind you are with everyone. I miss being able to call you and talk to you about random shit and important shit. I miss my best friend. I miss you. I love you.”
“You'll end up living a lonely life if you're waiting around for perfect.”
“No one,” I whispered, my lips trembling with the emotion, “has ever made me feel like the person I’ve always wanted to be until you. You make me feel beautiful, Nate. All the way through. No one else has ever given me that. No one.”
“I’m glad,” he murmured against my mouth. “Not just because you deserve to feel that way … but because it makes you mine.”
“How can such a coward teach someone to be brave?”
“I’m going to let you keep that smug look on your face. You earned it.”
“I never meant to fall in love with you. But I did. I felt it the first night I made love to you. I tried to walk away then because I've never felt so lost and yet so fucking found as I felt that night looking into your eyes as I moved inside you.”
“I didn't just want Nate to love me. I wanted him to love me the way I loved him. The kind of love that's so big it would last beyond a lifetime.”
“What would you prefer? Life in a maximum-security prison or trapped in Jurassic Park?"
"Do I have a social standing in this prison?"
"No. You're just an average Joe."
"Then I guess I have to go with Jurassic Park."
"Why?"
"Well, I'll have constant fresh air, for a start, and also if I'm going to be anyone's prey, I'm going to be the prey of an animal that's acting out of instinct rather than psychopathy... You?"
"If you're in Jurassic Park, I'm in Jurassic Park.”
“You okay?’ Nate asked warily.
My fingers shook with the hangover as I leaned across my sink. ‘I look like the Bride of Frankenstein with a massive hangover.’
‘I’d be hungover too if I’d just had to fuck Frankenstein.”
“Do you play video games, Liv?’ he asked congenially.
‘Uh, yes.’
‘Well, stop cleaning up the dishes and come play with us,’ he teased.
I chuckled. ‘Are you asking me on a playdate?’ As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them. I wasn’t being flirty. I didn’t know how to be flirty! That was just my sense of humor, and now this guy was going to think I was coming on –
Nate laughed, cutting me off. ‘Only because you got the Star Trek reference. Otherwise, girls aren’t allowed to play with us. They’re icky.’
Deadpan, I crossed my arms over my chest. ‘Well, boys are icky too.’
He grinned huge. ‘Ain’t that the truth.”
“Let’s start with how you don’t feel sexually attractive.”
I gulped. “All right.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Upstairs in my bed, where it had all started, I slowly made love to Nate, promising him with every inch of me, that the ‘after’ we’d found together … well … it was forever.”
“You taught me to be brave again, Nate.'
I swiped at the tears, my heart catching painfully as his eyes seared into mine.
'How can such a coward teach someone to be brave?”
“I want to be someone's big love, Dad. I think I deserve to have the man I love love me back just as much.”
“"Mom, Arnie Welsh keeps calling me a geek. He says it like it's a bad thing. Is being a geek a bad thing?"
"Of course not, Soda Pop. And don't listen to labels. They don't matter."
"What are labels?"
"It's an imaginery sticker people slap on you with the word they think you are written on it. It doesn't matter who they think you are. It matters who you think you are."
"I think I might be a geek."
She laughed. "Then you be a geek. Just be whatever makes you happy, Soda Pop, and I'll be happy too.”
“Liv's perfect. She deserves perfect. She won't be settling for anything else.”
“It occurred to me that more than loss, it was the longing that hurt the most.”
“If you were just some woman in a bar, I’d pick you out from all the others, take you home, and fuck you so hard you wouldn’t be able to walk straight in the morning.”
I gulped.
In fact, I think I might have had a little mini-orgasm.”
“Okay, we’ll take it step by step. Strip to your underwear.”
A shiver went through me at his demand, but I found myself replying, “You could ask nicely, you know.”
His lips twitched. “Olivia, sweetheart, would you please strip down to your underwear for me?”
“Anger engulfed me and I ripped my hand away from him. ‘You left me,’ I growled. ‘You treated me no better than one of your random hookups, and suddenly because you’ve decided that no, wait, you do love me, I'm to come running back?’ I stood up, my chair clattering behind me with the force of the movement. ‘Your words are nice in the moment. But at the end of the day it means fuck all. I don’t trust you with your own feelings, Nate. Why the hell would I trust you with mine?”
“You’re not ready to hear this yet,” he concluded. “But I do need you to know that I’m going to fight for you. I’m not making the mistake of walking away from you again. The only man in your future is me, Liv. The only kids in your future are mine.”
“That would make it the fifth time since I'd started working at the university that I'd thrown someone out of one of those rooms for inappropriate behavior. And they say a library is a boring place to work.”
“I believed in all the things written within me, I’d just somehow along the way stopped believing in my book jacket.”
“Nate, your commitment phobia is showing again." He turned to me in mock horror.
"Where?" He patted his cheeks anxiously. "Get it off me.”
“Life changes us second by second.”
“I tutted. “That’s cold, Nate.”
“Hey—” He pointed his finger at me.
“I’m not a complete shit. I realized later that night that it was a stupid bloody idea and I felt awful.”
“Felt awful?” Nathan harrumphed.
“You cried your eyes out.” I pinched my lips together to keep from laughing. Nate scowled.
“Manly tears. Manly tears of regret.”
Young, Samantha (2014-01-07). Before Jamaica Lane (On Dublin Street Book 3) (Kindle Locations 2913-2916). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.”
“How do you say what's in your heart if your heart is something you haven't known for years? How do you give yourself completely when all you've done is bury yourself in grief? How do you come back from the dar when it's all you can remember?”
“There are chords in the hearts of the most reckless which cannot be touched without emotion.”
“There were too many idiot men in the world, to her way of thinking. And most of them ended up bumping up against stubborn women.”
“What’s called luck is usually an outgrowth of successful communication.”
“But that's why you built the towers, isn't it? Weren't the towers built as fantasies of wealth and power that would one day become fantasies of destruction? You build a thing like that so you can see it come down. The provocation is clear. What other reason would there be to go so high and then to double it, do it twice? It's a fantasy, so why not do it twice? You are saying, Here it is, bring it down.”
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