Tasteful Nudes and Other Misguided Attempts at Personal Growth and Validation

A&R stands for “artists and repertoire.” No one knows what that means, but the A&R guy is the person at the record label in charge of making sure a band doesn’t suck, overdose, or try to make a concept album.

I had chosen to believe that my recent promotion was due to my overall sense of responsibility, my razor-sharp attention to detail, and that fact that I had yet to show up to work drunk. I now realized that what had really given me the edge over my fellow employees was that I simply wasn’t on crack.

case they don’t have them where you live, Sizzler is a restaurant chain specializing in steak and seafood priced so low it’s hard not to worry. 4

What—does she think she’s too good to offer me sex in exchange for money?” I whimpered to myself. “The nerve of her!

For starters, as best I can tell gyms are legally required to play the Black Eyed Peas at all times, which, despite the fact that I am sometimes genuinely looking to get a party of some sort started, is more than I can bear.

It was in that moment I remembered that while I may have been a quarter Canadian, my mother was twice the Canadian I was, so her tolerance for bullshit on the ice was even lower than mine. I both feared and admired her for that.

This is it,” I thought. “The big dance.” I was going to supervise the fuck out of that place. And I was pretty sure the rest of the staff was as excited about it as I was.