Lemony Snicket · 258 pages
Rating: (20.1K votes)
“They say in every library there is a single book that can answer the question that burns like a fire in the mind.”
“Don’t repeat yourself. It’s not only repetitive, it’s redundant, and people have heard it before.”
“There's an easy method for finding someone when you hear them scream. First get a clean sheet of paper and a sharp pencil. Then sketch out nine rows of fourteen squares each. Then throw the piece of paper away and find whoever is screaming so you can help them. It is no time to fiddle with paper.”
“Knowing that something is wrong and doing it anyway happens very often in life, and I doubt I will ever know why.”
“You may be right,' she said, a phrase which here meant 'I’m wrong, but I don’t have the courage to say so.”
“I’m reminded of a book my father used to read me,” she said. “A bunch of elves and things get into a huge war over a piece of jewelry that everybody wants but nobody can wear.”
“A mystery is solved with a story.”
“The children of this world and the adults of this world are in entirely separate boats and only drift near each other when we need a ride from someone or when someone needs us to wash our hands.”
“So you’re reluctant, I said to myself. Many, many people are reluctant. It’s like having feet. It’s nothing to brag about.”
“Scolding must be very, very fun, otherwise children would be allowed to do it. It is not because children don’t have what it takes to scold. You need only three things, really. You need time, to think up scolding things to say. You need effort, to put these scolding things in a good order, so that the scolding can be more and more insulting to the person being scolded. And you need chutzpah, which is a word for the sort of show-offy courage it takes to stand in front of someone and give them a good scolding, particularly if they are exhausted and sore and not in the mood to hear it.”
“Every new promise was like something heavy I had to carry, with no place to put anything down.”
“I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. It is good to brush your teeth when you are angry, because you brush harder and do a better job.”
“There was something I was always very good at, however, and that was teaching myself not to be frightened while frightening things are going on. It is difficult to do this, but I had learned. It is simply a matter of putting one’s fear aside, like the vegetable on the plate you don’t want to touch until all of your rice and chicken are gone, and getting frightened later, when one is out of danger. Sometimes I imagine I will be frightened for the rest of my life because of all of the fear I put aside during my time in Stain’d-by-the-Sea.”
“There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap, and it is better to stain the napkin than your clothing. The other is that it can serve as a perfect hiding place. Practically nobody is nosey enough to take the napkin off a lap to see what is hidden there.”
“The library was one enormous room, with long, high metal shelves and the perfect quiet that libraries provide for anyone looking for an answer.”
“I thought maybe if I stared hard enough, I could see the lights of the city I had left so very far behind. This was nonsense, of course, but there's nothing wrong with occasionally staring out the window and thinking nonsense, as long as the nonsense is yours.”
“You must be all a-tingle with excitement.'
'I guess so,' I said, but I did not feel a-tingle. I did not feel a-anything.”
“Nothing firms up a friendship like a good-natured argument.”
“I do what I do," I said, "in order to do something else.”
“The map is not the territory.”
“It is always terrible to be told to go play with people one doesn’t know...”
“Stretched out in front of me was my time as an adult, and then a skeleton, and then nothing except perhaps a few books on a few shelves.”
“But the world did not match the picture in my head, and instead I was with a strange, uncombed person, overlooking a sea without water and a forest without trees.”
“There is no easy way to train an apprentice. My two tools are example and nagging.”
“It felt like the wrong thing to do, standing at the wrong door in the wrong place. We did it anyway. Knowing something is wrong and doing it anyway happens very often in life, and I doubt I will eer know why.”
“They were almond cookies, although they could have been made of spinach and shoes for all I cared. I ate eleven of them, right in a row. It is rude to take the last cookie.”
“It looked like something the Hemlock needed, or a piece of equipment a plumber had left behind. It looked like none of your business.”
“There was still plenty of water in the basement, and I felt it soaking me from the knees on down. If someone wanted to torture me until I told them a critical piece of information, all they would have to do is get my socks wet. It feels terrible.”
“Various parts of my body told me that in the future they would appreciate it if I slept lying down on a bed instead of sitting at the counter of Black Cat Coffee. I quietly reassured them that this was an unusual situation, and had the machinery make me some bread as a breakfast.”
My chaperone looked at me like I should aha! back, but all I could manage was a quiet "ah." I made a note to ha later.”
“You'd better eat that," she says.
"I'm taking it easy on my stomach," I protest. "Come on. It just had a knife in it.”
“If I wasn't going to be a world-famous journalist and if I didn't have such respect for truth and justice, I could be an amazing master criminal.”
“You know what my father said about innocent clients? ... He said the scariest client a lawyer will ever have is an innocent client. Because if you fuck up and he goes to prison, it'll scar you for life ... He said there is no in-between with an innocent client. No negotiation, no plea bargain, no middle ground. There's only one verdict. You have to put an NG up on the scoreboard. There's no other verdict but not guilty."
Levin nodded thoughtfully.
"The bottom line was my old man was a damn good lawyer and he didn't like having innocent clients," I said. "I'm not sure I do, either.”
“Am I odd?Is there something wrong with me,like Mrs.Tifton Said?"
Skye knelt down on the wet grass and looked straight into Batty's eyes. "No you stupid idiot,there's nothing wrong. with you.”
“You know the legend. Stab them in the heart and they’ll die. (Ravyn)
Call me Buffy. I’m even blond, but don’t ask me to wear a halter top. Or corset. (Susan)”
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