Lemony Snicket · 258 pages
Rating: (20.1K votes)
“They say in every library there is a single book that can answer the question that burns like a fire in the mind.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“Don’t repeat yourself. It’s not only repetitive, it’s redundant, and people have heard it before.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“There's an easy method for finding someone when you hear them scream. First get a clean sheet of paper and a sharp pencil. Then sketch out nine rows of fourteen squares each. Then throw the piece of paper away and find whoever is screaming so you can help them. It is no time to fiddle with paper.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“Knowing that something is wrong and doing it anyway happens very often in life, and I doubt I will ever know why.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“You may be right,' she said, a phrase which here meant 'I’m wrong, but I don’t have the courage to say so.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“I’m reminded of a book my father used to read me,” she said. “A bunch of elves and things get into a huge war over a piece of jewelry that everybody wants but nobody can wear.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“A mystery is solved with a story.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“The children of this world and the adults of this world are in entirely separate boats and only drift near each other when we need a ride from someone or when someone needs us to wash our hands.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“So you’re reluctant, I said to myself. Many, many people are reluctant. It’s like having feet. It’s nothing to brag about.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“Scolding must be very, very fun, otherwise children would be allowed to do it. It is not because children don’t have what it takes to scold. You need only three things, really. You need time, to think up scolding things to say. You need effort, to put these scolding things in a good order, so that the scolding can be more and more insulting to the person being scolded. And you need chutzpah, which is a word for the sort of show-offy courage it takes to stand in front of someone and give them a good scolding, particularly if they are exhausted and sore and not in the mood to hear it.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“Every new promise was like something heavy I had to carry, with no place to put anything down.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. It is good to brush your teeth when you are angry, because you brush harder and do a better job.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“There was something I was always very good at, however, and that was teaching myself not to be frightened while frightening things are going on. It is difficult to do this, but I had learned. It is simply a matter of putting one’s fear aside, like the vegetable on the plate you don’t want to touch until all of your rice and chicken are gone, and getting frightened later, when one is out of danger. Sometimes I imagine I will be frightened for the rest of my life because of all of the fear I put aside during my time in Stain’d-by-the-Sea.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap, and it is better to stain the napkin than your clothing. The other is that it can serve as a perfect hiding place. Practically nobody is nosey enough to take the napkin off a lap to see what is hidden there.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“The library was one enormous room, with long, high metal shelves and the perfect quiet that libraries provide for anyone looking for an answer.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“I thought maybe if I stared hard enough, I could see the lights of the city I had left so very far behind. This was nonsense, of course, but there's nothing wrong with occasionally staring out the window and thinking nonsense, as long as the nonsense is yours.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“You must be all a-tingle with excitement.'
'I guess so,' I said, but I did not feel a-tingle. I did not feel a-anything.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“Nothing firms up a friendship like a good-natured argument.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“I do what I do," I said, "in order to do something else.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“The map is not the territory.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“It is always terrible to be told to go play with people one doesn’t know...”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“Stretched out in front of me was my time as an adult, and then a skeleton, and then nothing except perhaps a few books on a few shelves.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“But the world did not match the picture in my head, and instead I was with a strange, uncombed person, overlooking a sea without water and a forest without trees.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“There is no easy way to train an apprentice. My two tools are example and nagging.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“It felt like the wrong thing to do, standing at the wrong door in the wrong place. We did it anyway. Knowing something is wrong and doing it anyway happens very often in life, and I doubt I will eer know why.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“They were almond cookies, although they could have been made of spinach and shoes for all I cared. I ate eleven of them, right in a row. It is rude to take the last cookie.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“It looked like something the Hemlock needed, or a piece of equipment a plumber had left behind. It looked like none of your business.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“There was still plenty of water in the basement, and I felt it soaking me from the knees on down. If someone wanted to torture me until I told them a critical piece of information, all they would have to do is get my socks wet. It feels terrible.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“Various parts of my body told me that in the future they would appreciate it if I slept lying down on a bed instead of sitting at the counter of Black Cat Coffee. I quietly reassured them that this was an unusual situation, and had the machinery make me some bread as a breakfast.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“Aha!"
My chaperone looked at me like I should aha! back, but all I could manage was a quiet "ah." I made a note to ha later.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Who Could That Be at This Hour?
“Even the seemingly immortal gods survive only as long as they are required by mortal men.”
― Frank Herbert, quote from The Jesus Incident
“It's two A.M. "To sleep or to write that is the question?" Whether it tis nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of my piss poor punctuation or take arms against a sea of keys with so many new possibilities.”
― quote from Return to Stantasyland
“Once more unto the breach," Wellington grumbled in the stillness of the carriage.
Eliza looked up from the address Douglas had given her. "Sorry, Welly, what was that?"
"Shakespeare. I always recite it just before placing my career in harm's way, or have you not noticed that when we began casually stepping out of Ministry protocol?"
"And here I thought you were whispering sweet nothings in my ear when you were spontaneously breaking out into passages from Romeo and Juliet yesterday."
"You failed to notice I was reciting the scene at Juliet's tomb.”
― quote from The Janus Affair
“خذنى إلى هذه المملكة المجهولة حيث أريد أن أذهب! خذنى إلى باب الموت, غير واع و جبهتى تنزف دماً, إداً يمكن أن أصبح شخصاً آخر!”
― Orhan Pamuk, quote from The New Life
“Sorry, Toby," said Max, plucking up the smee by one end. "This will have to do." He unceremoniously dunked the creature into a nearby pitcher of water. "Better?"
"Invigorated," groused the smee. "And now I will ask you to kindly put me down and never to grab me by that particular part of my anatomy again."
Horrified, Max promptly dropped the smee onto its pillow.”
― Henry H. Neff, quote from The Maelstrom
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