“That's what people do. Kill the things they're afraid of.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“So now I'm thinking about it. I'm imagining sitting down with my parents and actually saying, "I'm gay." And you know what? It makes me a little mad. I mean, straight guys don't have to sit their parents down and tell them they like girls.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“I'm still kind of a mess. But I think we all are. No one's got it all together. I don't think you ever do get it totally together. Probably if you did manage to do it you'd spontaneously combust. I think that's a law of nature. If you ever manage to become perfect, you have to die instantly before you ruin things for everyone else.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“Seven little crazy kids chopping up sticks;
One burnt her daddy up and then there were six.
Six little crazy kids playing with a hive;
One tattooed himself to death and then there were five.
Five little crazy kids on a cellar door;
One went all schizo and then there were four.
Four little crazy kids going out to sea;
One wouldn't say a word and then there were three.
Three little crazy kids walking to the zoo;
One jerked himself too much and then there were two.
Two little crazy kids sitting in the sun;
One a took a bunch of pills and then there was one.
One little crazy kid left all alone;
He went and slit his wrists, and then there were none.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“How come someone always saves the people who try to kill themselves and then makes them tell everyone how sorry they are for ruining their evening? I keep feeling like everyone wants me to apologize for something. but I'm not going to. I don't have anything to apologize for. They're the ones who screwed everything up. Not me.
I didn't ask to be saved.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“I’ve been thinking about that ever since. Am I lucky? Am I lucky that I didn’t die? Am I lucky that, compared to the other kids here, my life doesn’t seem so bad? Maybe I am, but I have to say, I don’t feel lucky. For one thing, I’m stuck in this pit. And just because your life isn’t as awful as someone else’s, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. You can’t compare how you feel to the way other people feel. It just doesn’t work. What might look like the perfect life—or even an okay life—to you might not be so okay for the person living it.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“Just because your life isn't as awful as someone else's, that doesn't mean it doesn't suck. You can't compare how you feel to the way other people feel. It just doesn't work. What might look like the perfect life -- or even an okay life -- to you might not be so okay for the person living it.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“Anyone can be crazy. That's usually just because there's something screwed up in your wiring, you know? But suicide is a whole different thing. I mean, how much do you have to hate yourself to want to just wipe yourself out?”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“I knew people were talking, but I wasn't listening. I wasn't interested in anything anyone had to say.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“Why is it that you have to warn people about who you are?”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“That sounds weird: "kill yourself." It makes it sound like you tried to murder someone, only that someone is you.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“It will go away... The stuff in your head. Little by little.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“I'm tired of people thinking they're doing me favours.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“Once you realise there's nothing to be afraid of when you die, there's nothing else to worry about.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“Now I just have these reddish scars there. I guess I always will, although Goody says they’ll fade over time. I don’t know if I want them to fade. That probably sounds totally freaky, but part of me doesn’t want to forget what it felt like, even though it hurt. If I forget about the pain, I might also forget that it was a really stupid idea to do it in the first place.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“Let me tell something, seeing your name and psychiatric ward on the same piece of paper isn't the best way to start your day.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“And anyway, the truth isn't all that great. I mean, what's the truth? Planes falling out of the sky. Buses blowing up and ripping little kids into millions of pieces. Twelve-year-olds raping people and then shooting them in the head so they can't tell. I can't watch the news anymore or look at the papers. It's like whoever sits up there in Heaven has this big bag of really crappy stuff, and once or twice a day she or he reaches in and sprinkles a little bit of it over the world and makes everything crazy, like fairy dust that's past its expiration date.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“Sometimes I think there’s someone up there just sitting around thinking of ways to make me look like a complete moron. Seriously, I bet there’s an angel—or, more likely, a demon—assigned just to me. And every day it gets up and asks itself what it can do to ruin my life. Well, today it got an A plus.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“I know all about dreams that make you want to scream.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“I keep feeling like everyone wants me to apologize for something.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“I swear, sometimes it feels like there's this monkey in my head who runs around turning the dials and changing channels on me. One minute I'm sitting around eating chocolate chip cookies and then all of a sudden I'm thinking about bears.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“I think he just loved being with the bears because they didn't make him feel bad. I get it too. When he was with the bears, they didn't care that he was kind of weird, or that he'd gotten into trouble for drinking too much and using drugs(which apparently he did a lot of). They didn't ask him a bunch of stupid questions about how he felt, or why he did what he did. They just let him be who he was.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“It's a really crappy feeling to realize that your entire outook on your life can be controlled by some little pill that looks like a Pez, and that some weird combination of drugs can make your brain think it's on a holiday somewhere really sweet when you're standing naked in the middle of the school cafeteria while everyone takes pictures of you. Metaphorically. Or whatever.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“If you ever manage to become perfect, you have to die instantly before you ruin things for everyone else.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“I'm not sure what a good person is, exactly. On the one hand, it could be someone who always play by the rules. But someone can follow the rules and still be a real jerk, you know? In fact, some of the biggest idiots I know are people who follow the rules, usually because they make you feel like crap when you don't.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“That sounds so weird: "kill yourself." It makes it sound like you tried to murder someone, only that someone is you. But killing someone is wrong, and I don't think suicide is. It's my life, right? I should be able to end it if I want to. I don't think it's a sin.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“One time Allie and I skipped school and went to see this foreign film called Los Diablos, where these villagers found a glowing blue ball and peeled pieces off of it to see what was inside. Only the ball was really radioactive, and they all died from the poison. I think that’s what happens when you look too deep inside for the truth. The poison comes out, and you die, even though you have beautiful glowing pieces of blue truth in your fingers.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“Personally, I think they killed the bear because they were afraid of it. That s what people do, kill the things they re afraid of.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“It’s a really crappy feeling to realise that your entire outlook on life can be controlled by some little pill.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
“I mean, how do you know if people are good for you or not? It's not like they come with an FDA approved sticker or anything.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, quote from Suicide Notes
Michael Thomas Ford
Born place: in The United States
Born date October 1, 1968
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“The car whispered up the slope and nosed quietly out above the trees. He was driving like a careful insult.”
― Mary Stewart, quote from Nine Coaches Waiting
“The point of self-reflection is, foremost, to clarify and to find honesty. Self-reflection is the way to throw self-lies out and face the truth—however painful it might be to admit that you were wrong. We seek consistency in ourselves, and so when we are faced with inconsistency, we struggle to deny. Denial has no place in self-reflection, and so it is incumbent upon a person to admit his errors, to embrace them and to move along in a more positive direction. We can fool ourselves for all sorts of reasons. Mostly for the sake of our ego, of course, but sometimes, I now understand, because we are afraid. For sometimes we are afraid to hope, because hope breeds expectation, and expectation can lead to disappointment. And”
― R.A. Salvatore, quote from Road of the Patriarch
“It is perhaps the great discomfort of those trying to silence the world to discover that we have voices sealed inside our heads, voices that with each passing day, grow even louder than the clamor of the world outside.”
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